Husband and Lindor

I’ve made myself feel sick before over eating too much chocolate, it’s not that unusual. Was your laugh lighthearted or contemptuous? Plenty of people make themselves sick through drinking too much booze, which is much worse in my book.

I think you don’t like your husband (may well be justified) and that’s the real issue.

I know you’re married but is this chocolate coming out of joint household expenses or out of your own money that is put aside for you to buy what you want. In which case I see no reason why you can’t put it in a personal safe place. I know people say you shouldn’t have to, but clearly you should (or they get eaten). A bit like you wouldn't put bottles of wine in a place accessible to an alcoholic. Poor eating impulse can be a form of addiction.

One a day - Jesus Christ.

Why then did she make reference to his weight in her OP?

If you read my initial response, I did in fact say it would be Ok to say ‘please don’t eat my chocolate’. It is the reference to his weight and his eating like a pig that I found very rude and in the context then of limiting his intake, very controlling.

a box of Bendicks lasts me at least a fortnight

Are you expecting a medal?

If my partner told me what I was/wasn't allowed to eat from the bloody supermarket shop, I'd think he was mad.

Simple, keep the Lindor in the salad drawer, doesn’t sound like he’ll find them there.

If this wasn't about food, if this was something like "DH keeps using my expensive hand cream on his feet and never buys his own", would everyone still be Team DH?

I find the way you're describing your husband very unpleasant.

Embarrassingly competitive undereating here.

First, stop controlling his eating he's a grown up, secondly if its on the family shopping is it not family food?
If he has weight and diet issues surely discuss it and agree to make changes to your family shopping habits to help support him.

To be honest@Jaichangecentfoisdenom it’s not self restraint 😂 I find them a real treat so I’ll occasionally take my time with one by having half now, half later - especially when it’s the only one I’ve got left 😃

Only read the first page so might be repeating others. I think there are two separate issues here.

1. I wouldn’t like someone eating all ‘my’ chocolates if I had bought them specially or had them as a gift. This would be DH or children, so we generally have a rule that we ask or wait to be offered before taking this type of chocolate/ treats in the house. General bought treats are fair game.

2. He’s a grown adult so I really wouldn’t like someone telling me I could only have one chocolate per day. That isn’t your call. It’s his.

Christ OP you sound pretty controlling. In our house, if there is occasionally a box of lindors, it will just be left out and anyone (me, DH, 2 teens) will just eat them whenever. Nobody monitors who ate how many and nobody cares either. As long as they are out of the dog's reach, there is no issue.

No, OP told her DH 'only one a day.'

She writes that she 'knows what he's like with chocolate' so why did it come as a complete surprise that her ate the lot?

So the simple solution is to either not buy it at all (and let DH buy his own if he wants it) or hide it.

Telling another person that they can only have one chocolate a day* is *controlling.

I can't believe this really warrants a thread on Mumsnet to be honest. Just buy it and hide it or don't bloody buy it.

OP - is this even about the chocolate? Do you love him anymore? And I mean seriously. Give it some thought.

Because this sounds awful. Whether you say anything to him or not, you’re sitting there watching everything he’s eating, and getting more and more embittered. Jesus, you listed how much sugar he puts in his tea/coffee.

It sounds like a hell of a lot of built up resentment - it sounds like you are no longer able to separate your feelings about his weight and your feelings about him.

But you need to make some lasting change, because all this monitoring of him is making you start to sound like a crazy person, and I sincerely doubt that someone who feels sheer blinding anger over what another individual eats is someone you ever wanted to be.

And just in case you need justification, it’s not about chocolate - it’s about selfishness, really. Like you said, you blurted out “one a day” because you feared there would be none left. And it sounds like you’re angry about how his weight will affect your lives permanently, not because you want him to have a “gym body” or such.

Don’t let his behavior make you into someone you don’t like.

OP didn't say that, she was just annoyed he was eating her chocolates when he could buy his own.

Would you mind if he responded by saying ‘yes but only one, because you’re overweight?’.

But it's one of her chocolates a day, he can buy and eat as much of his own.

DH buys his own ham for his work sandwiches. I wouldn't eat that without checking he has enough for the next day.

That doesn’t include controlling how he consumes his half to one a day. Who can just eat one chocolate? They’re designed to be addictive.

Wow. Being so judgmental and unkind is even more unattractive

Hard disagree. If a man were to give his partner a one chocolate a day limit because she was overweight, or ate like a pig, he would be called a controlling abuser.

He doesn’t have to - she can remove half the contents of the box that they have bought to share, leaving him to have the other half and putting/hiding her half somewhere where he can’t scoff her share within a day. If he is incapable of restricting himself to an even share, extreme measures are in order!

Why would he buy “his own chocolate” when the existing chocolate was part of the household grocery shop? It’s their chocolate, they just have different opinions on how it should be eaten.

Its not at all "controlling". OP wants to eat one a day of her nice chocolate, she doesn't want him pigging the lot when he can buy his own flipping chocolate. Why can't she have nice things? I never eat more than one chocolate a day either. I don't want to be fat again. I've been there and Im not going back.

So let him complain that you’ve been hiding chocolate again. You can reply by pointing out that you have to to stop him eating it all. I don’t see an issue with this at all.