To feel physically repulsed by my husband

Yes - I really hope they’ve helped you.

You need to start with one step and the next. Before you know it everything will be moving forward.

You have to get out of this relationship for you. If you don’t do it now you’ll be tied to this piece of filth forever, he is vile.

Even more importantly you need to give your daughter a childhood where she lives in a happy and safe space. You need to take any help you can get and be free of him.

For your kids sake leave absolutely do not stay s services can help you get to saftey put them kids first

Well done for reaching out to family and friends.

Do you feel you can trust your line manager? Part of their job includes supporting people in a crisis and your employer may have employee assistance programmes including legal resources.

Well done on reaching out. Stay positive, you can do this.

I hope everything works out for you take care.

I hope they were supportive. Good luck with getting him out of your life.

If you don’t do this for you, do it for your daughter. She deserves a better life than living in that household.

if you’re in England, the number for women’s aid is 0808 2000 247.

can you contact your family and stay with them? And close work friends to confide in?

OP - massive congratulations your promotion at work.

It must seem very daunting at this stage but you can separate and divorce.

The sooner you start, the less of your money he will spend and get in the divorce.

MN-ers will talk you through it step by step.

I hope you get to talk to Women’s Aid soon, it can take a while to get through.

But Google emotional abuse.

Are there any family members who would help you if you tell them you want to leave? Even just support you and be someone who is on your side? They know how horrible he is because that’s why they don’t visit.

Do not let him know you are planning to leave. The period once a victim decides to leave and in the 12 months post separation is the most dangerous time for the victim and children.

Speak to the National Domestic Abuse Helpline: https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/

You are right, Women's Aid doesn't cover all areas. It doesn't cover mine.

You may also find it more helpful to speak to your local domestic abuse organisation as they will have good knowledge around local resources.

You can apply for an Occupation Order:

https://www.gov.uk/injunction-domestic-violence/eligibility-occupation

You're not on the floor. You're a hero! You are the sole support of this family: you're its strength, its foundations and its protecting roof. You can do anything! Your slob of a husband is the one on the floor. Sweep him out the door.

Citizens Advice Getting a divorce
If you need to speak with someone about your partner being aggressive
If your partner makes you feel anxious or threatened, you should get help.
If you’re a woman affected by domestic abuse, you can call Refuge or Women's Aid on 0808 2000 247 at any time.

What to do with children/home when you seperate

Do contact your local Citizen's Advice, they will be able to advise you what to do if you need help with housing. Some Citizen's Advice also have solicitors that provide a free half hour of advice or point you in the right direction. They can also tell you about any local Women's support groups. One local to me has solicitors who give free initial advice, housing, domestic violence advise/support, relaxation and craft workshops.

Law Works
LawWorks is a charity working in England and Wales to connect volunteer lawyers with people in need of legal advice, who are not eligible for legal aid and cannot afford to pay and with the not-for-profit organisations that support them.

Put the house on the market, tell him it's over and he needs to move out. Call the police and tell them he is abusing you. You can definitely move house. The police can help you

Begin by listening to the people on here and taking their advice. It seems very clear to many of us that you are in a highly abusive relationship. This is one of the very few relatively safe spaces where you will find support from people who have been through what you are dealing with or have professional experience. Take the support.

As to not being able to afford a solicitor. I get that you don't think you have the money to spare but for your own sake and your kids you can't afford not to. This man will continue to wear you down until you literally don't have the will or energy to get away from him.

Do not do this. He could escalate do everything as quietly as you can.

Let him know that you have spoken to womens aid and the police about his coercion, let him know you'll be reporting any further actions with the police, it would be in his interest to go quietly.

Log it with the non emergency police, ask for a meeting to discuss it.

You definitely need support to do this, womens aid will help.

This
You are being abused in the extreme OP
You need legal advice immediately
Don't waste a second more
PLEASE

You are a victim of domestic violence. ( coercive control) get it logged with the police. Keep diaries. Then contact a solicitor and you will get legal aid. Good luck. It won’t be easy but there will be light at the end of the tunnel

Why would you waste your life on him, why has he got so much control over your life, no bed, no friends, no family, house falling apart.
I hope you find the strength to leave the smelly waster.
If you can't find the strength in yourself, do it for your children.

Why will he not allow you to sleep in your own bed with him? Not that I imagine you'd even want to by this stage, but why not? How old is your child?

Does he do the full time childcare while you work? Because if not, I would just tell him he has to leave. Let him be the one to take you to court and force you to sell the house for his half. It doesn't sound as if he has either the energy or the brains to take on a legal fight and if you can't afford a lawyer then he certainly can't. Send him back to his mother. What will happen with the house will happen, but let it all drag out as slowly as you can, for as long as you can. Don't make it easy for him out of some misplaced sense of guilt or duty.

Could you contact your mortgage company and ask for a payment break? This would give you funds for a solicitor. As other people on here have said you need to contact Women's Aid or a local service.

He needs to leave, not you. Call the domestic abuse helpline.

Why is everyone telling the OP to leave the house? She pays for everything and she's the one suffering.
That great idle lump needs removing ASAP. Womens Aid will advise you as to how this can be done .

Why won't he let you sleep in your own bed/with him?

Call Women's Aid.
Get hold of all financial records so you know the state of the finances.
Securely collect important documents like childre's birth certificates and passports.

He sounds controlling.

I hope you can get support.

Essentially you are at the gathering information stage, it’s not practical for you to
just up and leave tomorrow when you have a child and mortgage.

So you need to consult and get information first and then use that to plan your escape route with your ducks in order. By the time you’ve done all
that you can execute your plan.