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AIBU?

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20yo DD was home alone- 2 Proovia delivery came into house and stood over her until she transferred £60 into their own bank account- raging at response

258 replies

fanothetan · 05/11/2025 15:24

Delivery came significantly earlier than agreed, and these men were angry that I had not answered the phone. I work in CAMHS and never take my phone into clinics- . beside the point anyway, I had no reason to think I needed to.
DD knew nothing about the delivery so totally blindsided by how they were behaving. From their demeanour she assumed I had messed up. They brought the item upstairs (I’m third floor) came into the hall and demanded £60 because they had been paid to deliver to the first floor. True, but would not have been an issue if the delivery has arrived at the agreed time. They stood over her while she transferred it on her phone. Understandably she felt scared and did not argue with them, which was the right thing to do.
The response feels like a parody. I phoned and repeatedly ‘corrected’ with variations on ‘your adult daughter’ ‘yes, but she is an adult’. The initial reply to an email was a bald ‘the transaction was cancelled by you’. This was untrue and anyway are either of these responses the point?
After providing evidence and much to-ing and fro-ing there’s no dispute this happened and they say the driver no longe works for them. Having said they would refund the money, they are now saying they won’t, and asking why it’s taken so long to request a refund. Now it’s only £60 and hones, I honestly could not care less, but it speaks volumes and makes me extremely skeptical that any action was taken by them to address this.
The question is can I do anything? I have one of their full names from the bank transfer and their phone number from the repeated phone calls. Taking it to the police seems trivial if it’s about £60 but it’s not, it’s about grown men intimidating a 20 year old girl in her own home. It’s about an employer who clearly give no fucks at all about this and is happy to prevaricate and hand out platitudes rather than respond appropriately.

AIBU to not just suck it up and accept this is how things are? Or should I post the entire email thread which would be hilarious were it not so totally enraging? If there is a constructive way to get this addressed I might be spared an ulcer.

OP posts:
Loganran · 05/11/2025 21:55

fanothetan · 05/11/2025 21:46

They brought it up, then demanded the money. They probably knew fine she would have felt obliged to pay at that point.

No, no, your daughter is supposed to be armed to the teeth when answering the door and immediately react by kickboxing bullying men who demand money from her unexpectedly down the stairs.

This is precisely what happened, and she did precisely the right thing as she was alone with two unknown men.

I honestly would tell her not to answer the door to anyone, and that is the advice I would give any woman home alone. I dont care how many of the clowns on this thread pretend this is an overreaction.

Let's hope they are never taught by life that it is NOT an overreaction, for their sake.

AstonUniversityPotholeDepartment · 05/11/2025 21:54

fanothetan · 05/11/2025 21:46

They brought it up, then demanded the money. They probably knew fine she would have felt obliged to pay at that point.

They must have guessed that, because it seems rather surprising to carry it up and then ask.

It only makes sense if they were certain they could guilt-trip her into paying.

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 05/11/2025 21:53

fanothetan · 05/11/2025 21:44

Sorry that might not have been clear. I live on the third floor of a tenement block.

So she did let them upstairs?

BruFord · 05/11/2025 21:51

fanothetan · 05/11/2025 21:44

Sorry that might not have been clear. I live on the third floor of a tenement block.

@fanothetan I wish you’d clarified that earlier, OP.

I’ve lived in several upper level flats and deliveries are typically left in a communal area on the first floor for tenants to collect- isn’t that the case in your building?

fanothetan · 05/11/2025 21:46

BallerinaRadio · 05/11/2025 18:13

I don't understand why she didn't just tell them to leave it on the first floor if that's where you'd paid to have it delivered to

They brought it up, then demanded the money. They probably knew fine she would have felt obliged to pay at that point.

OP posts:
Niallig32839 · 05/11/2025 21:44

Your daughter is 20, not a child. Sounds like poor customer service and a poor experience however sounds blown out of proportion to me.

fanothetan · 05/11/2025 21:44

BuffButlerBumfight · 05/11/2025 17:20

She doesn't live on the third floor, there are (at least) three floors within the house. The delivery men carried the items upstairs inside the house.

Sorry that might not have been clear. I live on the third floor of a tenement block.

OP posts:
fanothetan · 05/11/2025 21:42

Aluna · 05/11/2025 16:56

What was the delivery of? How long did you take to complain?

There’s no way I’d hand over £60 as it’s not likely to come from the courier themselves, but that’s irrelevant.

A table. I think it would be massively risky to revise to pay the money given the circumstances but each to their own.

OP posts:
BadgernTheGarden · 05/11/2025 21:41

Sounds like a man with a van type set up, each courier is a separate entity, so you pay them directly. They changed the price when they realised that had to carry up two more floors. Why didn't they know where they were delivering to? You really can't complain much if the job changed partway through. They weren't going to leave without being paid because they've probably been caught like that before.

fanothetan · 05/11/2025 21:38

VickyEadieofThigh · 05/11/2025 16:50

A third of them never even lock their front doors.

And apparently have ninja like responses to the most unexpected, left field of situations.

OP posts:
Loganran · 05/11/2025 21:38

fanothetan · 05/11/2025 21:34

It was a table, I phoned the following day and followed up by email the same day.

Ignore the clowns trying to pretend they were all Rambo when home alone aged 20 with two bullying men hassling them.

