Not using soap to wash hands

hydrangeadangerea · 2025-11-05T07:41:25+00:00

In a nutshell it’s comes to light that my DH doesn’t use soap to wash hands unless he is visibly dirty. So after wiping his bottom, his logic is, he doesn’t make contact with his bum himself so it’s fine to just rinse with some cold water. This is a massive, unforgivable ick to me and I don’t think I can over look it. Im a HCP so hygiene is engrained in my every move!

ThatFairy · 16/01/2026 17:56

DickDewey · 05/11/2025 07:45

There’s no point washing with just water. It’s not like rinsing off visible dirt after say, being in the garden. He may as well not bother.

Water on its own does clean. In science it's known as the universal solvent. Not as good as soap though

Yourcousinrachel · 16/01/2026 17:50

Tillow4ever · 05/11/2025 11:49

Slightly off topic, but feels a good place to ask. Does anyone know of a hand soap (preferably liquid as I hate the texture of bars) that either moisturises hands too or at least doesn’t dry them out so much? I suffer terribly with dry hands, have done since I was a teenager, but lately I am needing to go for a wee every hour instead of 2 or 3 times a day - it means my hands are getting drier and drier from the soap every time. I get through so much hand cream it’s ridiculous.

Sorry to steering the post away from the original question, it just didn’t feel worth its own post and you guys might be able to help me!

Pears liquid soap with 98 percent glycerin.

Tillow4ever · 07/11/2025 11:10

SingaporeSlinky · 07/11/2025 08:36

My hands crack and bleed when it’s cold, and a few years ago I read that it’s the liquid hand washes causing it. Since then I’ve only used good old bars of soap (usually Pear’s just because I like the smell) and have been 90% better since then.

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I used to use bar soap as a kid and teenager - I still suffered back then. I really, really cannot stand the feel of bar soap. I don’t know why, it’s really a massive struggle for me.

crappycrapcrap · 07/11/2025 10:43

Wetting his hands makes a nice breading ground for new germs.
Someone I know lets their child do this - he is always ill and snotty.

nuttymummy7 · 07/11/2025 09:52

use a hand cream everytime. I do the same. This is in response to person who finds hand s dry after frequent washing. Don’t know why it didn’t get posted directly under her question

Geneticsbunny · 07/11/2025 09:12

Buy some of that gel that glows under black light and stick it on the flush handle or loo roll and then see where it ends up and show him.

Topseyt123 · 07/11/2025 08:54

It's the soap that really cuts through and dissolves any grease, dirt and grime, which is there even though you can't always see it.

Washing without using soap is pretty ineffectual. Just rinsing really. Always use soap.

I'd tell him he's being disgusting.

summertime94 · 07/11/2025 08:48

This is disgusting! It would seriously give me the ick

Nannyfannybanny · 07/11/2025 08:46

Also was nursing over 40 years. I had colleagues who didn't wash their hands. Our trust used Sparkling Betty, then UV light to show up the "germs" you missed. The trick is to moisturise,I keep hand cream next to the handwash,DH likes bar soap. You might show this to the folk on MN who say it's not necessary to wash your hands because you use toilet paper. You are unreasonable to say ick though. My 3 year old dgd said it recently, and it's the only time I've heard it outside of MN.

SingaporeSlinky · 07/11/2025 08:36

Tillow4ever · 05/11/2025 11:49

Slightly off topic, but feels a good place to ask. Does anyone know of a hand soap (preferably liquid as I hate the texture of bars) that either moisturises hands too or at least doesn’t dry them out so much? I suffer terribly with dry hands, have done since I was a teenager, but lately I am needing to go for a wee every hour instead of 2 or 3 times a day - it means my hands are getting drier and drier from the soap every time. I get through so much hand cream it’s ridiculous.

Sorry to steering the post away from the original question, it just didn’t feel worth its own post and you guys might be able to help me!

My hands crack and bleed when it’s cold, and a few years ago I read that it’s the liquid hand washes causing it. Since then I’ve only used good old bars of soap (usually Pear’s just because I like the smell) and have been 90% better since then.

Tillow4ever · 07/11/2025 07:45

Thanks for all the tips! I’ve got some of the Eco one arriving today, but if that doesn’t seem to help, I’ve got plenty of others to try now it seems!

Panda69 · 06/11/2025 23:51

Also baby bubble bath or shampoo should be gentle on hands

Panda69 · 06/11/2025 23:44

Tillow4ever · 05/11/2025 11:49

Slightly off topic, but feels a good place to ask. Does anyone know of a hand soap (preferably liquid as I hate the texture of bars) that either moisturises hands too or at least doesn’t dry them out so much? I suffer terribly with dry hands, have done since I was a teenager, but lately I am needing to go for a wee every hour instead of 2 or 3 times a day - it means my hands are getting drier and drier from the soap every time. I get through so much hand cream it’s ridiculous.

Sorry to steering the post away from the original question, it just didn’t feel worth its own post and you guys might be able to help me!

