Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Southport killer enabled by father

287 replies

crowsfeet57 · 06/11/2025 12:00

The evidence given by the school and the social worker highlighted how Axel Rudakubana's deteriorating behaviour was blamed on everyone else by his father. Now the father's own evidence is damning. surely this man should be charged as an accessory to the murders which he had many chances to prevent.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c20e8qd5d53t

Southport killer's father says he should have told police about son's machete delivery

Alphonse Rudakubana tells the inquiry he believes the 29 July attack would not have happened had he told the authorities.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/live/c20e8qd5d53t

OP posts:
Instructions · 13/04/2026 19:55

JHound · 13/04/2026 19:51

I am confused “benefit payments”? Does this mean child benefit is stopped if your child is truant.

No, child benefit is not stopped if your child is truant.

JHound · 13/04/2026 19:52

Autumngirl5 · 13/04/2026 19:43

I find it hard to blame the family as we are looking at the situation with hindsight which they didn’t have. They were very frightened of him. There was that awful case a few weeks ago where that young man battered and stabbed his mother to death after keeping her shut in the house so it is very difficult to put yourself in their position.
My heart goes out to the little girls family though … it is heartbreaking.

I think the judge tried to make allowance for that. He said in his statements that it is very easy to look at things with the benefit of hindsight and has even with considering that they failed remarkably.

JHound · 13/04/2026 19:51

Supersimkin7 · 13/04/2026 19:38

Mom & Dad enabled AR crucially - without them, he couldn’t have killed.

Small examples of how the parents stopped AR getting help:

Daddy was so physically aggressive to the psychiatrist trying to treat AR that she had to be replaced by a male doctor. Huge delay, no treatment.

Daddy refused to cooperate with psych medics or set boundaries with AR, resulting in treatment failing.

Daddy threatened school staff in person and via email (lots) when they wouldn’t allow AR back in for a repeat stab attempt.

Mom and Dad allowed AR to truant from new school but asked that he be kept on their attendance register so they could carry on getting AR’s benefit payments.

Mummy stopped social workers seeing AR again and again. She just barred the doorway. Shouted, etc..

After AR went on the bus with a knife aiming to kill and the police took
him home, mummy treated him to Macdonalds.

Parents bought and paid for the weapons.

AR never threatened or laid a finger on them - he needed them alive.

I am confused “benefit payments”? Does this mean child benefit is stopped if your child is truant.

Autumngirl5 · 13/04/2026 19:43

I find it hard to blame the family as we are looking at the situation with hindsight which they didn’t have. They were very frightened of him. There was that awful case a few weeks ago where that young man battered and stabbed his mother to death after keeping her shut in the house so it is very difficult to put yourself in their position.
My heart goes out to the little girls family though … it is heartbreaking.

Supersimkin7 · 13/04/2026 19:38

MD2020and10LambertandButlerPlease · 06/11/2025 12:12

I don't think he should be charged.

It almost sounds like an abusive relationship where he was scared of his son and thought only he would get hurt.

I feel sorry for him.

Mom & Dad enabled AR crucially - without them, he couldn’t have killed.

Small examples of how the parents stopped AR getting help:

Daddy was so physically aggressive to the psychiatrist trying to treat AR that she had to be replaced by a male doctor. Huge delay, no treatment.

Daddy refused to cooperate with psych medics or set boundaries with AR, resulting in treatment failing.

Daddy threatened school staff in person and via email (lots) when they wouldn’t allow AR back in for a repeat stab attempt.

Mom and Dad allowed AR to truant from new school but asked that he be kept on their attendance register so they could carry on getting AR’s benefit payments.

Mummy stopped social workers seeing AR again and again. She just barred the doorway. Shouted, etc..

After AR went on the bus with a knife aiming to kill and the police took
him home, mummy treated him to Macdonalds.

Parents bought and paid for the weapons.

AR never threatened or laid a finger on them - he needed them alive.

JHound · 13/04/2026 19:28

5MinuteArgument · 13/04/2026 16:16

Yes, I suspect the fear of being accused of racism played a part in the inaction of the agencies involved. Likewise with Valdo Calicane, the Nottingham killer. These two should have been indefinitely detained from a young age.

But people in the public sector would rather put the public in danger than run the risk of being called racist. I worked in the public sector so this mindset is familiar.

(Not everyone in the public sector is like this, but the fear of being accused of racism is real).

Edited

There is no fear of being seen as racist by authorities. It’s often used as an excuse but the data suggests otherwise.

