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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think gentle parenting has made some kids unbearable to be around?

619 replies

KindButFirmFox · 05/11/2025 16:58

Boundaries aren’t oppression.
Sometimes “gentle” just looks like “ineffective”.

AIBU to think balance has been lost between empathy and discipline?

OP posts:
Chillithai · 06/11/2025 18:33

Horsie · 06/11/2025 18:14

Yes, I'm a big hairy six foot man with huge muscles and a protruding lower jaw!

You're being ridiculous. I have made numerous concessions and caveats on this thread, all of which are ignored, and I'm not going to debate with you any longer. Have a good day.

I thought you’d flounced from discussing with @Barnbrack ?

Horsie · 06/11/2025 18:33

Chillithai · 06/11/2025 18:24

You spend a great deal on mumsnet threads
talking about your views on parenting
dozens and dozens and dozens of times

when all your views are based on your experience of being parented many decades ago

Ew, stop being a stalker.

Chillithai · 06/11/2025 18:33

Horsie · 06/11/2025 18:32

YES, you're right, Barnbrack. I am a very sinister person - a man, obvs, like you said - and my aim is to get everyone hitting their children. I also only come out at night and I eat children for breakfast. 🙄 Could you be any sillier?

Bizarre

CinnamonBuns67 · 06/11/2025 18:33

There's a difference between authoritive (what I call gentle parenting) and permissive parenting (what I call not parenting at all but what alot of people assume is gentle parenting). The children who are permissively parented are unbearable to be around but thats not because of "gentle parenting" thats because those kids aren't being parented at all.

Horsie · 06/11/2025 18:32

Barnbrack · 06/11/2025 18:25

Nope. I do however dislike anyone using a platform to try to talk other people into hitting children while somehow completely unaware of how sinister that is.

YES, you're right, Barnbrack. I am a very sinister person - a man, obvs, like you said - and my aim is to get everyone hitting their children. I also only come out at night and I eat children for breakfast. 🙄 Could you be any sillier?

frozendaisy · 06/11/2025 18:31

I think sarcastic parenting is greatly underrated!

Chillithai · 06/11/2025 18:29

Barnbrack · 06/11/2025 18:27

Ah if only we all had such considered viewpoints

You were told by @Horsie to “shut up” previously 😆

Barnbrack · 06/11/2025 18:27

Horsie · 06/11/2025 18:24

Whatever. 🙄

Ah if only we all had such considered viewpoints

Barnbrack · 06/11/2025 18:25

Horsie · 06/11/2025 18:23

Well, I'm sorry that you can't cope with people having an opinion!

Nope. I do however dislike anyone using a platform to try to talk other people into hitting children while somehow completely unaware of how sinister that is.

Chillithai · 06/11/2025 18:24

You spend a great deal on mumsnet threads
talking about your views on parenting
dozens and dozens and dozens of times

when all your views are based on your experience of being parented many decades ago

Horsie · 06/11/2025 18:24

Barnbrack · 06/11/2025 18:23

Indeed. You added that later

Whatever. 🙄

Barnbrack · 06/11/2025 18:23

Horsie · 06/11/2025 18:21

Really? Despite my repeating ad nauseam Yes, it's all theoretical. Quite possibly I'd feel differently if I'd actually had them.

Indeed. You added that later

Horsie · 06/11/2025 18:23

Chillithai · 06/11/2025 18:23

Now you keep repeating that

in the multiple posts before that, you speak definitively and dogmatically about how smacking definitely can be effective

Well, I'm sorry that you can't cope with people having an opinion!

Chillithai · 06/11/2025 18:23

Horsie · 06/11/2025 18:22

For the SIXTH TIME: Yes, it's all theoretical. Quite possibly I'd feel differently if I'd actually had them.

I think you and Barn need to work on your reading comprehension!

Now you keep repeating that

in the multiple posts before that, you speak definitively and dogmatically about how smacking definitely can be effective

Horsie · 06/11/2025 18:22

Chillithai · 06/11/2025 18:19

Exactly
it wasn’t framed as an opinion
it was very much it IS effective

when in actual fact, bugger all experience of parenting

For the SIXTH TIME: Yes, it's all theoretical. Quite possibly I'd feel differently if I'd actually had them.

I think you and Barn need to work on your reading comprehension!

Horsie · 06/11/2025 18:21

Barnbrack · 06/11/2025 18:16

Is it? Because I initially you seemed pretty sure we were all wrong and you had it nailed.

Really? Despite my repeating ad nauseam Yes, it's all theoretical. Quite possibly I'd feel differently if I'd actually had them.

Chillithai · 06/11/2025 18:19

Barnbrack · 06/11/2025 18:16

Is it? Because I initially you seemed pretty sure we were all wrong and you had it nailed.

Exactly
it wasn’t framed as an opinion
it was very much it IS effective

when in actual fact, bugger all experience of parenting

Chillithai · 06/11/2025 18:18

Horsie · 06/11/2025 18:11

Because I remember it being very effective on me! I was a bit naughty.

So just from the fact it was effective on you
you have extrapolated that If a child was really wilfully naughty, a short sharp smack on the butt can be very effective.

ok

Barnbrack · 06/11/2025 18:16

Horsie · 06/11/2025 18:15

Oh, shut up. It's just an opinion.

Is it? Because I initially you seemed pretty sure we were all wrong and you had it nailed.

Horsie · 06/11/2025 18:15

Barnbrack · 06/11/2025 18:15

Yet here you are, splaining to actual parents how you know better how to raise children.

Oh, shut up. It's just an opinion.

Barnbrack · 06/11/2025 18:15

Horsie · 06/11/2025 18:13

For the fourth time: Yes, it's all theoretical. Quite possibly I'd feel differently if I'd actually had them.

Yet here you are, splaining to actual parents how you know better how to raise children.

Horsie · 06/11/2025 18:14

Barnbrack · 06/11/2025 18:13

Yep see, you were hit and shut right up and now are telling parents they should hit their kids. So I'd say it was very effective... I'm making you pro violent responses to children.

Also, are you a man?

Yes, I'm a big hairy six foot man with huge muscles and a protruding lower jaw!

You're being ridiculous. I have made numerous concessions and caveats on this thread, all of which are ignored, and I'm not going to debate with you any longer. Have a good day.

Horsie · 06/11/2025 18:13

Barnbrack · 06/11/2025 18:12

You disagree however er you've never been a parent.

Those of us who were once not parents and now are know the difference that makes. You don't

For the fourth time: Yes, it's all theoretical. Quite possibly I'd feel differently if I'd actually had them.

Barnbrack · 06/11/2025 18:13

Horsie · 06/11/2025 18:11

Because I remember it being very effective on me! I was a bit naughty.

Yep see, you were hit and shut right up and now are telling parents they should hit their kids. So I'd say it was very effective... I'm making you pro violent responses to children.

Also, are you a man?

Barnbrack · 06/11/2025 18:12

Horsie · 06/11/2025 13:59

Well, I have been a child, and like most Seventies/Eighties children, I was smacked occasionally. I can assure you that I do not go around hitting people now! So that's that theory of yours dead in the water. As for having no idea what I'm talking about because I don't have them, I disagree. It's not hard to use your imagination.

You disagree however er you've never been a parent.

Those of us who were once not parents and now are know the difference that makes. You don't