Your daughter did nothing wrong. I am sorry they treated her like this.

I'm not sure who I would take this to but there must be a governing body you could talk to?

fanothetan · 05/11/2025 21:34

Aluna · 05/11/2025 16:56

What was the delivery of? How long did you take to complain?

There’s no way I’d hand over £60 as it’s not likely to come from the courier themselves, but that’s irrelevant.

It was a table, I phoned the following day and followed up by email the same day.

OP posts:
PollyBell · 05/11/2025 21:33

So there was 2 choice leave it down stairs or pay £60 to have it brought up, so the money should have been paid immediately, I presume the mention of the £60 in the order details so you should have passed this on to her

Loganran · 05/11/2025 21:31

IcingOnTheTop · 05/11/2025 21:29

OP will be hard pushed to take it further when payment being made at the time of delivery is incorporated into their terms and conditions.

No, she won't. And I didn't mention the money I am responding to their vile bullying behaviour.

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 05/11/2025 21:30

I'm not surprised it took the company so long to understand what happened. You're being very confusing on this thread...

And if you also brought that snotty attitude in the same as you have here, I also can't blame them

Is it a 3 floor house or a 3rd floor flat? Did they take it up and then demand payment or demand it the moment she let them in?

I would always make someone aware of a delivery as times can and do change...

fanothetan · 05/11/2025 21:30

MedusasHead · 05/11/2025 21:09

This is disgraceful. I’d report it to the police and also email Anna Tims at The Guardian. She’s v good on consumer issues and has enough clout to sort out/shame them/ideally discourage companies from turning a blind eye.

https://www.theguardian.com/profile/annatims

Actually this is a great idea.

OP posts:
BruFord · 05/11/2025 21:30

fanothetan · 05/11/2025 20:58

they brought it upstairs, then demanded the money once inside the house. She didn’t know.

Given your updates, I think that calling 101 is a good idea. If your DD didn’t give them permission to go upstairs, that’s a form of trespassing.

Even if she did give them permission to go upstairs, the fact that they demanded money in order to leave the house makes it more serious, I believe that’s criminal trespassing (the police will obviously be able to inform you).

FatGurlSlym · 05/11/2025 21:29

Motnight · 05/11/2025 16:27

This is Mumsnet. Half the posters won't even answer their front door😂

Well, in this case it would have been a good decision.

IcingOnTheTop · 05/11/2025 21:29

Loganran · 05/11/2025 21:27

They are vile bullying arseholes and you should very definitely take this further.

OP will be hard pushed to take it further when payment being made at the time of delivery is incorporated into their terms and conditions.

fanothetan · 05/11/2025 21:28

AstonUniversityPotholeDepartment · 05/11/2025 20:29

If they'd only been paid to deliver it to the first floor, why did they take it to the third floor without asking for further payment first?

Presumably because they knew they would be able to pressure her to pay by telling her after the fact. Which is exactly what happened.

OP posts:
Loganran · 05/11/2025 21:27

They are vile bullying arseholes and you should very definitely take this further.

fanothetan · 05/11/2025 21:26

Squirrelandnuts · 05/11/2025 21:15

I think it must have been really scary for your daughter, age not withstanding.

Unfortunately, she didn't have the presence of mind to ask for the delivery company's phone number to confirm the amount. Plus, if there really was an additional charge surely, the company would invoice you.

In the interim, as others have said alert Trading Standards and the Police, after all who else have these men been doing this to? It sounds like a side scam that they have been running with people they perceive to be vulnerable.

Write a stiff letter to the delivery company, reminding of their responsibility/public insurance liability for their workers. That you expect an official letter of apology to you and your daughter.

If the money is important, ask for it a refund. Otherwise, it is of no import, the intimidation is the issue here.

However, your daughter needs to learn for her own good, never to transfer money to delivery drivers (or whoever), especially in front of them without checking with the company she is buying the items from. If, she is alone, she should phone a friend or you, so you/they can hear the entire conversation.

I agree with most of what you say, however I think she made absolutely the right decision given the circumstances. There is no question in my mind that the priority was getting them out of the house asap. Money is of little or no consequence in a situation where she felt fearful and threatened. This is making her responsible for the actions of the men. Surely the lesson has to be applied to them?

OP posts:
MeridianB · 05/11/2025 21:25

May be a long shot but could DD’s bank help if she explained it was coercive? They may be able to reverse it or raise a case with thief’s bank once police involved and you have crime number.

Grammarninja · 05/11/2025 21:24

Is it standard for the company to charge £60 to bring certain items up to the third floor? If so, and your daughter, an adult, directed them to do so, then I can't really detect a problem other than the early arrival of said item and the surprise it posed to your daughter.
If the company charge for bringing it up two flights of stairs is £60 and two tall men asked for this payment, it's not really on them that your daughter felt intimidated. They can't help their height or sex, their demeanour is their choice and their adherence to demanding extra charges to be paid on the spot is them following company policy.
If it's not company policy, then it's extortion, pure and simple.

LizzieSiddal · 05/11/2025 21:24

I feel so sorry for your DD, I hope she’s ok. I think many women would have felt intimidated by this situation and would have transferred the money, just to get them out of the house.

Keep complaining, the transport company are acting outrageously!