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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is this strange or not?

143 replies

Sillyjumble · 05/11/2025 19:26

I should start by saying that I was groomed by a neighbour at 12 years old. To deal with this I have been seeing a specialist counsellor.

Last week I mentioned that my niece (11) is going on holiday alone with her uncle. They have been on lots of holiday together.

My counsellor has said that this is weird. And questioned why a 49 year old single man with no kids wants to go on holiday with an 11 year old (started holidaying together at 7 years old).

Would I be unreasonable to say something, maybe ask my niece questions? I don't want to start a massive argument where ultimately I'll be shunned. I've never had reason to question this, but my counsellor pointed out that this is how children get abused. My head is a mess tonight.

OP posts:
Missj25 · 05/11/2025 19:52

LemograssLollipop · 05/11/2025 19:46

Whose daughter is the niece?
You said the Uncle is your brother who has no kids of his own.

Yeah whose daughter is your neice & how come her parents think it’s fine ?
I would find it very strange if my 49 year old brother wanted to take my daughter on his own on holiday ..
Well I’d never allow it being honest ..

SilverPink · 05/11/2025 19:52

I do find that strange. Why doesn’t he have friends/partners to holiday with if he wants the company?

Original poster
Sillyjumble · 05/11/2025 19:52

@Owly11 I guess they see it as harmless and both have jobs that take up a lot of their time. Uncle has always been in niece's life since she was born.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sillyjumble · 05/11/2025 19:49

@LemograssLollipop she is another one of my siblings children

OP posts:
Owly11 · 05/11/2025 19:48

Without any explanatory context, yes it's very weird especially if the uncle is doing it for his own need for company. Why do her parents let the uncle take her away?

Newsenmum · 05/11/2025 19:48

So is her dad or mum’s brother? What do rhey do on holiday? It’s incredibly weird and Im so sorry.

Original poster
Sillyjumble · 05/11/2025 19:47

@FlorenceAndTheVagine I really don't know, we aren't that close. As far as I know he wasn't abused.

OP posts:
LemograssLollipop · 05/11/2025 19:46

Whose daughter is the niece?
You said the Uncle is your brother who has no kids of his own.

FlorenceAndTheVagine · 05/11/2025 19:44

Was your brother also abused or witness to abuse? I’m sorry to say (as I’m sure you know) that these things are cyclical, although it could of course be totally innocent.

Original poster
Sillyjumble · 05/11/2025 19:42

@PinkFrogss yes I'm feeling a bit annoyed at the therapist because she said if I don't ask my niece questions I'll blame myself if it comes out in the future.

OP posts:
AllTheWatersTurnedToClouds · 05/11/2025 19:41

I'm in the 'that's weird' camp too. I hope we're all wrong though.

Member984815 · 05/11/2025 19:40

It is weird in my eyes, I'd imagine your counsellor has more experience of spotting these things because of the line of work they are in . It could all be innocent but I think I'd be questioning it .

Original poster
Sillyjumble · 05/11/2025 19:40

@londongirl12 he said it's just for company. There aren't going for specific events or places. To be honest, until today I 100% see this as a normal thing to do. Yes my DB.

OP posts:
icallshade · 05/11/2025 19:39

Sorry for what you've been through OP.
I have luckily had a non-abusive childhood but as a mum this screams weird to me.

Original poster
Sillyjumble · 05/11/2025 19:37

@willsandnoodle I'm sorry for you too. I guess previous experience does put people on high alert.

OP posts:
PinkFrogss · 05/11/2025 19:36

Why do they go on holiday together?

I don’t think it was appropriate for your therapist to say “this is how children get abused” and put it on you like that

londongirl12 · 05/11/2025 19:34

Yes it’s not normal, but what’s the reason they go on holiday alone together? Not everyone abuses kids.

edit : sorry that came across blunt. I just mean if they go off and do a hobby or something, is it just a family relationship? Is he your brother?

willsandnoodle · 05/11/2025 19:30

Sorry for what you’ve experienced. I think it’s weird and I wouldn’t allow that for my child. But as someone who has been through some stuff, I’m not sure if that’s the normal way to think or just because of my own experiences with me. But my instincts tell me that the child is at risk.

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