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AIBU?

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Husband and Lindor

355 replies

Clementina49er · 05/11/2025 16:15

A couple of weeks ago we were in Wilko together and he added a bx of Lindor in some weird flavour (possibly Baileys) to my shopping basket for which I paid without comment. They went on a shelf in the kitchen and I had maybe two out of the box before discovering the empty box a mere two days later. I made no comment but I must admit I thought "that's a lot of chocolate to eat between meals in such a short time."
Ten days later I saw a box of Lindor dark chocolate mint flavour in Sainsburys so I bought them. I have a bit of a thing for dark chocolate and mint.... but a box of Bendicks lasts me at least a fortnight.
The Lindor went in the cupboard but I'd have one from to time to time in the evening with a cup of coffee after my meal.... they weren't "hidden " as such because DH is perfectly capable of opening the cupboard door.... but I know what he's like with chocolate, sweets and biscuits and a packet left anywhere visible in the kitchen will be empty before you can say "I was looking forward to eating one of those"... After lunch I noticed him go and help himself to one of the Lindor.... I made no comment, and decided I'd have one too..... I did notice there weren't many left in the box butagain, I didn't comment.... he's a grown man.
However, when I saw with his hand in the box less than an hour later something snapped and I said "only one a day": he was very offended, but he knows where the supermarket is and has enough money to buy his own damn chocolate if he wants to make a pig of himself.... He is noticeably overweight and has a sweet tooth as well as a love of alcohol and fatty foods. I cook from scratch and we eat healthy, nutritious, filling meals so I really hate to see the crap he eats in between times, not because he's hungry, but because it's there.He buys bags of Doritos and creamy dips, adds mayonnaise to meals which have their own sauce and puts 3tsp of sugar in his coffee. I make no comment about any of this, but AIBU to set a rule that expensive chocolate which I have bought is limited to one a day? There is actually other chocolate in plain view on the table, so he could have helped himself to that, but he decided he wanted a second Lindor. I rather suspect that if I hadn't seen him with his hand in the box I would have gone to it this evening for a chocolate and found it empty.

OP posts:
Guidanceplease20 · 05/11/2025 17:20

I buy bounty and bounty ice cream as DH hates coconut. Problem solved.

MattCauthon · 05/11/2025 17:19

Clementina49er · 05/11/2025 16:55

Thank you, that's exactly what I meant..... I don't try and stop him eating anything else in the house, and never comment on the crap he buys at the supermarket : as everyone has said, he's a grown man but very short on self control.
To those wondering about the "who buys it" issue - whoever goes to the supermarket pays, if we go together I pay and I pay for everything in the basket. It is not a question of money, as we both have sufficient. And he has been known to go to the supermarket to buy stuff that he fancies four or five times a week!

To those sugesting I hide my treats that I want to eke out, I did that for a while but then he finds them and complains "you've been hiding the chocolate again".

It's clear you don't really approve of his eating which, while I understand, you need to let go. Having said that, its also clear you largely DO let it go.

But this is the issue and I totally get it. I don't have a hugely sweet tooth. I also like a bit of dark lindt mint chocolate. If I buy a bar, it would last me about two weeks because I DO like 2-3 squares at a time... but usually only every few days. But DH and DS will devour it. And then I get the same thing as you, "you're hiding the chocolate" so then I was completely upfront. I buy whatever treat it is and I say that I will be hiding it because I am tired of not being able to have the treat when I want it, because it's already been eatne.

DH did once say to me, "well, we could just buy more" then. To which I have responded with a) welll - who will do the buying? I do the shoppingin this house, once a week. Are you going to make a point of going out to buy more, which would first require you realising it was necessary (said more nicely than that) and b) if we buy more, more just gets eaten. Which is not healthy or good for anyone.

Nowdays I just sometimes tuck my favourite away somewhere and if it's found and he briefly forgets the issue, I remind him....

JustSawJohnny · 05/11/2025 17:19

And that's his business.

She's his wife, not his Mother.

Screwyousimon · 05/11/2025 17:19

As a fully grown adult I would not want nor expect anybody to be policing what I eat. However these were your chocolates and he had no right to snaffle them all.

RedRiverShore5 · 05/11/2025 17:18

Those Lindor boxes are quite small though. I have about 3 or 4 in a day which I thought was quite restrained. I buy them when the big boxes are on offer on Amazon, though that's not very often now. I fill my ginger jar with them for a tasty treat, I know when DH is at the jar as I hear the lid, Grin

Horsie · 05/11/2025 17:18

KaleQueen · 05/11/2025 17:02

I occasionally eat half a Lindor and wrap the other half up for later. Anyone else?

No. That's crazy and smacks of disordered eating.

JustSawJohnny · 05/11/2025 17:18

Who the feck is ANYONE to tell their DH 'Just one a day!!!'?!!!

If mine said that to me I'd tell him to fuck right off.

