Sister has inherited huge wealth. Help

Hi op,

everyone can distanced themselves if they feel they need it. You can be happy for her without hurting yourself and she will understand. If she wants your support going through the sad circumstances, she can do it penniless or find herself another person to hurt.

You're all crazy, if my sister had 10 mill, she BETTER fucking be helping me out! I wouldn't expect to work again!

If her sister shares this particular attitude then I can’t imagine why she would want to give her something to talk about. Regardless of whether she liked him or not, that was the father of her child/children. Even if they didn’t like him, that doesn’t mean there won’t be complicated emotions at play.

She’s hardly blowing through it because she spent £300k on a house and car. She’s actually been quite conservative there tbh, particularly when it comes to the house.

It begs the question if siblings should routinely give money to brothers and sisters who are hard up? It’s all relative. It also shows how money divides and alienates. In one family I know a multi millionaire who offered only a loan for a house deposit.

Surely how long ago OP was bereaved makes a HUGE difference? Can’t see it anywhere. Both re: sis’s appearance to swank & apparent stinginess.

I know not a lottery win here but thinking about the crazy life changing 280 mil or so in Ireland recently. How to deal with that?

Wow what a tight sod if that was me I’d make sure my nearest and dearest at least had a nice holiday and some treats maybe she’s resentful in other ways if she’s single and you are all with someone?

It’s staggering to see how many people would feel themselves due a payday because their siblings came into money.

There’s quite the difference between freely giving without it being expected of you, and being expected to provide for those who feel they’re entitled to what you have.

I wouldn’t advise OP to drop pointed hints unless she wants to piss her sister off. If she’s inclined to ask then she can at least have the courage to do so directly.

Well OP already said it was her separated ex who passed away, so hardly any loss there?
And anyway considering she keeps calling about her purchases, why can't she give her sister something to talk about too?
Multimillions were talking about
Not a paltry million 😂

I agree ! She may even truly not realise you are struggling! Seriously some people lack awareness. You could say that you are really happy for her and how things have turned out for her, however, you are struggling (emphasise you are not asking for money, just some consideration on how it's making you feel). You never know, she may help you out or at the very least she'll know it's upsetting you

If her husband died, it would hardly be sharing in the joy.

Yabu. This level of envy will not do anything positive to your mental health. She's just been more fortunate than you. That can change.

Even if their feelings are justified, the fact that both the sister and her child are relieved about this man's passing might be considered an indirect but lasting psychological burden for them both. Not being able to grieve because of the complexities and heartbreak of toxic relationships can be as upsetting as straightforward grief.

Just to say, if it's not too trite and annoying, that money isn't everything.

Why don't people read the full thread?

I think most people who inherited that kind of money would be only too happy to help out their immediate family who were struggling. How self centred 😔

Staggering isn’t it that someone so close can be so self absorbed, mean and thoughtless? People can square things off to suit themselves. There can be such joy in giving and helping-why don’t people see this?
I would try a few comments like ‘I can’t imagine what your life is like now with all this money-it must be a very different life to the rest of us’ or ‘you know mum and dads car is on it last legs’ and see how she reacts.
I encountered something similar but it was inheritance related. My mum always said that this person always let money run through her fingers. Her partner inherited their home and she earns over £100k. She inherited hundreds of thousands and could have given me / my kids say £5k, it would have meant the world to us.
If your DS continues spending I think it will be so hard for you not to say something.

I have to say this sounds like a you problem

Somebody else tell her......🙄

How has she inherited it as your sister yet you haven't?

I think it's very sad that she doesn't do something to help her family. If I came into that sort of money I would want to give a decent amount to my family. I think it's the right thing to do but also I would enjoy helping them out.
Sadly, there are a lot of very selfish people about and your sister seems to be one of them. So you're not unreasonable to feel unhappy about it at all. It doesn't reflect well on her as a person.

Perhaps you could say to her that she could possibly invest in some property as well as help family , by buying a couple of houses and let you live in them rent free .

Her child's father has died so I think it's a bit crass to compare her inheritance to a lottery win. Even if they were separated.

It's disappointing that she doesn't want to share her wealth with the wider family, but that's her prerogative. You can choose to be envious but that will only eat away at you in the end.

I wonder if it's worth giving her an article/info about what to do when you inherit a lot of money, and what happens to sudden millionaires (like lottery winners or sports stars) who spend indiscriminately. Many go bankrupt. Frame it that you are worried about her--because someone should be.

This may not end well for her unfortunately.

You mention that you are working 2 jobs to try to get by and also help out your parents. Could you tactfully ask your sister if she could help out your parents? Say something like you are working extra / overtime so as to help them. Would she consider helping them out to take some of the pressure off you? I don't think that would be unreasonable and quite honestly it makes sense. She might say no but it's worth an ask.

Grief makes people do crazy things.
maybe her mental health isn’t good? I can’t imagine spending 300k unless for a house.

Rain it in yourself !