‘Just the meat for me please’ Sunday Lunch issue ’

Not what you asked but no way I could ever be in a relationship with someone who eats meat only. Or who is sooooo rigid that they will not deviate from their preferred diet even for one meal when someone new is hosting you. What does he think is going to happen if he has a few peas or cauliflower?!

OP, this man is going to be your family. Yes, it's a PITA. Yes, he sounds like one of those insanely boring highly restrictive eaters. But that's not the point. The point is that you should accommodate him for your DN. For the sake of family harmony, just get more meat and let him have at it. He's not asking for something complicated, after all - just more of something. We all have to accommodate weird family members sometimes.

My xh (note the ex bit!) was/is a gym fanatic and had the weirdest disordered eating - he was either completely on it, or not at all. It made life dull and difficult.... and I've been left with my own disordered eating issues due to it. Your poor DN has no idea what she's getting into!

In your position, I'd get the biggest chickens possible (I doubt he'll eat gammon or chipolatas) and some breast or thighs to roast with them. And then ensure that he's never invited round again!

My ds's would absolutely have a field day too!

I have had this: friend of dh’s came who was on some protein diet. I had cooked boeuf bourginon (well, beef stew!) and he announced that he’d just take the meat. Cue him picking out all the chunks of beef so he had a large plateful and leaving not a single one! It was really awkward.

Similarly at a tapas thing, one person said, “Oh, I only like these” pulling the beef and chicken towards them. Left everyone else to share the potatoes, peppers and tomatoes…

How incredibly rude, to expect to eat a huge amount of meat at someone else's expense! But I'm not 'Mumsnet Correct', because I'd also be put out if I was expected to cater for a vegetarian or vegan (or any other person with a special diet I wasn't used to cooking for) who was too precious to offer to bring something they could eat or just eat what was on the table that fit their diet, like the rest of us do. Like most people, I don't like/shouldn't eat certain things. I just do the best I can. Unless it's a serious allergy, it's not the end of the world, and if it's that important to you, you need to offer to do something to lighten the burden on your host.

I absolutely get that he shouldn't change his diet for just one meal. That's unreasonable. I bet your sister is making more of it than it is. He can just eat more meat at home later if he likes. I'm cutting carbs and bored with people trying to make me eat things I don't want to or telling me what's healthy. Listening to them is what has made diets fail before.

I think it's rude to comment on what other people choose to eat and equally rude to expect someone to give you a pile of just one element of the meal to suit you. Sounds like he has focus and has already made plans to bring food that suits him.

Three chickens and a gammon, plus potatoes? I'm worried about the oven space!!!

I'm going to bet that this man's breath is rank.

CF indeed.
I would buy a protein shake and give him that instead of extra meat !
Let's hope your niece sees sense and it is short lived!

Surely if he needs more meat he can eat a whole chicken when he is back at home. Surely this is an eating disorder with a fancy a name

You see part of me wants you to go completely the other way now.

Cook 3 chickens all for him pile his plate high and refuse to let him down from the table until every bit is eaten.

Is your niece extremely wealthy? She’s going to need to be with their future shopping bills!

A good host should always try to cater to their guests’ preferences and requirements.

but good manners shouldn’t be expected only of the host. I think guests have a responsibility to be polite and considerate as well - both towards their hosts and the other guests! That includes showing a bit of restraint.

one person wouldn’t eat five slices of cake while someone else has only just taken their first bite. Why should this be any different?

(also… „health“? Sure. But even paleo/keto includes low carb veggies!)

It’s just greed

If he's still hungry after lunch, he can get a kebab on the way home. Offer directions to the dodgiest nearest takeaway.

This is just more terminology that describes disordered eating. ‘Bulking and cutting’ are better known as bingeing and restricting.

In general I agree with this. The sister was distinctly crass and out of line.

But rather than make a to-do, just this once I’d cook extra. Especially since they are celebrating their engagement.

You won't cater for vegans? I find that very odd. I assume that vegans choose to eliminate all animal-derived food from their diet out of principle or in a few cases religious belief. I don't share those principles or beliefs, but I would feel I have to respect them. Deciding that you need to eat mostly meat is nothing like this. It's a choice based on wanting to be very muscular, as far as I can make out. I suppose in some cases it might be an eating disorder, and I'd be more sympathetic to that, but would also feel (silently) that it's a great shame that the person has not managed to overcome this with therapy, as it would be so much healthier and sociable to be able to eat a normal mixed diet.

It's not that hard to cater for vegans as a one off, surely. I would never expect a vegan or vegetarian or anyone else who doesn't eat meat to cook it for me. It would be no hardship at all to have a meal without any meat in it. Unless it was pointed out, it would scarcely register, actually.

Pay no attention, I'm sure her idea of a plate of meat and his are different. It sounds as though you will have plenty with two chickens and a gammon joint. Tell her she doesn't need to bring two pork chops for goodness sakes. In any case he has to adapt when he goes to someone's house for a meal, we all do, that is life.

Chuck a bunch of boiled eggs at him if he's that desperate for protein.

I absolutely do not understand people like this.

You've been invited for lunch. Just eat what is there - fine if you don't want the potatoes and veg, just eat what you like from what you are given or is offered to you. It's not an allergy problem.

Why oh why do you take sliced fucking avocado to someones house to eat yourself! Can you not just have it when you get home? You will look like a dick.

I massively empathise with you OP.

@HelenHywater I assume the sister knows what the BF is like

No, it’s part of the bodybuilding cycle. Both men and women who bodybuild will cycle between bulking and cutting. When bulking they eat high calorie diets and add fat to their bodies, which helps them build muscle as they lift. They will then start cutting by dropping calories and eating mostly protein, which drops their body fat percentage and makes their muscles visible so they can see their progress (or compete, if they do that).

Yes, and I can imagine there would be lots of concern if a body-obsessed young woman turned up for a family meal and said she would only be eating plain lettuce leaves because she’s on a really restrictive diet. But somehow it’s fine when it’s gym bros who have disordered eating because it has special, manly names 😜

It might just be the sister whose overthinking it. The young man might be a really polite young man who will just help himself to a normal portion of meat and pretend to eat the veg.

I wonder what he's planning to do with pudding. And alcohol.