Sister has inherited huge wealth. Help

If you get on well with her normally, I'd say, 'Sweetheart, I can't keep pretending that I am delighted every time you burn through your new wealth when you know that me and other family members are struggling to make ends meet, exhausted from working two jobs. I haven't asked you to share your wealth - it's yours to do with as you choose, but please have a thought that when you show off a designer handbag all I can think is: shit that amount would have kept us warm all winter/kept us in groceries from now until New Year.'

Agreed. No idea what the guy’s relationship was like with their DC but I’d imagine he would want this.

I bet her child isn’t too happy about the spending either.

She's effectively won the lottery.

You know what they say about lottery win money: it's gone within a couple of years.

Your DSis sounds as though she hasn't a clue. Most people with money have either earned it with commercial nous or inherited it (from people who know how to manage it).

Having seen your update I'm less sympathetic. Shouldn't she be putting a large amount of this away for their child?

Does she know your struggling?
In the end this is not her responsibility but if she loves you she may want to help. If not and you ask, it could ruin your relationship. You have to decide what’s more important. It may be that you just have to grin and bear it. I voted YABU as it is almost impossible to say something without coming across as grabby or sour grapes. She’s just very lucky. I don’t know about bad luck in your situation. It could’ve been life choices

'Inherited under sad circumstances' could cover a range of situations and in most of them, I don't think it could really be considered a stroke of luck.

I mean, there's a big difference between an insurance payment or compensation after the death of a child or spouse and, eg, inheriting a load of cash from some ancient in-law that she didn't like that much.

Personally, if I came into a huge sum of money, I'd probably treat my family to a lump sum each... but that doesn't mean your sister has to, or should, do that if she doesn't want to.

I do think that if she's spending a lot of money, she probably shouldn't be boasting about it. Mentioning in passing that she's, say, bought a new car is fine, but making a point of phoning up just to tell you she's blown a couple of hundred grand on one is dickish.

If she’s literally inherited millions I don’t understand why she wouldn’t help out her family? Especially if you are struggling. Is there some back story? Is she always selfish?

What happened that your sister inherited such wealth whole the rest of the family didn't? Was she widowed?

If so she's entitled to go off the rails a bit.

You don’t have to feel happy or sad or anything else. You get to choose how you feel.

Ignore her and get on with living your life / accept what the fates have decided

I think the alternative paths lead to anger, resentment and madness.

Sadly, rich people often end up being isolated. I would worry that would happen to my sister too, but I expect if she was flaunting her wealth, whilst knowing I was struggling, would find it hard to be sympathetic.

If not property, I'm guessing jewellery.

This! Make polite until Boxing Day. Then let rip 🥊

Tell her.

Say
“I really want to be happy for you but I’m struggling so much financially that I’m finding it really hard to be.”

If she cares about you, she’ll rein it in. If she really cares about you, she’ll help you out.

I'm going to go against the grain and say if she has the money due to losing her husband then your jealousy and resentment, as well as your entitled expectation, aren't a good look.

This. I disagree with others that it’s acceptable for you to suggest she gives money to your parents as a way of broaching anything. It will be seen as manipulation to get money from her yourself.

I can’t imagine inheriting millions and not helping out my family.

How heartless of her.

You said ‘sad circumstances’ - what are they?

That is extraordinarily tactless of her. I earn several times more than the vast majority of my friends and relatives and have never made comments like that (they don't even know how much I earn).

I think you need to be honest and say "I love you. I am happy that you are enjoying the money so much, and know that you would rather not have inherited. But I am struggling financially, as you know, and hearing about your spending habits is hard for me."

Her money won't last long, if she spends like a nouveau riche. Before long, she'll be asking you for cash!

The absolute level of entitlement people have to other people’s money never ceases to amaze me.

Wow, I know for an absolute fact if my sis became a multimillionaire, my dps and myself wouldn't have to worry about money ever again, and vice versa...presumably you aren't very close if 1. She hasn't given you any money and 2. You can't discuss it with her

I would wait to see if she does / gives you all something extra at Xmas
If nothing or just usual bits i would try and have less contact just for your own sake.

She can do what she wants its her money but to be insensitive to family's position I def would think less of her.