To think gentle parenting has made some kids unbearable to be around?

I wrote before this - because it becomes an addiction and an inability to be able to sit down and don’t stop with the ipad

I think some people try very hard to give their children a better home life than they had and it very often tips over into being permissive. I'm not sure I believe people really confuse that and gentle parenting. I'm probably some kind of authoritative-gentle parenting hybrid and I don't see how it's possible to think that's on the same plan.

I think iPad parenting carries a lot of bad behaviour as well - rather than having to engage with children at meals iPads are just brought out and they are stuck on them.

Mine are both teens and we didn’t get iPads until they were much older!

I used to give my son an iPad in restaurants when he was a toddler because he wouldn’t colour or anything at that stage and I didn’t want him disturbing other people and have to run around after him in the restaurant. When he was around 4 I stopped giving him the iPad and now he will colour quietly and will sit during meals. Sometimes it annoys me all the judgy comments about iPads. Who actually cares if they are sitting on an iPad so people can enjoy a meal in peace ? Everything in moderation I say .

Not ‘gentle ‘ parenting which absolutely has boundaries. But passive parenting definitely 👍

It shows many do not understand what gentle parenting is. Constantly getting that and permissive parenting mixed up.

Your thread would be more accurate if you said bad parenting because that's what leads to unbearable kids.

If gentle parenting is about enforcing boundaries, what’s not gentle parenting?

It sounds like most ‘gentle’ parenting posters here just want a nice sounding label for their common or garden parenting, or are CBA parents who don’t want to admit it.

I don’t think so. I think unengaged, ill-considered, lazy, unloving parenting can manifest in many ways, and it has ever been so.

Gentle parenting, or whatever parenting, I'd just like to see some decent parenting, some better behaved kids around me. The lovely, delightful well mannered ones are the exception now and the ones who understand 'no' rare too.

Op is right to call it ‘gentle parenting’ because despite the fact that it is in actual fact permissive or just downright useless parenting, dippy gormless people like the word ‘gentle’ because it’s a positive affirmation of what they think they’re conveying to their child. Unfortunately they’re just selfishly creating problems for the rest of society. I call it pathetic self-indulgent parenting.

You don’t have time for clear and consistent boundaries?

Haven't any time for gentle parents and their flimsy thinking.
Parenting your child properly means that the parent has the final say and not giving power to the child while mummy or daddy wimps about before giving in.

I know you’re saying it’s an over correction, but do you think the gentle parented generation will be less people pleasing? Or will they still avoid conflict because they have no experience of it and they’ll be shocked then the world doesn’t gentle adult them?

Gentle parenting = no/CBA parenting,
& fuck the nuisance the brats cause to others.

I think people confuse ‘gentle’ parenting with permissive or ineffective parenting.

If gentle means not being authoritarian, never hitting, shouting at nor punishing a child - then we were gentle parents. We also had standards of behaviour and respect and as a result, raised 2 very nice and well behaved boys.

I had a shouty, cross mum. My husband had a dad who hit his children if they were ‘naughty’. Both appalling in different ways and I think we only realised how much our own parents fell short when we had our own children.

as usual people don’t understand the difference between gentle parenting and permissive/ shit parenting. It’s easy to blame all the shit parents on gentle parenting when you don’t understand it. Maybe read up about it.

That's absolutely not what it is, you are describing permissive parenting.

Proper gentle parenting is about setting clear boundaries and helping the child understand the what and why of the boundary, not just demanding it of them "because I said so". The boundaries don't flex, they stay firm but the parent just takes a softer approach to helping the child live within the boundary. It can take longer but the idea is it encourages empathy and children behaving within the boundaries set by their parents because they want to, not out of fear of retribution if they don't.

Done properly it can be really effective, with the right child. But a lot of people don't do it properly, and do what you described instead, which again is not what gentle parenting was ever supposed to be.

Gentle parenting is a type of authoritative parenting rather than permissive

It's all very well saying that it's not gentle parenting it's permissive parenting, but gentle parenting is actually really hard to the point of almost impossible if you have two parents working full time.

I don't agree with many of the key the tenets of gentle parenting, but even if I did, it requires seemingly endless supplies of time and patience which I don't possess. The vast majority of parents who do want to gentle parent don't either, and are either going to end up snapping and shouting, or give up on the boundary and give the child whatever they want.

Every parent I've met who classes themselves as a "gentle parent" in real life has been stressed and unhappy and their children have been feral. Not because gentle parenting isn't a good idea in theory, but because almost no-one can actually do it in practise.

I’ve voted u reasonable because you’ve confused gentle parenting with permissive parenting. Though admittedly I suspect a lot of people who think they’re gentle parenting are actually practicing permissive parenting.

permissive parenting produces children you don’t want to be around!

Actually a lot of research shows that clear and consistent boundaries is good for children and can make them feel more secure.

This … so many people say they parent gentle but actually they are permissive parents. Parenting is a verb a doing word and I see so many parents infantile their kids then wonder why they have no manners!

So again, not gentle parenting.

You are correct, it says that YOU would return the teddy and deal with fallout from the child . Apologies for misreading

All of that said...I dont want you comforting my child, that's my job not yours. And the crumbs and shoe gate seem phenomenally being for t everyone else.

As to whether I would handle ...hmm... unsure. Like another poster I have 5 children and they are just so different. 4 would respond appropriately and immediately to my instructions... the fifth was unbelievably hard work. Tbh would probably have tossed you the teddy bear, promises to come round with my carpet cleaner and clipped her into her car seat as my tyres squealed away

Parenting is not an exact science I whole heartedly agree. But they are never too young to be considerate of others and avoiding being selfish (I'm 42 and and still working on that one!)