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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is discrimation against those with disabilties?

56 replies

ComfortFoodCafe · 06/11/2025 16:34

my ds school have sent this out today saying your child needs 95 % attendance by the end of term to get a movie afternoon. Im guessing those who have lower attendance have to do work.
aibu to think this is disgraceful and discrimating against children who have disabilties and need time off school for it?

edit: Should I bring this up with the school? My child is one of these kids, their attendance is at 93 % from missing 3 days last term due to their disability.

To think this is discrimation against those with disabilties?
OP posts:
Viviennemary · 06/11/2025 20:17

BoredZelda · 06/11/2025 17:03

My daughter’s school always makes allowances for my daughter’s disability. Her non attendance due to disability related things isn’t counted.

If you haven’t already raised this with the school, do so now.

That sounds a very sensible approach.

Jellicoo · 06/11/2025 20:14

Fabulous post @Violetmouse

elliejjtiny · 06/11/2025 18:53

Thankfully my dc school just gives them a certificate and a badge for 95% and above attendance. My 12 year old is currently on 85% attendance because he had an operation and there were complications. He was still doing hospital school while in bed and attached to a drip. He still did the homework set while he was recovering at home.

NearlyDec · 06/11/2025 18:34

If you go through their SEND policy they will have some thing about children with diabailities been able to fully access school, quote that at them when you complain.

stichguru · 06/11/2025 18:31

Does anyone actually feel that their child attends more because of what they receives for attending? Or that parents who don't see missing school as a big deal, getting their child to school more because of the 100% attendance rewards?

Violetmouse · 06/11/2025 18:28

Pickledpoppetpickle · 06/11/2025 17:33

Am a teacher with a disabled child. Absences due to medical appointments or issues related to the disability to not count towards attendance statistics. Some schools do not necessarily understand their obligations but it is easy to put right with a well worded letter. You can stop frothing. HTH.

I'm a parent with a disabled child. My experience is that it is not easy to put right with a well worded letter (DH is a lawyer so I'm fairly sure the letters have been well worded). I'm glad that's been your experience but please don't patronise others by telling us to "stop frothing". We have had to go through the same process every time with 3 different schools now.

The other issue is the impact on the children who have poor attendance who repeatedly have to listen to school telling them that this is a serious cause for concern, that it means they'll do badly in exams and later in life etc etc. It's distressing for my daughter to hear that - fortunately she comes home and tells us about it so we can reassure her and is also old enough to understand that correlation is not causation. But it still has an impact. So please don't tell me this is easily fixed because that has not been the case for us

WiddlinDiddlin · 06/11/2025 18:23

Pickledpoppetpickle · 06/11/2025 17:45

Also a teacher with a disabled child.absolutely adjust.ents are made

Or.. and I realise this is right outta left field...

Some schools do as they should...and some do not.

I attended two secondary schools. One made adjustments for disability related absences. One did not.

Shocker, not all schools are the same.

MoreHairyThanScary · 06/11/2025 18:23

Pickledpoppetpickle · 06/11/2025 17:45

Also a teacher with a disabled child.absolutely adjust.ents are made

There may have been in your school but it is certainly not replicated across the school system. DD2 also has Cystic Fibrosis and I can remember marching into primary school with a list of her appointment dates and her attendance…. I had a productive discussion with the headteacher where I pointed out that given her condition the fact that she had made it in on every other available day should be doubly celebrated not overlooked. She did get the certificate (just not in the assembly with everyone else) they stopped doing them fairly soon after that.

Ponderingwindow · 06/11/2025 18:00

My child misses school due to a disability. We have tried to get something in writing because having to deal with it ad-hoc is extremely stessful. They won’t budge. They just say we can call and explain the absences, but I know as the number gets higher each year they will start requesting documentation I can’t provide.

we never let her school work suffer. I tutor her myself as needed. Her grades are tests are stellar.

the other day her school released almost all the students in her year for the day, but she had to stay because of her high absence rate. She sat and did nothing all day. It was ridiculous. The school apologized, but said their hands were tied by policy.

it is absolutely discrimination.

CometSkyarch · 06/11/2025 17:59

I have seen people taking their children off school for these reasons recently on MN

I agree with the school

Holidays
Birthdays
May catch a cold, illness, bug

NotDelia · 06/11/2025 17:53

I don’t think it just discriminates against disabled kids - it also lands unfairly on kids who happen to get sick a lot.

