Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Has anyone been bullied for having a teen mum?

104 replies

Vixxyvixen · 06/11/2025 14:14

Has anyone been bullied because their mother was in her mid teens when they were born? In a class of 30 are there likely to be many others with mums that young?

OP posts:
Whatsmyusername94 · 07/11/2025 10:58

I think adults are more judgemental about this than children are.

dizzydizzydizzy · 07/11/2025 10:34

fruitj · 06/11/2025 14:19

I was not a teen mum, but live in an area / send my child to a school where I am one of, if not the youngest mum in the class.
Both my kids seem to think having the youngest mum is a cool thing, if anything.

I can remember at primary school being very pleased that I had one of the youngest mums. DM was 24 when she had me.

rzm · 07/11/2025 10:26

Ponoka7 · 07/11/2025 10:15

My DD had her first at 18, she had her second two years later and her DP went off the scene. It's the parents who have tried to make digs. My DD makes sure that she is at the sports day and smashes the Mum's race. Teens will use anything to insult each other (if that way inclined) it shouldn't be happening in primary and needs shutting down if it starts. I think a few older parents do envy the childcare my DD has, because I'm young enough to even take my GC on holiday, so is my sister and my eldest has chosen to be childfree, but likes to lend her DNs. Anyone who has any sense knows it's the quality of the parenting and hopefully the support of wider family that matters.

Oh yes it’s the other parents that are often problem. I’ve found that some people are very chippy and insecure about parental age, and young parents really bear the brunt of that. I’ve also had a lot of “you are so lucky” comments later in life coming out the other side of the tricky elements of it, once you’ve ticked those other boxes of home ownership, career, marriage etc you are in the same position, but younger.

BertieBotts · 07/11/2025 10:20

Never been an issue for DS1. It's me who gets surprised comments rather than him. His friends/classmates don't really care who someone's parents are. "Your mum" jokes are not about the actual mum (despite inbetweeners!)

I had him at age 20 and have been out of step with other parents at every stage. Been mistaken for his sibling, a nanny, etc. I had DS2 and 3 at age 30/33 and felt totally normal.

Girasoli · 07/11/2025 10:19

We are (according to DS who is 9, so not sure how accurate it is), apparently the youngest parents in his class. We were 27 and 28 when he was born! He thinks this is very cool.

Once your DC get old enough to notice age properly they will probably see you as young and cool!

Flipthrfhxsd · 07/11/2025 10:17

No , it’s very rare it’s mentioned.

I struggled making friends with older mums - just different life stages.

YenneferOfVengerburg · 07/11/2025 10:16

Children bully for anything and everything

Old mum, young mum, rich parents, poor parents, blonde hair, red hair, freckles, no freckles, fat, thin, anything

Ponoka7 · 07/11/2025 10:15

My DD had her first at 18, she had her second two years later and her DP went off the scene. It's the parents who have tried to make digs. My DD makes sure that she is at the sports day and smashes the Mum's race. Teens will use anything to insult each other (if that way inclined) it shouldn't be happening in primary and needs shutting down if it starts. I think a few older parents do envy the childcare my DD has, because I'm young enough to even take my GC on holiday, so is my sister and my eldest has chosen to be childfree, but likes to lend her DNs. Anyone who has any sense knows it's the quality of the parenting and hopefully the support of wider family that matters.

ThirdStorm · 07/11/2025 10:07

No. I'm a product of "young mums" and I'm winning at life that I've got such a young mum and grandparents who are all fit, healthy and agile! :)

Dramatic · 07/11/2025 09:31

Vixxyvixen · 06/11/2025 17:15

Anyone who had a young mum under 17? Did anyone say anything to you when you were in school?

I was 17 when I had my first, she's 18 now and never had any bullying for it, in fact all her friends seemed to think it was cool that she had a young mum

rzm · 07/11/2025 09:24

MightyGoldBear · 07/11/2025 09:21

I was 23 when I had my first but looked about 15. I'd often be asked is my mum or dad home in my own home 😂

At primary school it's always been fine they just see you as a adult. At secondary school it was seen as cool to have a younger parent much more so than an older one. One boy got teased that his dad was a OAP.

What I find now mine are older and I work in a professional environment is that everyone thinks I’m much older than I am because they can’t comprehend that I am professionally and financially successful but had kids at 22 😆

Clonakilla · 07/11/2025 09:23

BettysRoasties · 06/11/2025 17:30

Yes tbh this is more likely. Also jealous comments about how cool it must be that your mums so young and cool.

Really? To young children someone 16 years older than them is ancient surely.

It seems very odd indeed that a child who thinks a 42 yr old will probably die soon thinks any adult is young and hip.

MightyGoldBear · 07/11/2025 09:21

I was 23 when I had my first but looked about 15. I'd often be asked is my mum or dad home in my own home 😂

At primary school it's always been fine they just see you as a adult. At secondary school it was seen as cool to have a younger parent much more so than an older one. One boy got teased that his dad was a OAP.

