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AIBU?

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Final straw - friend always pitying me for being single

31 replies

Hannahdreamer · 06/11/2025 15:28

I’ve been single since my exH left me (cheated) nearly two years ago. All bar one of my friends seems to understand that I am currently happy single and in no rush to meet someone, but will when the time is right. I’ve two kids and am concentrating on them and my work.

One of my friends has always been a bit more forward in asking when I’m going to be dating again and seems to forget I’ve told her I’m happy single.

Anyway - I’ll get to the point. This friend and I went to a hotel which has a pool/spa yesterday. We had lunch first and I had a glass of champagne, she had two and was tipsy. She was saying over lunch that she bet she could find me someone at the spa and I told her clearly not to.

What follows, is her speaking to every man who happened to be sat near us when in the jacuzzi, steam room etc. Started along the lines of ‘can you believe she’s single and can’t find a man’ to outright asking someone probably barely older than 18 if he’d want to spend the night with me. I shut this down and apologised to him, he look petrified! My friend then said to him ‘actually, she’d eat you alive’.

I was really cross with my friend and got out of the pool area to get changed and go home. She has apologised to me over message today.

AIBU to consider ending the friendship?

OP posts:
AcquadiP · 06/11/2025 15:40

I'd be furious too. You clearly stated your wishes and she completely ignored them. I wouldn't want to continue the friendship.

CaragianettE · 06/11/2025 15:40

Ask her what’s going on. Is she unhappy in her own marriage and trying to live vicariously through you? Are there issues in your friendship as far as she’s concerned, and does she not really like you? Because telling all and sundry that you can’t find a man, and that you’d eat a man alive, is pretty aggressive behaviour, even given that she was drunk.

Honestly, it sounds to me like she’s got sex on her mind and she might be projecting.

outerspacepotato · 06/11/2025 15:35

Your so called friend doesn't abide by your stated boundaries and doesn't take no for an answer. Both are big red flags in relationships and a friendship is a relationship.

Yes, I'd end the friendship over those.

Wishimaywishimight · 06/11/2025 15:33

If this is the only incident, annoying and patronising as it is, I would not (yet) end the friendship. I would point out that you were embarrassed by her behaviour and by her refusal to listen to you when you tell her you are happy single.

I can't stand when people think they know what I want/need more than I do so if it happens again I would back right away from the friendship.

youalright · 06/11/2025 15:31

I never understand people like this are they so miserable in there own lives that they have so much focus on other people's.

QuenchedSquirrel · 06/11/2025 15:29

She's no friend.

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