AIBU to not let Y7 DD walk home in the dark?

Oh please. Year &? Of course they can walk home in the dark. My DC had walks, tube and bus in yr 7 and on their own. They used to walk home on their own from Primary school aged 9 and 6.

Most parents can't though. Not everyone is an office worker you know. Shop workers, nurses, care workers certainly can't Not even all office workers are allowed to bugger off early. Imagine being in a call centre and everyone leaves to walk secondary school aged kids home

After school clubs are not compulsory at secondary. A child that doesn't want to attend us free to just leave the school premises

And what about kids who are so the school bus that get dropped off 10 mins from home. Or parents that have a toddler to collect from nursery at the same time?

Just because you may be one of tge privileged few,,,,

My son has been waking home in the dark..including later than this..since year yr6

People.need to evaluate actual risk not just unfounded fear of it being dark.

I’m able to work flexibly from 8:30-4:30 so I drop DD off in the morning around 8 and pick her up on my way home at 5 (she stays in after school clubs).
Our finance and accounting dept mostly have primary age kids, so they all use breakfast clubs and after school club, and work 8-4pm.
it’s not unusual to have a flexible schedule like that, where you have to be in the office for “core hours” eg between 10 and 4, but can shift your day earlier or later around that depending on childcare/school hours. Obviously not everyone can do that, but lots of people in office jobs are able to.

It's 10 mins on a route she knows well at 5.30 in the evening.

She will be fine! For goodness sake the amount of babying is crazy. She is 11 or 12 not 6.

And do not make her wear a head torch or a fluorescent jacket unless you want her bullied too. A reflective bag charm or patch for her coat is plenty.

How do parents of kids that manage manage to be around to collect them constantly though? Does no one have to be at work?

No I would not! I would be worried sick. Even with fluorescent jackets on, and most kids seem to remove these, they can be difficult to see and get run over. There was an adult in here recently saying she did not thinks she should have to leave work in the dark, which personally I thought was silly, but a child I would not allow! You do what you think is right don’t be swayed by other families.

She wouldn't stand a chance against a full grown adult sized male and that can be a 13 year old boy. I know Dh was already 6ft at 14 years old.

I live in a city so maybe my crime stats are more skewed but sexual assault happens way more than you would think Googling that for this thread is just awful. There are also crime maps you can check for what happens in that area.

I look back at the risks I took as a teen and honestly cringe. However my best friend was raped aged just 16 by a 22 year old man. That put a stop to walking back home from anywhere for obvious reasons.

She has a routine of walking back at a particular time. It doesn't take much for someone to clock that. I would collect her.

It would be a no from me unless I had certainty from the other parents that they are all walking home together, would update if child is not attending so you can make arrangements and no lengthy gaps between houses. 11/12 is still a pretty naive and trusting age for the average fairly sheltered child.

This is a difficult one, as we live on a normal suburban street with normal street lighting.
Though that said there are some roads around with lots of trees that make things seem darker.
I would defintely teach some situation awareness, as in don't wear headphones, etc, but this has to be managed without causing unnecessary alarm.
I think it also depends on your child, the nature of the roads, who else from school would be walking that way, and whether you both feel comfortable with it.
Maybe start with pickups, and see how it progresses.

Sure I would. I walked to and from school from the age of 6 (Europe), not year 6, but when I was 6 years old. And so did all my friends. Kids still walk to and fro school from the day they start, they come with a parent on the very first day and alone/with friends from then on.

There were no child street snatchings in my country afaik, except for one. Happened about 2 years ago, sadly. In the morning, in the daylight. The girl was snatched from the bus stop, she was 10 years old I think. She was found by police later on, alive, thankfully. But obviously it was horrible for her and her family. The perpetrator was just sentenced and jailed.

However, you can't live your life in fear like that.

Is 5:30pm in the dark any less safe than 5:30pm in the light? (Assuming here, she's walking on pavements and could carry a torch.) I don't think it's the case that predators see the sun go down and think, oh, now's my moment. If she was walking home at 10pm, that might be different.

She's also with friends, which massively reduces any risk. Also, if she's walking home from a secondary school, presumably you live in an area with adequate street lighting because it's going to be relatively built up.

I walked back in the dark from year 7 because the bus dropped me at the bus stop after dark, and I walked alone because I was only person getting off at my stop. Sections of the road had no street lights/houses. I don't think this was ever unsafe.

Of course it's fine, get het a torch and teach her self defence. She's not more vulnerable just because of her age. You going to keep her in during hours of darkness forever?

I walked home from secondary school at that age. 20 minute walk, a bus, and another 10 minute walk home. It was fine.

The chance of happening to knock on a paedophile's door is miniscule

what are the chances of knocking on the door of a Mumsnetter who never answers her door?

When DS was in year 7, we didn't let him walk home in the dark alone in the beginning. With friends, fine. And then over time that shifted. He got home at 5:30 yesterday after sport and I hadn't thought twice about being okay with it - he's year 10 now.

The thing I had to get my head around is that 5:30 and dark is actally quite different to 10:d0 and dark in ters of who is around, what is happening etc. My main concern in year 7 was more him being unaware and unalert and falling and hurting himself or doing something like rossing the road and not realising a car might not see him.

Its different if you have a car you can use though.

Lots of Year 7 girls and boys have been abducted and murdered? In this country? Over what time period? What are we talking about here?

I’m an adult woman & I don’t walk home alone in the dark if my route takes me down a deserted town/city/suburb street with pools of blackness as described. (I will do it in my village, but that’s a bit different.) Baffled by all these people who think this is ‘babying’.

For me it’s not about being abducted (surely pretty non existent risk), but about the risk of being mugged &/or having some weird man walk along with me causing alarm. Both of these things have happened to me - phone taken once, handbag another time, weirdo repeatedly meeting me on my walk - so why take the risk?

Even if she’s walking with friends, there will come a point at which one of them is alone- unless they’re all going into the same house, which presumably is not the case.

And in school, at home, in the park...

Usually to signify its Secondary School not Primary School.

Can she walk a different way that is lit rather than a side street?

Why would you write year 7 and not the childs age??

They get attacked in daylight also

'Some time' doesn't have to mean all the time. She clearly walks home with her friends, the question is about walking home in these specific circumstances and it's absolutely not necessarily to dance around the edges of responsibility.