To take my 12 year old daughter's phone away at bedtime

It's a sensible rule to have
Keeps them safe and is better for their sleep.

I don’t take my DDs phones away at night but they do have parental locks on them, even my 14 year old. I have said I will take the parental controls off her phone the summer after she’s finished her GCSEs

My kids’ phones went on charge downstairs overnight from when they first got them (aged 11) until they were 18. I think every parent should do this!

I can’t believe this is even a question. Yes of course we control their phones. It would be negligent parenting not to. We have Family Link so can set the time we want it to go off.
13 year old’s is 7pm as that is when we have dinner. But I can give bonus time for example if she wants to chat to a friend.
Having phones in bedrooms all night is a terrible idea.

100% the right thing to so. Both my kids phones stay downstairs at night.

You would be a negligent parent if you did not do this.

I had that rule until DD was 16.

I didnt do this. Its one of the worst parenting decisions ive made.

My 13 yo has his for his alarm but downtime is set on his from 9pm so he can’t use it until his morning alarm goes on.

All phones in our house are charged downstairs every night. Completely non-negotiable. That applies to me and DH in our 50s as well as the teenagers. In addition the 13yo is allowed no electronic devices (not even the TV) at the weekend or during school holidays until after lunch. The 16&17yo don't have that rule but are much more sensible in their phone use. And no phones at the dinner table either, and DH wants a no phones in the bathroom rule as well.

We use this too. Somehow the tech turning itself off is a whole lot less inflammatory than a parent asking to turn it off.

13yo ds here he is expected to bring his phone downstairs at bedtime
Though I've got it locked from 9.30-7.30 anyway so.wont do him any good anyway

I have 2 x 12 year olds.
They are allowed a total of 3 hours screen time a day then the phone can’t be used.
It also has downtime on from 9pm when its lights out and the phone comes down stairs to charge (even though it can’t be used).
Additionally, I turn the internet off for the house at 11pm just in case they sneak a tv or something on.
I would not entertain arguing with her, these are the rules. I do not care what her friends do. If she objected I would cancel the contract.
She would soon learn it’s to 9pm or not at all.
Sleep and being well rested is far more important!

I still do it with my 15 yo and intend to until he finishes school. Then it's up to him. If he goes to bed after me (quite often in the holidays) he has to leave it on charge in the kitchen or the landing. If it's not there when I get up (and he knows I'm an insomniac so quite often get up in the middle of the night too) he loses it the next day. Same for laptop/iPad.

DD13's phone is on downtime 7pm-7am. I did ask her this year if she wanted me to extend it 8pm-7am and she said no. She can still access the phone and messages for family members and her bus pass/timetable app and maps. For both her and my DC16, if I catch a phone in the bedroom after supper, they lose access the following day. They each have a Bluetooth speaker, if they want to listen to something in the evening, they can ask me to give them some time and they can play it on their speaker. The phone stays in the living room.

We have a friend having a horrific time with their nr 16 year old who was allowed their phone whenever and it’s has done untold damage to the child and the family relationships

No one is allowed phones in bedrooms or bathrooms - regardless of age. Amazed you're arguing.

Who is in charge, you or her? That’s what it boils down to.

Mg nearly 16 year old isn’t allowed her phone in her room at night. No one does in our house.

Please do it. Our family has been subject to horrific online grooming. If my sd mum had known I’m sure the phone would’ve been taken away

Snapchat Predator who abused 200 girls jailed for life:

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/oct/25/lewis-edwards-south-wales-police-abused-girls-jailed www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/oct/25/lewis-edwards-south-wales-police-abused-girls-jailed]]]]

Would you let this man into your daughter's bedroom? If not, why would you let him - or men like him- reach her via her phone?

No phones allowed in bedrooms at any time in this house, if he our son moans about it the moaning time is added on the next day which reduces his phone time. He knows if he were to moan on a regular basis the phone will go all together.

Can't argue with this... 👍🏼

My 15 and 13 year old's phone are set to "downtime" one hour before bed and go into a downstairs drawer to charge.

Protect and parent your child.

This reel is worth a watch:

https://www.instagram.com/share/reel/_dYXZLRyQ www.instagram.com/share/reel/_dYXZLRyQ]]]]

They most certainly ARE addictive, as you say!

I walk my dog every morning along a route walked by chuildren en route to the high school. A quite astonishing number are walking along, using their phones as they go. I find it very worrying indeed.

We use Family Link. My son is 13, his phone shuts down at 2000 after which it's reading/quiet time. I personally think 2130 is far too late but each to their own. Weekends are obviously a bit more relaxed.