To feel physically repulsed by my husband

It’s ok, baby steps.

Call or email ‘women’s aid helpline’ they will
assist with how to leave him, alternative accommodation, any benefits you
may be entitled to when you become a single parent etc.

Because you have an asset, If you’re married search for divorce lawyers near you and book a free consultation. If you are not married then a property lawyer. You need to get your money out of that asset, that’s yours and you will need it for a fresh start.

Start with those and take it from there. Deep
breaths and baby steps x

Can you reach out to your family OP? anyone?

This relationship definitely needs to end.

You need legal advice on how to get the house - it will likely have to be sold and split.

I have a friend who’s GF broke up with him but she refuses to leave the home.
It was in his name but as she has his child she couldn’t legally be kicked out.
He had to move out and rent, as well as pay the mortgage as she refused and it took years of going through court to finally get his house back.

As you are married it’s half his house and so I do not think you can ask him to leave at all.

Speak to women’s aid and see where you stand but it is likely that you’ll have to move out and then start divorce proceedings to get the house sold and separated.

This may take years so don’t expect anything to happen overnight but at least you’ll be moving forward.
If you had done this 5 years ago, you’d already be divorced, settled and happily single or in a new relationship.

What is he like as a father?
I’m struggling to imagine him being a decent one considering he makes his child’s mum sleep in her bedroom but it’s mad that you are working FT whilst he is unemployed.
If he’s a half decent father then he should be the one doing the majority of the parenting whilst you are sorting your new life out.

Yes that’s what you need to do.

Start planning your escape plan.

Women’s charities can signpost you. So you can start figuring out how to leave.

Getting hour finance in order.

Looking for a cheap place to rent.

instructing a solicitor to force sale of the property etc not necessarily in the order.

I can’t recall if you’ve said you’re married. If you are you need a divorce lawyer. If you are not you need a property lawyer because you jointly own it.

Start making appointments with places. That’s your starting point.

You can usually see a lawyer for 30 mins or so free of charge. That would be a good starting point.

Pack his bags and lock him out. He will be too lazy to do anything about it.

You need to leave him - that's no way to live. Or rather, you need to kick him out of your house. Are you married? What country are you in?

Google ‘Women’s Aid Helpline’, select the country in the U.K. you’re in, ring the number. They also have an email address if you feel more comfortable writing things down.

LTB. The sooner the better. All the strength for you, and all the best for you and your DD.

If you do not even like him then get a divorce. Life is too short to waste on staying with a person you not only don't love but don't even like and actively dislike.

No, no, no my darling - it makes it easier - you have to leave for THEM. They should not see this model of a family every day, you, driven to desperation and he is playing games? You should definitely leave.

It’s ok, we need to come up with an escape plan.

You need to sit down. Start calling women’s aid and have meetings.

You have the funds, so you can force sale of the property and use your half to start again with your little girl.

You will look back at this decision and be happy.

The first step is the hardest but it’s time to quietly without him knowing start planning your escape route x

@LeopardPrintIsNeutral I really feel for you. You shouldn't have to live this way and your daughter shouldn't have to grow up in a household like this either.

However, YOU DO NEED THE EQUITY OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!!!! Specially, if you have paid the lions share into it.

Please speak to Womens Aid, the Womens Trust, your GP, the National Domestic Abuse Helpline, Refuge, Citizens Advice etc etc. You may even find that your own local council has a domestic abuse hub - maybe that is the IDVA you are referring to? Get some proper help and advice from the experts in this field and make a plan for yourself and your daughter to bring an end to this situation.

You're not in the UK then? Where are you?

Leave. Do NOT let your children grow up thinking that this is a normal and acceptable marriage. I grew up not knowing what a healthy relationship looked like. Trust me, you don't want that for your children. You owe it to them to move out ASAP and start divorce proceedings.

Will you?

Why won’t you contact Women’s Aid?

Your children are being damaged.

Luckily he definitely won't be able to afford a lawyer, the grotesque exploitative prick.

Well done on your promotion, you are going places!

Please take out a small loan to see a lawyer.

Please talk to the lawyer BEFORE you start divorce proceedings to make sure you do everything you can to ensure he cannot claim that he has been a SAHP - this is very important.

In two years this will all seem like a weird nightmare.

That is what he wants and what he has deliberately been doing - to make you feel so low and trapped that you can't leave.

Please prove him wrong, for the kids and also for you. Please listen to the people on here OP, sound advice been given. Sure, it's scary to make the move but I bet you'd not regret it once out the other side. Hugs

Honestly OP speak to womens aid now. Find out what your options are before you give up, you may get help with the solicitor. Xx

Do it for you Dd so she doesn't grow up thinking this is what a healthy relationship looks like. You will be 100% better off.

This, go homeless if you have to but contact womens aid first for advice, your children will thank you in the long run.