Why can't you just have a normal conversation in which you tell him you want them to last and to go buy more if he wants more?

Jojoanna · 05/11/2025 17:18

Hide the Lindor where he can’t find it ,, my DH would eat the whole lot in one go , really grinds my gears

Nonpetgirl · 05/11/2025 17:18

Lindt should make this into their Christmas advert. A husband constantly taking his wife’s chocolates and going on the bad list then realising at the last minute he hadn’t got her a gift going to find some lindor balls but they’ve all sold out! Then he goes on a magical Xmas quest with Santa to wherever they are meant to be from (some kind of picturesque European chocolate place) manages to get a box and gets home in time. Wraps them and puts under the tree. But in the night hears a noise goes downstairs and sees Santa tempted by them so whispers ‘only one !’

Chocolately · 05/11/2025 17:18

KaleQueen · 05/11/2025 17:02

I occasionally eat half a Lindor and wrap the other half up for later. Anyone else?

Babe, you weird!

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 05/11/2025 17:17

My husband and i have our own treat boxes.

Treats are divided into the boxes and once they're gone, there're gone.

JohnTheRevelator · 05/11/2025 17:17

I can polish off a box of Lindt D'or chocolates in one sitting. 😂 I suspect I'm probably not the only one!

sammyspoon · 05/11/2025 17:17

This is why I buy posh chocolate, hide it and eat it all myself.

SocksPechora · 05/11/2025 17:16

I’m very confused. Surely you mean one box a day?

Allisnotlost1 · 05/11/2025 17:15

You sound very controlling, no wonder he comfort eats.

ThrushorSparrow · 05/11/2025 17:15

nonotnowmate · 05/11/2025 16:27

My dh likes to tell people he doesn’t have a sweet tooth… absolute lies, he will demolish any chocolate in sight, including the kids !

edited to add - op you sound like the chocolate police 👮

Edited

Your children are made of chocolate??

Horsie · 05/11/2025 17:15

Charlize43 · 05/11/2025 17:00

'Only one a day' would bring out the worst in me. Some people just hate authority. I'd be sitting there smeared in chocolate after that... probably in a semi-comatose state.

Yup. Me too.

Horsie · 05/11/2025 17:13

You're in a mixed marriage, OP - between one person who has good self-control around food and one who doesn't.

One Lindor a day is crazy. What's the point of having them?? I think 3-4 is much more reasonable.

briq · 05/11/2025 17:12

Well, if he's finding your hidden chocolate stash, you're not doing a good enough job of hiding it. I'd find a really good spot and use it. If he still finds it, oh well! I'd then tell him plainly that I have to hide it or else he'll eat it all, and if he doesn't like being told the truth, he can stop bringing it up.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 05/11/2025 17:12

PixieandMe · 05/11/2025 16:24

Just don't buy chocolate.

Trouble is, it's very 'more-ish' and once you start on a box, it's hard to stop.

1 a day sounds like a very small amount and quite controlling so easier just to not buy it?

If the OP has the self-discipline to limit herself to one a day, why on earth should she be deprived of her little treat just because her husband has no restraint?

Hide the Lindor, OP. He can buy his own chocolate.

WhyOhWhyEightyTwo · 05/11/2025 17:12

Holy fuck how an earth do you have the will power for one a day. Bananas and YABU

lazyarse123 · 05/11/2025 17:11

333FionaG · 05/11/2025 17:01

Stop treating your husband like a recalcitrant toddler, it's not a good look. If he wants to eat chocolate all day, then that's his decision. He's an adult and capable of managing his food intake without your interference.

That's the point. He can't regulate his own food intake.

IMustDoMoreExercise · 05/11/2025 17:11

Clementina49er · 05/11/2025 16:55

Thank you, that's exactly what I meant..... I don't try and stop him eating anything else in the house, and never comment on the crap he buys at the supermarket : as everyone has said, he's a grown man but very short on self control.
To those wondering about the "who buys it" issue - whoever goes to the supermarket pays, if we go together I pay and I pay for everything in the basket. It is not a question of money, as we both have sufficient. And he has been known to go to the supermarket to buy stuff that he fancies four or five times a week!

To those sugesting I hide my treats that I want to eke out, I did that for a while but then he finds them and complains "you've been hiding the chocolate again".

I wouldn't hide them, I would just buy a lockable tin and put them in there.

That isn't hiding them so he can't complain.

He can do the same.

bugalugs45 · 05/11/2025 17:11

YenneferOfVengerburg · 05/11/2025 17:06

No

I'll have one maybe sometimes

Quarters ? Feeds a family of 4 no drama 🤣

Grammarnut · 05/11/2025 17:10

Why so mean? Certainly, he's overweight but one chocolate a day? That's a bit Scroogy.
But let him buy his own if he likes. You should organise his diet better, though. Nothing you can do about sugar but you can stop buying snacks and you can cook healthily without loads of fat etc - he won't notice.
A few chocolates is not his problem!