AIBU to not let Y7 DD walk home in the dark?

How many children have been abducted and murdered by strangers in the UK in the last 10 years?

Exactly! Otherwise that generation will be saying they can't come into work in the Winter because it's not safe to walk back from the station at 18.00!!

This.

An 11yo girl on her own on a dark street or footpath is an open invitation, especially if she takes the same route, same time every day.

I'd collect. What does your dd want you to do?

Last week I'd say you were being unreasonable.

But a 12yo boy at my boys school was mugged at knifepoint for his phone at 8.30 AM on Monday. My boys are now back to walking to and from school together and I would be reluctant to let them anywhere on their own in the dark

In a group at 5.30, no problem. On her own or after dinnertime, possibly not.

When DD was that age, her friend sometimes came to us after school, and then had a 10 minute walk back home at that sort of time. I think the first winter I saw her back if it was dark, then the next year she would either text her brother before she left ours, so he knew to expect her, or my DD would walk with her and then come back on her own, so I knew when to expect her back.

However everyone's area is different, so you have to do your own risk assessment; DD's routes were all well-populated, and I made sure she knew which houses had people we knew in (who were likely to be in), and also said that if she was worried about anyone on the street, and wasn't near any of those, that she should knock on any other door where people seemed to be in and ask them to call me. (The chance of happening to knock on a paedophile's door is miniscule!)

She's probably at a higher risk of harm getting into a car with you, so I'd let her. They need to start learning risk assessment at that age.

Year 7 not the age 7

As an grown woman my late 30's, I avoid walking alone down quiet roads in the dark. I would absolutely not be letting my 11 or 12 year old daughter take this route alone, and would only let her walk if there were other children with her.

16 primary school aged kids are injured every day in the UK on roads. While yours is a little older, the lack of lighting is a valid concern and I always think it’s better to be safe than sorry

If she is happy to do it, OP, then let her. Make sure she has some reflective strips on her clothing though. I'm more worried about them getting run over as school uniform is usually so dark and they are practically invisible to cars.

We picked up our year 7 daughter and son when it was dark.

It’s difficult but at some time she will need to do it on her own. Don’t be like one Mother I saw who used to walk her girls to the bus station literally 2 or 3 minutes walk. Then check them onto the bus one must have been at least 15. No apparent special needs and knowing the school they were at they wouldn’t have. We used to have students at the nursery 16 plus and they would have to go because Mother was waiting at the gate for them. It was on a really god bus route but they couldn’t get on or of a bus or wait for one.They had to have a lift. Needless to say they were very poor at showing any initiative.

She will have to get herself to and from places when she is 16, 21, 35, 50. She will still potentially run into nutters. She will have to do what all do. Make sure she has a phone, walk quickly, tell people where she is and when she is expected back. You can't baby her forever.
If she can walk with a friend, better.

I don’t understand all the people saying attacks are ‘very rare’. Yes actual abduction and murder is rare, but sexual assault and harassment are incredibly common. I wouldn’t let an 11 year old be in this situation (alone on a dark, secluded street) because at 11 they are still small and slight and most of them would just freeze if confronted with a threat.

By 15 or 16 they are physically bigger and capable of more mature judgement.

Only ever afraid to walk home in the dark when it's very late and there's nobody around.

But at 17:30 safety in numbers. At that time, there will be people coming home from work children. Leaving after school clubs some of them with their parents. Teenagers going home from college.That kind of thing. It won't be deserted, and that's the difference.

I'm a adult woman and sometimes I get the bus from the station rather than walk. But that would be because it's cold or wet or I'm tired, not because I'm afraid to walk in the dark.

I'm an adult grown woman and sometimes I will get collected from the station if it's dark, bad weather, or later than I would normally come home. It's not unusual for any adult of any age. Why is this such a strange thing to also do for children?

I met DS at corner of road in year 7 as he was nervous - he had about an 8 min walk from bus stop. I wasn’t particularly happy about going out in cold/dark myself but he was anxious, so I had to.

I wasn't sure if this was everyday? How do others facilitate it?

I am not being facetious, I genuinely don't know many people who could commit to a 5.30pm / 6pm pick up everyday.

The OP does explain in her posts that she can pick her DD up at 6 after a music club,

Exactly how would all those saying "Yes collect her" actually facilitate collecting at 5.30 every night?

Do people not work? Have other DC?

Once a week I could manage to collect DC2 (girl / will be Y7 next year) at 5.30pm but not everyday?

Our most likely school for DD is a 5 minute walk away through busy / well lit area. There is another school we have put first for her that involves quite a bit of travel - she is unlikely to get a place here - but my main reservation was the travel / coming home late and in the dark in winter. If she were to get this school I'd have to think long and hard about whether to send her [It's an excellent school]

Sorry that was a long winded way of saying that I get that we worry about our daughters, mine is weeny and looks a lot younger than her age so that adds to my concerns but I do not want to raise her to be afraid. She needs to understand risks, she needs to understand there are bad people and bad things can happen in a heartbeat but she also needs to learn to be independent and I don't want her default feeling if she has to be out in the dark, to be fear. Although of course I am not going to send her out, on her own on a dark winter evening for no reason.

However I cannot be in two places at once so if she did get the further away school then I couldn't collect her everyday and we'd have to manage travelling in the dark and negate as many risks as we can. God I hope we don't get this school and I can just send her to the nearby one!!!

The charity Action Against Abduction, formerly Pact, estimates that roughly 50 children under the age of 16 are abducted by strangers every year.

Its report Taken, which used data from UK police forces in 2011-12, found that 42% of all abduction attempts were made by strangers - and three quarters of the attempts were unsuccessful.

The average age of abducted children in the UK was 13, while the average age of children who suffered attempted abductions by non-parental perpetrators was 11, according to the report.

Action Against Abduction claims that most of these cases are sexually motivated, yet many attempted abductions are not reported to police.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-37504781

If you can pick her up from school and she gets more music practice in, that’s a win-win in my book. I wouldn’t let my DD (Y8) walk home in the dark as you’ve described — a man asked her to get in his van a couple of years ago while she was walking home from school, and on reporting it to the police I was shocked to discover how common this is. 😞

Is she happy to do it?