Vixxyvixen · 07/11/2025 09:21

UninitendedShark · 07/11/2025 09:16

I don’t think women can win. We are either too young or too old. Kids don’t really notice these things imo, but are more likely influenced by comments other parents make.

Thats true I remember when my brother was getting picked on for having an old mum, our mum said she thought the bully must of heard comments from his own mum about my mum. I’m sure the other parents talk about me or at least used to so it’s got me a little paranoid

OP posts:
rzm · 07/11/2025 09:18

In my experience kids are more likely to mock those with older parents than younger. That doesn’t seemed to have changed much considering parents are getting older and teen parents fewer, also seems odd now older parents seem younger over all, not wearing sweater vests and tight perms at 45!

UninitendedShark · 07/11/2025 09:16

I don’t think women can win. We are either too young or too old. Kids don’t really notice these things imo, but are more likely influenced by comments other parents make.

Vixxyvixen · 07/11/2025 09:16

WhiteBlankets · 07/11/2025 09:13

Respectfully, that says a lot about your area.

In my area it seems most people have kids at a bog standard age 20s or 30s outside of that you sort of stick out like a sore thumb. My mother had my brother at 42 and he had all the “she’s going to die soon” comments

OP posts:
Sartre · 07/11/2025 09:15

I was a teen mum and now have teens in my early 30s. I’m always the youngest parent by at least ten years, usually closer to twenty years tbh. I don’t really care, nor do DC. It’s only been commented on when parents ages have generally been discussed and people have said wow your mum is so young! But that’s literally it.

WhiteBlankets · 07/11/2025 09:13

BettysRoasties · 06/11/2025 17:19

Most children just don’t want people thinking their mum is their granny.

More than worrying that someone might think mums their older sister.

Never known a child to be picked on for young parents. Have known a few for having parents that were in their 60’s while in secondary school. Some rather mean comments about them dying and stuff like that. Not nice.

Respectfully, that says a lot about your area.

Vixxyvixen · 07/11/2025 09:08

ChatBotBelly · 06/11/2025 23:58

By the time they start school how would they know.
I was pregnant at 16, in my 20’s when child started school. Late 20’s when they started secondary.
I love being the young parent. My kids are shocked that some of their friends have parents in their 50’s. They see that as nan age.

That’s reassuring maybe I’m just overthinking things x

OP posts:
Vixxyvixen · 07/11/2025 06:12

Crushed23 · 07/11/2025 03:20

Me neither.

Surely by the time the children are in school, the teen mum is no longer a teen but in her 20s? Unless she was REALLY young when she had a baby, like 13-14?

Either way, to a small child, someone in their 20s is as ancient as someone in their 30s. If you were born before Covid, you’re a dinosaur.

Yeah I was 20 when dc was 4 and looked a few years younger than I was I’m sure the parents used to talk about me when dc was in reception. Yes dc is halfway through primary school now and I’m old news to the parents but dc is approaching the age my little brother was when he was picked on for our mum being older

OP posts:
NextOneb · 07/11/2025 03:49

I think the only negative connotation of having a teen mum, are general ones like sleeping around or the having kids out of wedlock stigma. But as others have said, a teen mum isn’t going to be a teen by the time her child is school aged. So no one at her child’s school is going to see her as a “teen mum”. In fact I don’t think anyone is going to try and do the math to work out how old someone’s mum was during conception.

NextOneb · 07/11/2025 03:47

I actually think in the world of school pupils, having old parents is much more embarrassing.

I’m in my 20s and when I was in school, the people who were popular had young, wealthy parents. They helped their kids keep up with fashion, paid for them to go to concerts of popular artists or other events, go on holidays regularly, had nice houses/bedrooms etc. Everything was driven by social media. So attractive parents who had cool social media of their own, led to more popular kids. They were seen as “more special.”

Meanwhile if your parents were the opposite, you were more likely to be bullied or more commonly - seen as unremarkable. I also think kids just generally have a different sense of the age of middle aged people too, they might think someone’s older parent is an OAP or grandparent, as opposed to a parent of someone the same age as them.

Crushed23 · 07/11/2025 03:20

DuckboardandTowel · 06/11/2025 17:27

Never heard of anyone being bullied because their mum was a teenage mum.
Do you mean actual bullying or a one off comment because sometimes children have no tact or filters.
Also, why are you asking? Is your child in this situation?

Me neither.

Surely by the time the children are in school, the teen mum is no longer a teen but in her 20s? Unless she was REALLY young when she had a baby, like 13-14?

Either way, to a small child, someone in their 20s is as ancient as someone in their 30s. If you were born before Covid, you’re a dinosaur.

CraftyNavySeal · 07/11/2025 00:06

When I was at school there were a few kids whose mums would have been teens when they were born but to us all adults were old.

In secondary school my friends dad had his 30th birthday and we just saw adult man. It wasn’t until later I did the maths and realised!

Swipe left for the next trending thread