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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel physically repulsed by my husband

89 replies

LeopardPrintIsNeutral · 05/11/2025 10:59

I feel awful admitting it but I just cant
hes currently unemployed playing video games, with such exertion that he’s panting like a dog.
He’s horrid to me
and honestly 🤮🤮🤮

OP posts:
Swiftie1878 · 05/11/2025 11:54

LeopardPrintIsNeutral · 05/11/2025 11:04

I’m trying to leave but we jointly (stupidly) own the house he’s never paid into
interest rates have gone up and despite affording it all alone I on paper can’t afford it alone
i xant afford a solicitor I am absolutely buggered

Just walk away.
Leave it all behind.
Start again (with better choices).

Good luck x

anytipswelcome · 05/11/2025 11:52

LeopardPrintIsNeutral · 05/11/2025 11:02

He doesn’t let me sleep in my own bed for 5 years
he guilts me
he throws away my clothes
my family don’t visit anymore
my house is a shothole
I just want to weep

My love his behaviour is so awful it’s literally criminal - him refusing to allow you to sleep soundly, throwing away your belongings and isolating you from your loved ones is coercive control.

Please contact women’s aid to talk to them about how to safely exit this relationship while keeping you and your children safe.

IsThisIt39 · 05/11/2025 11:19

You don’t owe it to anyone to waste anymore time with this man, he sounds controlling and repulsive. You deserve better.

arethereanyleftatall · 05/11/2025 11:18

LeopardPrintIsNeutral · 05/11/2025 11:14

Yes to children which just makes it even harder

It also makes it more important that you find the £500 to start divorce proceedings

dontlikethings · 05/11/2025 11:16

Contact Womens Aid.

Original poster
LeopardPrintIsNeutral · 05/11/2025 11:14

Yes to children which just makes it even harder

OP posts:
RosaMundi27 · 05/11/2025 11:07

Honour your own feelings of repulsion and start divorcing him. He sounds really nasty and abusive. Maybe start by getting in touch with your family and tell them the situation you're in and ask for their help. Be honest about how awful he is.
There are charities who help women in your situation too, like Women's Aid.
You do deserve to have a nice life, and deep down you know it won't be with him.

Sassylovesbooks · 05/11/2025 11:06

I assume you work full-time and are currently paying all the bills? Is he doing more of the household chores? Is he looking for work? Do you have children? It sounds as if you've come to the end of the road, and perhaps divorce would be the better option? Could you manage on your own salary, and half of the marital assets (assuming you have a mortgage)? Even if he's not currently working, any pension he's accrued would be included within the marital assets (as would yours be).

mumofoneAloneandwell · 05/11/2025 11:04

😭😭

YANBU

LTB IMMEDIATELY, HE'S A WALKING SITTING ICK!

Edit - just seen your follow up posts. Its no longer funny and you deserve better ❤️

GIF by Slice
Original poster
LeopardPrintIsNeutral · 05/11/2025 11:04

I’m trying to leave but we jointly (stupidly) own the house he’s never paid into
interest rates have gone up and despite affording it all alone I on paper can’t afford it alone
i xant afford a solicitor I am absolutely buggered

OP posts:
Original poster
LeopardPrintIsNeutral · 05/11/2025 11:02

He doesn’t let me sleep in my own bed for 5 years
he guilts me
he throws away my clothes
my family don’t visit anymore
my house is a shothole
I just want to weep

OP posts:
PollyBell · 05/11/2025 11:01

Then leave

Guavafish1 · 05/11/2025 11:00

is he looking for work?

oldclock · 05/11/2025 10:59

Do you have kids or any reason to stay? No-one should be horrible to you.