I would write back to the headteacher “how should I explain this to dc aged 5? I have told him school will be punishing all the children who are so sick they have to keep missing school, and school will take away their Christmas treat afternoon and they will have to catch up on SPaG and Maths.
He was very sad and asked if being sick is bad behaviour, and I said I would ask you that question. Is being sick bad behaviour? If not, why is it being punished?”

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 06/11/2025 17:48

Pickledpoppetpickle · 06/11/2025 17:45

Also a teacher with a disabled child.absolutely adjust.ents are made

There was none for mine in severe ASD burnout. And none for the 500 out of 1800 kids l taught every week.

Pickledpoppetpickle · 06/11/2025 17:45

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 06/11/2025 17:36

I was a teacher for 30 years. There are no adjustments made.

Its all bollocks and shite. I’m totally with OP on this.

Also a teacher with a disabled child.absolutely adjust.ents are made

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 06/11/2025 17:36

Keytoken · 06/11/2025 16:38

I think unless your child is one of them you have no idea what reasonable adjustments are made for children with disabilities.

I was a teacher for 30 years. There are no adjustments made.

Its all bollocks and shite. I’m totally with OP on this.

Jamesblonde2 · 06/11/2025 17:35

Do you not see the point of why the school is doing this?

Pickledpoppetpickle · 06/11/2025 17:33

Am a teacher with a disabled child. Absences due to medical appointments or issues related to the disability to not count towards attendance statistics. Some schools do not necessarily understand their obligations but it is easy to put right with a well worded letter. You can stop frothing. HTH.

SD1978 · 06/11/2025 17:22

Explain to the school that it’s disability discrimination as you have appointments which you have provided to the school, or days off due to disability. Also let them know who that you will take it further and don’t believe that any child should be discriminated against for what is ultimately a parental decision to keep a child of school, and further disadvantaging vulnerable children is unfair. Rewards shouldn’t be a thing in schools for attendance as ultimately it either comes down to legitimate illness, mental health, or parental neglect at least in primary school as a cause for the overwhelming majority

Jellicoo · 06/11/2025 17:14

Yes I would mention it.

You might find they decide to "clarify" the rules in some way that ensures these children get included.

It's still pants though. My son's only in school because they are understanding of his difficulties, and unfortunately in return he hammers their attendance stats. Rubbish system. They should get glowing extra credit for keeping a struggling child in school (albeit part time) when others couldn't.

CornwallCoast · 06/11/2025 17:08

Sickness or attending appointments is considered “authorised absence”. I would challenge the school. If your child doesn’t get to attend the movie afternoon then keep them home. My sons school did something similar and so many children who should have been included in the “treat” were excluded, let’s just say the headteacher had an onslaught of complaints and one parent who went to the local newspaper.

ExpressCheckout · 06/11/2025 17:07

CaminoPlanner · 06/11/2025 17:03

YANBU. I hate this sort of one-size-fits-all rule that gets wheeled out in schools. It's thoughtless to the point of being thick. Utterly devoid of critical or independent thinking. Fight it and explain to head teachers and Governors why you are campaigning to get it changed.

I agree. Not withstanding the lack of critical thinking, it simply shows a lack of understanding of disability rights and the law. Heaven knows how someone can become a HT without this kind of knowledge.

BoredZelda · 06/11/2025 17:03

My daughter’s school always makes allowances for my daughter’s disability. Her non attendance due to disability related things isn’t counted.

If you haven’t already raised this with the school, do so now.

CaminoPlanner · 06/11/2025 17:03

YANBU. I hate this sort of one-size-fits-all rule that gets wheeled out in schools. It's thoughtless to the point of being thick. Utterly devoid of critical or independent thinking. Fight it and explain to head teachers and Governors why you are campaigning to get it changed.

ExpressCheckout · 06/11/2025 17:00

Raise this with the HT and, if there is push back, you might also consider taking some legal advice. Rewarding attendance with a treat like a movie afternoon where children with disabilities are less likely to qualify because they miss time for medical reasons might amount to indirect discrimination under the Equality Act 2010 unless the school has taken reasonable steps to make adjustments.

I'm not a legal person but that's my understanding of the law.

Ihopeithinkiknow · 06/11/2025 16:52

When my son was alive he had to be admitted to hospital every 12 weeks for 2 weeks at a time for treatment for his Cystic Fibrosis and the amount of shit I used to get about his attendance was insane and it just adds so much stress to an already stressful situation it made me want to scream sometimes

SummerFeverVenice · 06/11/2025 16:49

This happened to my DC as well. I simply lied to the school I’d booked dentist appointments during the movie afternoon so as to avoid them missing actual learning time. I picked my DC up and we had our own afternoon treat.