Is this strange or not?

Tbh I don't envy the position you are in,
But safeguarding is everyone's responsibility.
How do u not see this as a red flag?

Not many men even enjoy spending time with kids, even their own, men often run away from responsibility

If something happens, you can pat yourself on the back and say, but not all men are abusers.
I mean how many more red flags do u need?

1. Middle aged man goes on business trips, takes his 11 year old female neice with him for company.
2. The trips are over night.
3. They share a family room at night.

Like, as a female adult I wouldn't even choose to take a child with me on business trips, like how is that even nice?

It's weird because he's a man. It's not sexist, it's just that almost all sexual crimes against children are committed by men. I think women personally have a natural instinct to be suspicious of a lone man wanting to hang around a young girl for company. Your therapist is wrong to put this on you and make you feel guilty though.

He might never do any think weird at all, he may enjoy seeing her in various stages of undress, that is very possible considering that he's sleeps in the same room overnight with her, I actually find it unbelievable and ridiculous.

When my own neices come over, if there's only one or 2 of them, they share with my daughter, but more than 2, I get my daughter to share with me and give the neices my daughter's room.

How is this sharing a bedroom going to work when she hits puberty?

Safeguarding is everyone's responsibility. It's about ensuring nothing ever happens.
And I'm sorry but, how on earth do u think that it's ok for an uncle to take his 11 year old niece away on holiday, and share a bedroom at night?!

Like I'm sorry but all of you are neglectful and strange.
And tbh even with an aunt I would find that a little bit odd, like if they were 2 children? Fair enough but I wouldn't ever send 1 child off alone, children are vulnerable!

I find it so concerning!
Nothing might've happened yet
But maybe it's slow grooming who knows, maybe he's a peeping tom, and that's enough for him, who knows!

No idea but it's just not usual male behaviour is it? I honestly don't get it, go away on a business trip and get lumbered with an 11 year old female neice?!
And to make it worse, this is not an uncle being a nice uncle and taking a a neice out for a day trip, this is an overnight trip!
What the actual h is going on?

It's a tricky one as I have had such warped experiences with men (not relatives tho) that you're right, it puts us on high alert - and yet I would want my brother to take my son on a trip because they would be interested in the same sort of things (hiking etc.) and I trust him completely. But it's different with the same sex. You do start to ask what has a grown man has got in common with an 11yr old girl. Even today I'd feel far more comfortable going away with my Auntie over my Uncle.
Does he have any Nephews that he treats the same?
I don't think it hurts to show an interest in their holidays, asking what she got up to etc. and just see her reaction. There might be some giveaway signs if there was something wrong.

Your therapist should never have suggested that to you, it's actually sick to put those thoughts in your head about your own brother. He's 49 and probably well aware now that he's missed the boat in having his own children, so maybe taking your niece on these various experiences helps compensate for that. I think, at his age, that sounds much more likely, taking into consideration that you're all close and nobody has ever been suspicious of him before.

This is what I was going to ask you. If they've been a steady and frequent presence in each other's lives, it makes sense.

I bonded closely with my nieces while they were young. I'm the childfree aunt, was very close to their parents, definitely had no suspect motives!

It would primarily be the abusers 'fault', it sounds like you have left over feelings about not being protected enough by your parents.

I was taken on holiday by my grandad, there was no abuse. I love being away with my granddaughter, but because I'm a woman no-one points fingers. My eldest, childfree DD has my grandchildren a lot, her partner often has then alone, seven is the ideal age because they can take themselves to the toilet, change underwear and put them in a washing bag etc. I've (and we've) been lucky that we've had caring, hands-on men in our lives. I'd want to be close enough to my DN that we could chat. Doing crafts and chatting is an ideal situation. "What do you like in school?" "Do you like PE" "what about getting changed", then that leads to " I suppose you get yourself dressed on holiday with Uncle X". "Do you get scared away from home" etc. That prompts if they cuddle in bed etc.

"Personally I've always considered their trips as innocent'

That is OP's gut reaction. Her (not very good therapist) has put some negative burden on her.

She can be vigilant, as we should all be, but the parents seem close to sibling, no other evidence and this seems to have been borne out of the OPs therapist who should be there to deal with her own trauma. Not put these suggestions into her head.

You’ve talked to yours mother’s friend about this?

Or did she comment of her accord?

Your poor brother. This is insane.

This is insane. I am extremely close to my siblings, we all spend a lot of time together as a family. As a result, they have a close relationship with my children.
I know my siblings like the back of my hand and would trust them with my children’s lives. There must be some people on here with fucked up families to be suspicious of this. It’s really sad.

ETA no offence to you OP, I think the therapist has been really unprofessional inappropriate in sharing this opinion with you and you’ve been triggered based off your own experiences 💐

You need a new therapist.

The only thing that is weird about this scenario is you are suggesting your brother is potentially a child sex offender. Based on zero evidence.

If my sibling thought this about me because I took her child on holiday I would be absolutely heartbroken and horrified in equal measure.

Exactly. Batshit.

I agree. Bonkers.

Are men not allowed to love and care for their nieces but women are?

I was going to say this. I know a family whereby the brother and his wife have a daughter, now aged 16. His sister was unmarried and childless, and is now aged 50. She has taken the niece on many holidays over the years as it’s company for her and because she loves her niece. It also provides a week or 2 of childcare to the parents in the holidays. They also go away with their daughter. I don’t know anyone that would say this was weird.

As a man I’ve had strange looks when taking my daughter out, or if we were going into a hotel together, espically when I was in my 30’s and she was in her teens, young dad.

OP, I must say your therapist sounds awful.

It’s definitely weird and I think the therapist is thinking of the wellbeing of the child which I would do first and foremost as a mother. She sees it as a red flag and so do I. Ask your niece first asap. Good luck and sorry it’s triggering xxxx

This and she needs to be reported to her professional body

No it doesn't. As I said to that poster, you must be very naive and deluded if you think a middle aged man taking an 11 year old girl on holiday (alone) is the same a middle aged woman doing the same. I mean, really?! You can't be serious.

I don’t understand why it’s weird for an uncle to take a niece on holiday? I am 47 and I take my nephew on holiday. Why would that be an issue? I enjoy spending time with him and would be devastated if people were saying it was weird.