JHound · 13/04/2026 19:25

Ponoka7 · 13/04/2026 14:56

There was a stark difference in the way AR's parents were sympathetised with and the Mother of the 13 year old, who stupidly joined a riot, was talked about. She was castigataged across the press, on here and by the judge in court, as is typical of how single, poorer, white mothers are viewed, no appreciation of her possible struggles. Yet the parents of a mass murderer, who ignored what was in the packages and left their son to it? Nothing but excuses.

Where have you seen that? I have seen criticism of all the parents you mention and next to no sympathy.

JHound · 13/04/2026 19:24

DeftGoldHedgehog · 13/04/2026 14:51

If the family had told the police about the weapons what would they have done anyway? Said they are very sorry but they have to wait for a crime to be committed?

They already returned him to his family after he committed an arrestable offence. The police were not interested and neither was anyone else interested in helping the family.

But then at least the parents could have tried. I think it’s past time we called out parents who fail in their basic duties like this.

JHound · 13/04/2026 19:17

OnlyOnAFriday · 13/04/2026 14:34

In the USA the parents would probably be facing jail time.

Really? I am not sure there stance is that different to ours. I only recall one instance recently where the father was held accountable in the USA for his son’s shooting.

igelkott2026 · 13/04/2026 19:15

There are different facts coming out on this thread than there are in newspapers.

But Merseyside Police is now reviewing the inquiry notes and will reconsider whether to refer to the CPS. From my limited knowledge, it does seem like they have a case to answer in court, even if they are ultimately found not guilty.

Thekidsarefightingagain · 13/04/2026 18:50

LVhandbagsatdawn · 13/04/2026 15:23

There have been several threads in recent weeks where mothers are being subjected to abuse at the hands of their children (some with SEN, some not) and they're basically told on those threads "there is no help, have you tried doing X routine or making them a sensory room". I don't mean to be flippant, but the facts are that there is very little help available.

I can only imagine that had ARs parents posted here they would have had very similar advice.

It is always easy to criticise with the benefit of hindsight and with no emotional attachment to the killer - his parents were in a situation few of us could ever comprehend.

In Adrian Fulfords own words, the parents were met with a "merry-go-round of referrals, assessments, case-closures and hand-offs".

Until there are better options for those who have children like AR (and I mean things like more available secure residential care units, not a home visit every month), then this sort of incident risks a repeat.

This is very true. People say that you have to be in crisis to get help. That's no longer true, you get no support in crisis.

Parents are often told that it's a boundaries issue. This can lead to escalation of violence yet the parents were still expected to do this even though it was unsafe. It can be very dangerous if a child has MH difficulties to take this approach.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 13/04/2026 16:25

In these situations they always are. If not enabled they’re excused, hidden, hopeful for a good outcome.
Services also enabled him, it wasn’t his first known attempt at extreme violence.
Even when families want to help, the support isn’t available until after the crime.

5MinuteArgument · 13/04/2026 16:22

KimuraTan · 13/04/2026 15:10

I read the BBC coverage of the inquiry and it‘s quite clear how the killer’s family kept crucial information quiet (mother denies seeing the knives but her fingerprints were found on one of the blade packagings), father worried that AR „will be taken away“ if they paint the true picture of the extent of their sons mental state.

Those parents have the blood of three young girls on their hands. As do the authorities who did nothing to stop this happening. More children killed and yet again - no one from social services to police actually gets held accountable - absolutely shameful.

I agree. It's a repeat of the Valdo Calicane case and I doubt it will be the last.

5MinuteArgument · 13/04/2026 16:16

Hoppinggreen · 06/11/2025 12:23

I sit on Px Panels and I remember one young man of around 13 being in front of us after many many incidents. His parents blamed everyone other than his son and accused us of all sorts, especially racism. His father said he never went anywhere other than home and the mosque while he sat there and smirked.
The boy was heavily involved with gangs and was a bloody nightmare - he had been accused of having a knife at school but refused to be searched, while they wre waiting for The Police his father arrived and said he would search his son. He took the knife and hid it in his own pocket (seen by The Head) and then declared there was no knife and the school was "racist"
The Deputy Head said he would not be surprised if that boy did stab someone one day.
I get wanting to protect your son but there should be limits

Yes, I suspect the fear of being accused of racism played a part in the inaction of the agencies involved. Likewise with Valdo Calicane, the Nottingham killer. These two should have been indefinitely detained from a young age.

But people in the public sector would rather put the public in danger than run the risk of being called racist. I worked in the public sector so this mindset is familiar.

(Not everyone in the public sector is like this, but the fear of being accused of racism is real).

Alexandra2001 · 13/04/2026 15:37

PolyVagalNerve · 07/11/2025 19:41

Exactly - they don’t strike me as family trying to get help for their son …..

Whilst thats true, AR also came into contact with child MH services and they did little to help.

Its not helpful to blame the parents, for what is a very sorry state of affairs within NHS MH services.

