Sister has inherited huge wealth. Help

’Im really genuinely happy for you, but I’m struggling to maintain enthusiasm for your new sports car and holiday home because I’m eating beans on toast for dinner… again! Maybe we could talk about something else? “!

She’s your DSis so challenge her regarding the boasting, as in

“it’s hard to keep get excited about spending on luxury items when others, including our own DP are struggling with the COL.”

“Would you consider using some of the money to support them with X?” (eg their housing costs, or some other expense OP),

“I think you could really make a huge difference to them and how stressed they are”.

I wouldn’t just sit there and smile along OP!

Whilst she doesn’t have to help anyone financially if she doesn’t want to she really doesn’t need to parade it under your noses like this. If I had this kind of money I would not let my nearest and dearest struggle. The least she can do is be more discreet.

I would have to say something. If she has lost someone close then obviously I wouldn't do so immediately and there are ways to be diplomatic, but if someone can watch their own flesh and blood live in poverty whilst they indiscreetly blow through wealth that is more than enough to last them several lifetimes, then I wouldn't want to remain close to that person.

Whilst you have no expectation to receive her help, unless there is a particular reason such as the family having done something to really hurt her, or someone having an addiction or a gambling problem etc it is a pretty shitty thing to do rubbing this in people's faces who would in all probability extend their hand to her if the situation were reversed.

I'm not saying it's not a lot of money - I could live off that very comfortably! But it's not the sort of money where you can just spend spend spend without thinking for three generations. It still needs to be planned/managed quite carefully.

It also depends massively where you are. Round my parents (North London/Herts) 3M will get you a very standard 1960s suburban 4 bed house (to be knocked down and rebuilt). Where I am, 1.5M would get you a proper luxury manor house with land and half a mile of driveway.

Well considering you share the sister's view
How selfish of you!
You have multimillions and your parents and sister are struggling financially, and rather than helping them a little, you call them boasting?
Like, I get it you may be grieving a little, but as you know life goes on and your parents could do with a little helping hand.

People really care too much about feelings nowadays, no one owes anyone anything, and everybody has to be happy for everyone else, and they still have to listen to boasts?
sorry if ur gunna call to boast, its gunna cost ya🙄

Just like someone else said, wait until Xmas before you get upset. I cannot imagine ever having over 10m and not giving at least 1m to my nearest and dearest. Surely Xmas will put things in context for her. Please come back at Xmas and tell us she took you all on a round the world cruise.

I take everything back. Is she normally this selfish?
I bet your parents are in shock is she the oldest or youngest. She sounds dreadful.

Not sure you need empathy tbh, you sound like a person who is jealous of there sister and for someone who owns there own home mortgage free has 2 adults working your money is clearly going somewhere because that ain't a struggling couple.. Of your allowing money to come between you and your sister and how you feel then your love for her wasn't real anyhow!!

Totally agree, surely the joy of having a big windfall is helping out family

She's probably not really happy money doesn't make you happy it just makes things a bit easier. Although if she's spending like that millions or not it won't last long. I would personally say I don't want to know what you are spending because as a family were struggling pay day to pay day and parents struggling. Ask her say did you ever think it might be nice to gift your family/ close family a little each to help them get through tough times. I have 4 siblings and if I came into money they would all get some as would my kids step kids mother in law I could not bear to see anyone else struggling who I care about. Perhaps your sister hasn't even thought about it? If she has it's utterly selfish in my opinion.

@InterIgnis I haven’t read all the replies so I don’t know what the general consensus is. I didn’t get the impression that the OP was expecting a ‘payday’.

It’s a hard pill to swallow to watch someone spending like there is no tomorrow when you are juggling to keep the show on the road.

In my own situation someone was sending mixed messages so I asked a couple of pertinent questions. The response was very revealing and gave me a much clearer picture of what I was dealing with and what the outcome was going to be.

Ask her for a tenner

It's a you issue what do you want her to do hide it?
If you want the same relationship with her aside from money then treat her the same. It will be very difficult for her to hide her new wealth.

Is she actually slightly unhinged? I was going to say maybe grieving but actually you said he was an ogre. Maybe it's the dizziness of having the freedom that money buys.

The thing is many lottery winners end up with nothing. I'd be concerned she could make a royal mess and would be encouraging her to put some of this aside, plan for the future a bit, and pay herself an income, as this is all just going to disappear if she carries on.

I'd also be hoping she doesn't forget about me when she's living the life of riley 😂...

Be respectful to her you said sad circumstances. This might be her way of dealing with the sad times . She’s not subtle and it does hurt especially when everyone else in the family is struggling and sounds so annoying .However any large sum received by sad times must have been a big sad event not wished on anyone .
If I was you I would just avoid her and avoid conversation . Hopefully she’ll calm down or spend it all .

Your sister is lucky

Why didn't you inherit if it's from family?

So many entitled people here. It's her money, she can do what she wants with it. It's not automatically yours because you're related.

Honestly I can’t believe what I’m reading here. First of all no one knows this other women’s circumstances. Does she have a family of her own? Is the money inherited from her partner who’s died or a member of his family? If so it’s not her place to give away ANY money from someone else’s estate that was granted to her. In the will the deceased wanted the money to go to her and no one else especially not someone else’s family otherwise they would be named. If I died I’d be furious if my son’s wife family sponged off my estate for example. I would want it to go to them and them only. So what if she spends £300k, she can and we also don’t know what on? I doubt very very much she is spending £300k every day it was prob a one off on a few purchases. Why isn’t she allowed to enjoy her life? Secondly to me it just sounds like pure jealousy and you feel entitled to her money and that she should help you out. God works in mysterious ways and clearly you aren’t really genuinely happy for her otherwise you would be happy for her no matter what and not begrudge her. Had you all been happy for her perhaps god would have sent you some money your way too. Secondly if she has kids then you will be last on her list to fund. Sorry but your kids future comes first and dependant on where she lives if it’s in London then £1m will buy you a semi detached house now. I personally don’t think anyone should be commenting on this as no one knows the whole story. I suggest the lady who wrote this post to try and be happy for her sister and not let money get between there relationship. Maybe one day she will help the family out but clearly this has only just happened so is concentrating on her life and her family if she has one. You are not her kids nor does she have to look after you.

I suggest you pray to god and tell him your feelings and that you don’t want to feel this way and to help you be happy for her. This is the right thing to do . It’s for god to decide what happens next .

It’s a holiday home not a main residence I believe, but agree.

Are you joking? It’s more than enough to:

• Be mortgage free on a nice home.
• Have investments.
• Put away a tidy sum for retirement.
• Start a generous pension fund for your kids.
• Put away money to fund their university.
• Put away investments to fund their first homes.
• And do the same for any grandchildren.

Of course that’s assuming she doesn’t keep spunking 300k on sports cars and holiday homes…

This.

Also, chat gpt is super helpful for offering a kind ear. I'd ask chat gpt about it as well!!

Just tell her. If she truly is a bit lacking in the emotional quotient sector then she may need to be told very clearly: "I am happy for you but it is very hard for me and the rest of the family to hear about you spending a lot of money when we are struggling to make ends meet. Enjoy your wealth but please stop rubbing it in our faces."

I guess you never really know what being in a situation is like until it happens to you but if I was in her position I would be helping family and close friends