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AIBU?

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Original poster

Should we buy DD a car? (Very much a first world problem)

85 replies

CarolineCarr · 05/11/2025 09:19

We bought DS a car for his 18th birthday.

DD will be turning 18 at the end of the month and we can't decide whether we buy her a car- or rather, one of DH and I feels we definitely should and the other feels we definitely shouldn't. I'm going to try to set out the viewpoints without saying who is who.

Against buying a car- it won't get driven very much. Her test isn't booked until a week after her birthday (DS had already passed his on his 18th). She isn't a very keen driver at the moment and needs more confidence.

For buying a car- we should do the same for both our children. Thinking about whether she passes before or after the birthday is irrelevant and thinking about the amount it will be driven immediately is too short term- she might have it for the next decade.

Not in the mix- cost. We are in agreement that we have the money to do it without any difficulty at all and that this is not a factor.

Please vote (assigned at random, not according to who thinks what)

YABU- buy the car
YANBU- don't buy the car

OP posts:
EverardDeTroyes · 05/11/2025 09:27

I'm strongly of the opinion you should treat all your children equally, but that doesn't necessarily mean buying her the car now. You could always let her know you will buy her a car later when she has real need of it.

It isn't just about the purchase price when you say you can afford it. What about insurance, servicing, tax and petrol? Personally, we did not buy our children their cars, we left it until they felt financially able to take on both the purchase cost and running costs.

ComtesseDeSpair · 05/11/2025 09:26

Agree with asking her. If she doesn’t need or intend to drive much after she passes her test then it’s more economical to add her to your own insurance so she can borrow a car when she does need it rather than keeping a little-used car taxed, insured and MOTed/serviced. If she agrees, you can offer her the same value as DS had towards something else, or held back on promise for when she does decide she needs her own car.

Timbits007 · 05/11/2025 09:25

Another idea would be to give her money and say once she passes she can choose her own car?

randomchap · 05/11/2025 09:25

Buy it once she passes her test. If she fails it may be a while before she can re-book and the car will just sit on the drive doing nothing.

But tell her this is the plan, so she knows that she's being treated equally

Timbits007 · 05/11/2025 09:25

Her test is a week after her 18th birthday?

I can’t really understand why you wouldn’t buy her a car to be honest.

Surely you need a car to build confidence driving?

If you got DS a car for his 18th and your DD has interest to drive, her test a week after her birthday then obviously you buy her the car.

Pepperedpickles · 05/11/2025 09:23

If the cost isn’t an issue then the main thing is the dc get the same, otherwise it breeds resentment later on.

Redpeach · 05/11/2025 09:23

Cant they share a car

Coffeeishot · 05/11/2025 09:22

Just buy the girl a car, it will be there for when she passes her test,

PauliesWalnuts · 05/11/2025 09:22

Without trying to teach you to suck eggs - have you actually asked her what she'd like? I was asked if I wanted a car (which was what my parents presumed) but what I actually wanted (and got) was money to put to my Saturday job savings to go Interrailing around Europe over the summer hols. I didn't own a car until I was 25 and that was fine by me.

SwanSong30 · 05/11/2025 09:21

if You bought a car for DS then I’d buy a car for DD. Her confidence will grow and she will be able to practice in her own car