L'occitane almond oil liquid soap,it's expensive but tiny bit goes a long way. Autistic son washes his hands alot,and they get very dry and sore in the winter,this has really helped,and it's no longer an issue,he does still moisturise hands too.Tip for making sure toi much not used each pump,is wrap and elastic band round pump stem on bottle,you can't push it down as far,so it dispenses a smaller amount

Tillow4ever · 06/11/2025 10:04

Octaviathethird · 05/11/2025 14:58

I get really bad eczema from most hand washes, the only ones I can use are the Bayliss and Harding ones that aren't antibacterial, Palmolive milk and honey, and (weirdly) the Asda smartprice one! Every time I see a new brand I give it a go but invariably it ends up being allocated for my husband to use!

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Thank you

Tillow4ever · 06/11/2025 10:03

Muldersmum · 05/11/2025 15:14

Thsts vile but selfish to other, I'd be giving him a towel of his own but seriously he vould be passing so many germs to you or others. I've become a bit of a germophobe since lockdowm. I ant bac spray my hands b4 & after using a supermarket trolley or basket. As soon as i'm home i wash hands well with warm water & anti bac soap twice..
To the persom re dry hanfs, i find any sensitive hamd wash is fine. Dove is good but not anti bac. Carex antibac sensitive I'm fine with also

Thanks. I’ve tried the Dove one but not Carex so I’ll give that a go!

Dampsquibs · 06/11/2025 09:43

I remember at a lecture years ago during my nursing course being told that the E.coli present in poo can pass through 6 layers of toilet tissue when wiping 💩

Original poster

hydrangeadangerea · 06/11/2025 09:35

I showed him this thread and he was mortified. Quite rightly. He accepts that he has been in the wrong and that it won’t happen going forward.

OP posts:

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 05/11/2025 15:16

Cold water's ok as long as you use soap and scrub properly, I think.

We wash our hands before and after dinner, after gardening, after being outside playing, and after any other dirty household jobs. We're absolutely not clean freaks, as you would immediately see if you came into our house, but it's one thing to get your hands dirty because what you're doing means you need to and another thing to just carry that dirt around with you all day for no reason!

CarterBeatsTheDevil · 05/11/2025 15:14

Pinkcactushouse · 05/11/2025 09:35

I think most men think like this.

Not mine! OP is right, that's gross.

Muldersmum · 05/11/2025 15:14

Thsts vile but selfish to other, I'd be giving him a towel of his own but seriously he vould be passing so many germs to you or others. I've become a bit of a germophobe since lockdowm. I ant bac spray my hands b4 & after using a supermarket trolley or basket. As soon as i'm home i wash hands well with warm water & anti bac soap twice..
To the persom re dry hanfs, i find any sensitive hamd wash is fine. Dove is good but not anti bac. Carex antibac sensitive I'm fine with also

JohnTheRevelator · 05/11/2025 15:03

🤢

chickenwings2 · 05/11/2025 15:02

Eeeeewwww

Octaviathethird · 05/11/2025 14:58

Tillow4ever · 05/11/2025 11:49

Slightly off topic, but feels a good place to ask. Does anyone know of a hand soap (preferably liquid as I hate the texture of bars) that either moisturises hands too or at least doesn’t dry them out so much? I suffer terribly with dry hands, have done since I was a teenager, but lately I am needing to go for a wee every hour instead of 2 or 3 times a day - it means my hands are getting drier and drier from the soap every time. I get through so much hand cream it’s ridiculous.

Sorry to steering the post away from the original question, it just didn’t feel worth its own post and you guys might be able to help me!

I get really bad eczema from most hand washes, the only ones I can use are the Bayliss and Harding ones that aren't antibacterial, Palmolive milk and honey, and (weirdly) the Asda smartprice one! Every time I see a new brand I give it a go but invariably it ends up being allocated for my husband to use!

mazedasamarchhare · 05/11/2025 14:47

Porridgespoon · 05/11/2025 12:06

Too much soap makes my hands very sore so I only do it when I feel it's really necessary.

I'm sure it's "revolting" but I and people around me don't seem to get ill any more than anyone else.

What do you call ‘really necessary?’ If not after going to the toilet, that’s grim🤮.
To the previous poster who asked about a non hand drying hand wash, the only one that doesn’t leave my hands dry and cracked is ecover lavender and aloe Vera. It’s not cheap, sometimes comes up on a deal with Amazon. I always keep moisturiser by the sink too. Just remember if you have opals in your rings take the ring off before moisturising as it can damage the stones.

Hollietree · 05/11/2025 12:52

He wouldn’t ever touch me again with those filthy germy hands. I’m not joking. I wouldn’t let him ever touch me again until I watched him wash his hands with soap first.

And he needs his own hand towel from now on - not rubbing his gross germs all over my clean towel for me to rub my freshly washed hands on.

Im not a germaphone. But he could seriously make you and your children ill.