Sister has inherited huge wealth. Help

That you say you think she may be on the spectrum says a lot.

Bad financial decision making is a known issue with ADHD. Not all people with ADHD have it but enough to make it a "thing" with ADHD. A close family member has ADHD and BPD (a fun combination for all concerned) and when he is manic his spending is out of control, his wife just about manages to keep on top of it but it is a struggle. She absolutely insists on keeping their finances seperate because if she didnt he would blow through her money too when he is one of those phases. Luckily it doesnt happen very often and he is happy for her to manage their finances (bill paying etc) as he knows that in that state, he wouldnt. His skint times and any debt are very much his to deal with without it affecting her as well.

So she really does need a good financial advisor to lock away as much as possible so its a lot harder for her to just spunk the lot.

So you have got children plural, and from the sound of it a DH, your sister has one child, was married to an ogre, and now doesn’t have a partner. YANBU to feel some resentment about her wealth, it’s human, but maybe try bearing in mind a bit the things you have that she doesn’t? Wealth comes in multiple different forms. If you have a happy marriage and she doesn’t, she may well have felt envious of you at times, and the same if she wanted more than one child.

FWIW 10M is nothing like enough for her child and future grandchildren never to have to worry about money. She certainly can burn through that kind of money, and potentially in a fairly short time if she's spending as you're describing.

I hope she has a good chunk of it locked away securely for her child.

My point was people turn grabby when they know you have money, and it is not always family.

She didn't win it, her ex husband and the father of her child died.

She was named in the will... OP was not.

There's a vast difference between work colleagues and your own parents! Would I bail out random work colleagues. No I bloody wouldn't. Would I help my parents and sister if I inherited ten million pounds. Yes of course, and I think the vast majority of people would too. In what world can't you help your own family without subsidising every Tom, Dick or Harry as well.

I love the idea of winning a lot of money and turning up at friend's houses and announcing that I'm giving them a life changing amount of money. Your sister is a selfish cow.

I actually think you are doing much better than you think you are. You have no mortgage and debts and you have good financial managment. If you managed to pay off your mortgage you could easily work out your expenses for an emergency fund, and then be home free to start with your own investments.

Your sister sounds like she won't be rich for long, with the way she is spending it sounds like she is depressed and trying to make herself feel better. She also doesnt sound like she has any financial literacy.

Every time she bring up her spending ask her why she does that and that you are worried she will burn through the money with no safety net. She needs a therapist and a financial advisor otherwise she will become dependent on you and that really isn't fair.

I would just ask for money. I know no ones 'entitled' to someone else's money, but how you enjoy wealth while close family are struggling is beyond me. I wouldn't care if I came accross jealous either, it's a valid situation to be enviable over (the wealth not the bereavement)

My late MIL knew her, her spend spend spend was typical of her apparently even before he won the money.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with saying to her that her new wealth, and subsequent lavish spending, is tormenting you in light of your own circumstances. It has to be said because there's no way you'll be able to stand keeping it up without reaching breaking point unless you cut off all contact.

And her dead ex's family, and their friends etc.

I have an aunt that came into money (was from a CPO of her house and land). Several of her work colleagues suddenly had financial crises. She helped... then they just kept having more reasons to ask for money.

I think I’d have to say to her that it would be nice if she could help your parents out a bit , like a pp I can’t imagine having massive wealth whilst seeing my family struggle . She doesn’t sound like someone I’d be wanting to maintain a relationship with .

stop helping her shes awful

This may sound pretty obvious, but have you asked her for money? If it was me I would. Sorry if that sounds mercenary but if she's got millions of pounds then she won't miss a few crumbs off the table for her own parents and sister.

And if his nearest and dearest also come with their hands out too? And her friends?

Death and inheritance brings out the grabby people.

If you're mortgage free with no debt she probably thinks you're quite comfortable.
And what happened to not wanting her money?
Just talk to her. She might not want to offend by offering.
Why are you doing her gardening? That's just odd.

Woahhhh @Hidinginthelootoo

10 effin million pounds!!

I would literally be dishing out help to my nearest and dearest immediately.

That sounds tough but also the fact you’ve paid off your house clearly means you can help your parents like that.

If you were still paying a mortgage you wouldn’t be able to.

Also in ops case she doesn’t mention being her parents career so in her case that’s two working adults no mortgage or rent and yet struggling which is baffling.

I have no mortgage or rent and I am struggling.

I am a carer for my parents and for that I receive the princely sum if £83 a week. I work as many hours as I am allowed (16) at NMW because to work at my previous level is 48 hour weeks minimum meaning no time for my parents. Oh and a UC top up.

No I dont have a mortgage but I also no longer have savings and every day is a struggle.

There but for the grace of [insert deity of choice] go all of us.

If she’s bereaved she might not be thinking straight. Has she got financial advice?

The OP hasn't mentioned wanting money. She just wants (from what she's said) for her sister to stop flaunting it and banging on about how much she's spent in a day and to read the room.

I wouldn’t class someone with no mortgage or rent like op as struggling 🤷🏻‍♀️

@Hidinginthelootoo If she spent £300k in one day, then she will not be wealthy for long.