Cantbloodyrememberthenameonthread ·
05/11/2025 17:38
I’ve posted before about my ex kicking up a fuss over maintenance linked to other threads hence the name change.
I’ve finally bit the bullet today and filed for child maintenance. I’ve let him know. He’s royally kicked off.
background - he claims to have given me X amount up front for X years (it was from equity of our house sale which I was entitled to but didn’t do legally for a number of reasons). He backtracked the amount, reduced my equity, then when I protested said he’d “top it up” to the original figure but it was to be classed as a lump sum for maintenance. I explained at the time it didn’t make sense legally or morally but just let it be after an extremely stressful house sale.
this was earlier in the year, due to a number of reasons I’m now physically having to claim to support dc. I’ve let him know today after speaking to my solicitor and all hell has broke loose. Swearing at me, telling me I’m a joke, cheeky, grabby etc. he’s a high earner going through mortgage process for new house after we sold ours, says I’ve fucked it for him with regards to affordability. Apparently his family warned him I’d do this. It ended in him telling me to fuck off and putting the phone down. He then text saying how much am I expecting so I sent him the screenshot of the calculator. I also asked if he’d rather sort between each other or go through their route. He ignored this and replied “just wow” to the amount. Imo he can afford it. Say for arguments sake he earns circa 5k pm after tax. Maintenance works out about 500. Then he also has a decent amount deposit from the house sale equity to put towards new place (but that’s neither here nor there. DC back with me today just went to collect and he ignored me took dc inside while I gathered things from porch and shut the door on me without saying a word. As he’s ignored my text I’ve now filed online. When speaking earlier it sounds as though he’s thinking of contesting it or something. He said “well good luck because they’ll send me a letter first and I can’t afford it”
i have “cost him money” over the years with my own problems that he’s essentially bailed me out of when we were together. However to me this bears no relevance on maintenance for DC.
my old fashioned mum thinks because he has DC 2-3 nights a week it’s not fair on him to have to pay but she can see why I now need to claim (long history of having to second guess myself with dm)
AIBU to think I’m in the right here?