Argument with DH over childcare

I think if you were sick or something out of the ordinary happened then he should skip the gym, but if it’s just that your toddler was behaving like a toddler I’d consider that as being part and parcel of being home that day.

I think he has a point in a way, if it was really your choice to be PT and this has happened before.

I may be wrong of course, but the way he's worded it implies that you have complained about staying at home with your son before.

Looking at it from a different perspective though, if either of you had a shit day and make a request like this as a one off, you would want to be supported. It should matter whether it was at work or at home.

Why are you default childcare in the evenings? Are weekends and evenings split fairly between you or does it fall to you because you work part time?

Well no he doesn’t not in relation to this as he still wants the gym - I can’t imagine he would want to stop work to collect child would he.

he is conflating two separate points simply because he does t want to miss the gym

v difficult one and actually, i think there are two separate issues:

1 Your Dh seems to feel that actually, you staying home to looka fter your DS is a "bonus" for you, and one that is costing the family money. This means he may be resentful of it. Rightly or wrongly, he sees this as you having a lovely little day with DS while he is bearing more of the financial responsibilitiy. This is also making him a bit less accomodating on other things. This needs a converation as you need to be on the same page re the benefits of working less/ nursery less.

2 Asking him to change his plans for the evening because you've had a bit of a tough day.... because of the above, he's even less willing to do this than he might otherwise be. But even without that, I think that asking someone to cancel their plans should only be when really necessary - it feels a bit spurious tha tyou've just had a bit of a day.

Not immediately, but very soon, when neither of you are annoyed about this, or anything else, you need to have a sit down chat about this.

Does DH feel there are money issues
Do you agree?
Would you earn enough to cover the additional childcare?
Do you want to?

That'a separate from any discussion you may need to have about who does what when it comes to parenting (not helping out, parenting), housework etc

Best of luck working through it!

He has a valid point