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AIBU?

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SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 06/11/2025 17:13

Blondeshavemorefun · 06/11/2025 17:12

So guess you need to decide if the school won’t budge on household income whether you split as a couple or don’t live together for the next 3/4years so they the boy can stay at school via the bursary

if dp moved out would he get help via uc and rent (depends if the house is Co owned)

how long have you been together /live together @CloverRiver

is the mortgage joint or did he move in with you (as you seem to have the money)

and I get why you don’t want to spend £43k over the years as it’s less in your pension pot or to inheritance to your older kids

I mean this is really the upshot...

Blondeshavemorefun · 06/11/2025 17:12

So guess you need to decide if the school won’t budge on household income whether you split as a couple or don’t live together for the next 3/4years so they the boy can stay at school via the bursary

if dp moved out would he get help via uc and rent (depends if the house is Co owned)

how long have you been together /live together @CloverRiver

is the mortgage joint or did he move in with you (as you seem to have the money)

and I get why you don’t want to spend £43k over the years as it’s less in your pension pot or to inheritance to your older kids

Jellicoo · 06/11/2025 17:07

I don't think UC would be as simple as you think, especially as you say he's on the mortgage for your current home. If he moves out then the equity he retains, in a home he no longer lives in, would I believe be assessed as savings. UC would expect him to sell such assets if worth more than £16k.

I understand you don't want to be on the hook for the fees but the alternative could get very messy. I wonder if you buying him out of a chunk of the house would be worth considering.

What does he think of all this? Is he assuming you'll just sign?

MangoBanjoe · 06/11/2025 16:55

Another poster on the previous thread made an interesting point about the legal protection of marriage, and the converse.

You’ve chosen not to get married, OP, as the higher earner with your own children and your own assets. Surely this kind of situation is precisely why? In many blended family situations, including yours, it makes financial sense not to wed.

MangoBanjoe · 06/11/2025 16:50

CloverRiver · 06/11/2025 16:33

@ChocolateBoxCottage · Today 16:29

By this logic any adult children living at home would also need to declare income as a adult in the household

Yes this is actually very true and I hadn’t thought of that. Will my adult DC need to declare their incomes too then? The nominal rent they pay me?

You’d certainly have to declare that as income, and have them as lodgers. Which would further reduce bursary entitlement

Original poster
CloverRiver · 06/11/2025 16:33

@ChocolateBoxCottage · Today 16:29

By this logic any adult children living at home would also need to declare income as a adult in the household

Yes this is actually very true and I hadn’t thought of that. Will my adult DC need to declare their incomes too then? The nominal rent they pay me?

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