‘Just the meat for me please’ Sunday Lunch issue ’

Greetings original commenter 🤗
I've only just seen your comment & most surely don't feel you're being unreasonable to any degree, God Bless You
Immediately clicked on You're Not Being Unreasonable & it seems most believe the same 🥳
You've already got your work cut out for you & I feel your niece's bf should bring his own meat, ready to eat, not cause friction between you & your dear sister
Much love to you&yours & wishing you all the utmost best 💚

Buy him a tin of Chum, he'd be barking to come again.

Is your sister engaged to Henry VIII?

It will be interesting to find out if he is demanding or whether this was being driven by your sister. But I’m guessing that she has eaten with him several times and so this must come from somewhere.

Whether he’s asked for a pile of meat or she’s offered is key. But her making the expectation on his behalf to a different host is rude.

I would think that the border as to what is obsessive and what is just a preference is what life situations are impacted.

I know of people who say 'I'm a bit ocd' or similar. I have met true sufferers form OCD who have admitted that they would be unable to leave their home in a hurry with their sick child if there was an incomplete compulsion eg they had not completed their shower ritual, had unprepared chicken on the worktop.

Would I literally go without food if there wasn't an option (e.g a day out at a theme park, a remote cafe on a hike)? No
Do my preferences trump basic
politeness? No

A couple of weeks ago I went to a private hospitality event. I ate all 4 courses including a pudding. It would have been rude not to with the amount the host had paid and very obvious in the small private dining area.

Not everything someone is very interested in is an obsession. One relative follows the Ukrainian war for literally hours each day and is on some sort of WhatsApp group for more detailed analysis. It's just an interest. The same amount of time watching tv and reading about slebs wouldn't get any judgment.

Playing on gaming consoles can lead to some missing meals. That's more concerning in my opinion.

Two chicken and a gammon for 8 people, right? Isn’t that enough?
Yes you want someone to feel welcome but grabbing a pile of meat like this is entitled and self-involved.

She’s literally dating a “Meat Head” 🤣
go to costco, buy a cooked rotisserie chicken (it’s like £4.50 or something). It comes in a bag.
slap a gift bow on it and eh voilla!

The majority of Indians are not vegetarians, walk a lot so the overall rate is low, and are under 40. This is local data coming from specific vegetarian populations with higher life expectancies that previously didn’t see bowel cancer.

....and are maybe eating more Western convenience foods than they traditionally did?

If the boyfriend starts boring on about the gym, please please please share this anecdote over the dinner table.

Is that adjusted to allow for the fact that India has a higher number of vegetarians?

Bowel cancer rates are increasing the highest amongst vegetarians in India (who often eat all their meals cooked from scratch 5-10 portions of veg per day) as they’re least likely to exercise

Going to someone else’s house on and piling your plate high with the most expensive item on the menu is rude. Just reiterate to your sister that she’s to bring cooked meat for him or they can all stay at home.

But that's the issue with someone who is orthorexic. They don't/can't eat normally, no matter what the circs. It's the lack of flexibility that makes them orthorexic. "Cue memories of my exH coming to my parents' for Christmas, declaring that he would only eat the vegetables but not to do anything special for him."

I’d like to hazard a bet that when there’s no double portion of meat for him alone, he’ll be right in about those spuds and trimmings! back for pudd too. Tell him to track that on his App CF

This in spades. It's one bloody meal FFS and the women in his life are asking OP to cook him an extra chicken. What an entitled nightmare they could be creating.

I suppose it depends on your setup up but in my house, it would cause extra planning. It would mean I would need to start cooking 90 minutes earlier, and then think about how to keep the first chicken warm while I cook the other 2, and the gammon.

I could fit 2 chickens in my main oven with the roasties around them and the gammon in the air fryer, but there is no way I would fit 3 chickens in my standard-size oven.

Plus, where are people buying their chickens, or are we all eating caged meat? Because the last time I bought a whole chicken, I'm pretty sure it was closer to a tenner than a fiver. I doubt they've gotten considerably cheaper in the last few months.

I still think this whole thing is a massive drama over nothing . A extra chicken costs £5 , doesn’t take that much extra planning either . It’s no different to welcoming a vegetarian person or one with other diet needs . I would hate for any guest of mine to feel there isn’t enough food and I would have never created an issue over this .
yes your mil shouldn’t have requested it for him but it’s common courtesy to serve people well if I’m hosting .

He must know that he has a restrictive diet which it expensive to accommodate, so why doesn't he eat at least a partial meal in advance, rather than expecting his host to provide him with huge piles of meat?

Decades ago I was vegan (when it was very unusual and not catered for anywhere) I would always eat before going out for food and then just partake it what I could (generally salad!)

I wonder what he would do if he was invited for food at a non meat eating household...

There’s a difference between tracking something and being obsessed with something.

Unless eating something triggers a life-threatening health condition or will completely go against a core belief, it doesn’t seem healthy to be planning your entire life around your food restrictions (generic “your”, not meaning you personally).

It probably is challenging but that's because different people have different priorities (often based around their responsibilities).

Discipline looks different to different people because of this. Being disciplined in my world is managing my workload (senior job) so I can spend more quality time with my son. It wouldn't occur to me that being disciplined involves adhering to a strict diet because that just doesn't factor into my priorities (of course I try to eat healthily as a responsible adult and parent).

OP's future nephew-in-law aside, why is tracking macros disordered? It's no different to tracking calories (which are a macro).

Surely, eating a "regular" British diet, which typically is high in processed foods and low in micronutrients, is more disordered than taking the time to ensure your diet is balanced and tailored to your activity type/level.

So you think every competitive sportsman or woman is vain? What about musicians?other professionals? Some, yes, absolutely, but not all I don't think. We've probably derailed this thread a bit too much now, but interesting discussion, thanks 😀

Um, I'm not sure I'd want the discipline to be bordering on disordered eating or to be making silly demands of others.

I wonder if the idea of a lifestyle very different from one's own and actually quite niche is challenging to people who don't have the discipline?

Half way up a hill in the middle of nowhere at the mo.
I'll eat my chicken , eggs and salad at the top!