To be terrified about telling the boss I’m resigning

Resign via email. Maybe on a Friday. Just say the new job is better pay or something if you want - but you don't have to give a reason at all. If there's any bullying, tell them you're happy to work your notice period, but if you're mistreated, you can also wait it out at home. You've done nothing wrong.

You already have a new job so you don't need a reference- if they try and load you up in your notice period, just don't do the work- what can they do?

But, in theory, you won’t see them again. So who cares if they aren’t very nice?

If you working there didn’t suit them anymore, they’d get shot of you in a heartbeat. Try and adopt the sane mindset. It’s business, not personal

Its just a job op...you don't owe them your entire life. Your DD and you are your main priority. This is part and parcel of being an employer... sometimes people leave.

Congratulations on the new job which you know suits better location wise.

I wouldn't have expected a counteroffer from your current boss - the main reason you've given is the commute, which they can't change. If they wanted to keep you in a business of any size, budgets and management structures usually mean they wouldn't have the autonomy to make an offer there and then, and if they do, personally, that's an incentive to leave as if their money was available, why didn't they offer it previously? Also, no need to tell them where you're going.

See your notice out, don't fuss about doing all the unpaid overtime and enjoy the new role.

You don’t owe an employer a life long commitment. People come and go from jobs all the time, even when long standing staff leave and it feels like the end of the world, things carry on as normal. I wouldn’t give it too much thought, if it works for you, move on. They’ll be a distance memory to you soon enough and same with you to them.

I think it's fine, your reasons for the role not fitting your work/life balance are fine. I don't think they can have any issues as long as you work notice period.

They are all pathetic.

If they are all responding and giving you silent treatment, spend less energy (in the form of caring) what they think.

Go for it.
Your current role isn't sustainable and it's incompatible with your home life. The commute alone is horrendous, so you're getting your life back by taking the role.

They do not know I am unhappy.

The manager is abrasive, you spend 2.5 hours a day on the motorway and they ask you for flexibility but dont return the favour. All for <£30k

They do know you're unhappy, but they dont care.

No wonder they are disappointed!

Don't feel guilty- it's a no-brainer the other job is 10 miles away, just explain that- they may offer you more money, personally I would still take the other job.

If they want to act like nob heads that's on them.

Start planning for the new job and let them get on with it.x.

Onwards and upwards!!

It’s got nothing to do with working from home. You found a new job and quit. This is perfectly normal. Millions of people do it every day. It’s not something you need to ‘face people’ about!

If a few colleagues are frosty for a few weeks, then so what? The fact that you’ve been panicking about this and the language you’ve used in your posts is really baffling me. Have you never left a job before? Surely you know that this is all VERY standard?

Your daughter is your priority, and yourself!
It's always nice to leave on a high and friendly note, but you don't owe your employer anything

@mrlistersgelfbride
Imagine (being apocalyptic here) that you fell off a cliff/were struck by lightning/abducted by aliens. They'd have to find a way of continuing without you, and they would. Within weeks, you'd barely be remembered. My sister tied herself in knots to continue working (because she felt the pull of loyalty to her company) when she was suffering with the disease that killed her. You have to look after your own wellbeing (and your family's, of course). If you don't, who will?
I'm happy for you that you've handed in your notice. Enjoy your time, knowing that soon it will be finished, and that dreadful commute will be at an end. Lots of best wishes and hope the new job is a delight. 💐

I genuinely don’t understand why you care about this.

Don't do this! Bad advice.

You've done your part now OP, carry on getting on woth things and acting normal.

I was in a similarish situation not long ago, when I told my boss they were professional about it. Try not to overthink, it may not be that bad. Just keep it brief and say thank you for the opportunity, but a job has come up that better suits your lifestyle. Even if it goes badly, your leaving anyway!

Just carry on as normal and pretend that you haven't noticed at all. Don't give them any satisfaction for being twats.

Or do annoying things like humming happily to yourself while you think of your great new job!

Honestly don’t worry op. It shouldn’t come as a great shock to them.

I remember starting a call centre roll where loads of people left after a really short time giving the reason that finishing at 8pm meant they hardly saw their families. Employers should be hsed to this stuff. Please don’t worry about it.

You haven't done anything wrong at all, but I always feel guilty handing my notice in, so I know how you feel.

You have to put yourself first though. The business would have no qualms about making people redundant or restructuring if they needed to, its not personal, its just life.

Congratulations on the new job!