Remember this is on top of the Nottingham murders where 3 other victims were let down by the state.

LVhandbagsatdawn · 13/04/2026 15:23

There have been several threads in recent weeks where mothers are being subjected to abuse at the hands of their children (some with SEN, some not) and they're basically told on those threads "there is no help, have you tried doing X routine or making them a sensory room". I don't mean to be flippant, but the facts are that there is very little help available.

I can only imagine that had ARs parents posted here they would have had very similar advice.

It is always easy to criticise with the benefit of hindsight and with no emotional attachment to the killer - his parents were in a situation few of us could ever comprehend.

In Adrian Fulfords own words, the parents were met with a "merry-go-round of referrals, assessments, case-closures and hand-offs".

Until there are better options for those who have children like AR (and I mean things like more available secure residential care units, not a home visit every month), then this sort of incident risks a repeat.

Swiftie1878 · 13/04/2026 15:11

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 06/11/2025 12:14

The man sounded scared out of his wits. Terrified of his own son.

Plenty of people and agencies were informed. No one did anything. It’s not just down to him.

Well there’s been a full public enquiry which will have considered everything and it reached the conclusion that his parents were largely to blame. I don’t know why those of us with much less information would dispute that?

KimuraTan · 13/04/2026 15:10

PolyVagalNerve · 07/11/2025 12:30

Rubbish
the inquiry is highlighting that the family obstructed services and withheld information -

SEN families clearly do struggle to access appropriate services and services are shockingly inadequate

but

it is also true that this family got in the way of services doing their jobs

that makes the family accountable for what happened

I read the BBC coverage of the inquiry and it‘s quite clear how the killer’s family kept crucial information quiet (mother denies seeing the knives but her fingerprints were found on one of the blade packagings), father worried that AR „will be taken away“ if they paint the true picture of the extent of their sons mental state.

Those parents have the blood of three young girls on their hands. As do the authorities who did nothing to stop this happening. More children killed and yet again - no one from social services to police actually gets held accountable - absolutely shameful.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 13/04/2026 15:07

atmywitsend1989 · 06/11/2025 15:04

I feel chills every time I hear about the Southport killings. I'm not trying to make it about me and my heart aches for the families of the victims but my son has multiple Prevent referrals & I remember twice trying to bribe him to shower. To think that any quiet teenage boy with a lot of issues could do this is sickening.

and the parents should have 100% called the police earlier. I'm not even sure how the machete arrived at their house without age verification/ID

And the parents should have 100% called the police earlier

THEY DID.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 13/04/2026 15:04

yesterdaytoday · 06/11/2025 22:33

And signed for, no less. The faux naivety on this thread is sickening.

The naivety is of people not knowing how little help there is out there for parents who need it. Often none at all.

Netcurtainnelly · 13/04/2026 14:57

How awful. So easy to have sex and bring a child into the world
Actually bringing them up and managing them is another story.

A great advert for not having any children this is and other crimes like this

DeftGoldHedgehog · 13/04/2026 14:56

Soukmyfalafel · 07/11/2025 12:24

Really horrible and insensitive thread.

He asked for help several times and didn't get it, so he knew there was a problem. If you have ever dealt with SEND services you will know that blaming parents or saying 'didn't engage' is an easy way to keep your caseload down. Not blaming the professionals, because there is only so much they can do and they are not resourced enough for demand. It just shows that there wasn't a clear and proactive escalation pathway, and if the professionals didn't know it, how did you expect his father to?

You really should only comment on what you understand. You only see a snippets the situation from a news report.

This.

Ponoka7 · 13/04/2026 14:56

There was a stark difference in the way AR's parents were sympathetised with and the Mother of the 13 year old, who stupidly joined a riot, was talked about. She was castigataged across the press, on here and by the judge in court, as is typical of how single, poorer, white mothers are viewed, no appreciation of her possible struggles. Yet the parents of a mass murderer, who ignored what was in the packages and left their son to it? Nothing but excuses.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 13/04/2026 14:55

EilonwyWithRedGoldHair · 06/11/2025 22:48

When my autistic son was having multiple violent meltdowns a day, and I was covered in bruises, I was referred to primary care mental health services for stress.

They told me to try mindfullness.

This. It's an absolutely fucking shitshow out there with public services.

Viviennemary · 13/04/2026 14:53

PolishWojtek · 13/04/2026 13:22

The inquiry seems to hold the family to blame in part

Yes. I heard some of the comments today. The person leading was very critical of the parents and the agencies involved. He said the school, who he praised did the right thing in expellinig him. He frequently took knives to school. This was reported to the police and nothing was done. A huge failure all round. Attiudes need to change.

Swipe left for the next trending thread