To have been patronising to the Doctor?

You are absolutely right OP and well done for standing up for yourself. I once had to shout (something I rarely do!) at a doctor to give me antibiotics - the last time I had been fobbed off without them, I was hospitalised with sepsis.

Guess what? The doctor hadn't read the notes and seemed embarrassed I had pulled them up on it. I was handed a prescription fairly swiftly after that!

He was being completely unreasonable - maybe it wasn’t obvious on his screen that you’d had a kidney transplant, but if he’d let you talk, you would have been able to explain. I think your reasoning for wanting to complain - that others might not have the agency not to be fobbed off by his attitude and demeanour- is sound, and his position he ought to realise that sometimes what people don’t say is as important as what they do say, and focus on listening as much as broadcasting. The ‘dear’ was a particularly patronising touch.

I hope werent in a&e for too long and wishing you a speedy recovery 💐

I had similar from a nurse once. I'm asthmatic, but grew up with a mother who treated everyone else's minor ailments as something much worse than my asthma and was depressed, so.didnt keep on top.of my medication.

Went for my flu jab. Was kept waiting half an hour, then spent 20 minutes with the nurse. She concluded that my asthma was minor since I hadn't got a prescription for months and I was, and had been, wasting NHS money for years. She read through the list of those eligible and pointed out I wasn't on it. I remarked I'd go speak to the doctor and she went through the list again, telling me he'd say the same thing. She was awful in her manner and I left in tears.

A week later the receptionist asked if I'd had my jab and I told her what happened. She was horrified. She spoke to the doctor then made an appointment for me with him at a time she was working so she could back me up if necessary. I got thr jab with a request to get an asthma review.

It was the same woman. I lied and told her we'd never met. She upped my medication from what it had been and made me promise I'd take it. I wish I'd said something about our previous encounter on the way out.

I asked the next year if I'd have the same problem only to be told she'd been asked to leave her job. No surprise, really.

I'm just massively proud of you for standing up to him. So fed up of these kind of shitty attitudes I really am, but it's made so much worse by him trying to make YOU the reason communication failed. What a dick!

I'd seriously put in a feedback form or complaint about that doctor - that's so basic and a less confident transplant patient (or someone who reasonably assumed he did know they have a transplant) could have been sent away untreated.

I'm a doctor and usually think most mumsnet complaints about doctors to be a bit unreasonable, but you are most definitely NOT being unreasonable and he was incompetent!

You were not unreasonable @LiveTellyPhrase. I hope you are feeling better.

Some Drs are absolute horrors.

My cracker, in the fracture clinic, pribably a junior Dr. I had a badly broken, plated wrist and in the same fall had wedged a vertebrae. The cocodamol wasn't touching the back pain, the naproxen was but I had googled and read that naproxen could impact bone union. He said:

"Get your head out of the internet, it's full of nutters". He didn't answer my question. He was a rude git from the moment I stepped into the room.

This is often the difference between life and death. There is no point completing the notes if GP isn't going to read them. YANBU.

Really happy for you with your good outcome and comfort being a transplant recipient. This sounds like a way that works very well for you in appointments.
The person I know who received a kidney, though grateful, still has difficulty talking about it.
Also they defer to doctors and know that on screen, next to their name, will be info on allergies, taking immunosuppressents and being a transplant recipient. This information is highlighted. So they assume the Dr knows their name and the important information. They’d see it as rude to start with it - I’m NOT saying it’s rude as I think it can be helpful if it’s the type of GP who is open to being helped.
Obviously any hospital doctor is less likely to know anything about you so it needs to be on a flashing sign above the head, metaphorically.

I’d lead with the transplant at the very start because the appointment sounds frustrating and annoying.

This

I have an issue with my chest, it's like a version of asthma and anytime I catch a cold it generally turns into a chest infection and I've ended up hospitalised on numerous occasions. I went the the wrong doctor a while ago (there are only 2 at my surgery and 1 of them always a patronising pleb who I refuse to see, but on this case it was him or nothing). I explained my creaking, wheezing chest and how I knew it would be about to get worse and that I'd realised my rescue pack of steroids must have been short dated when I got them as they were now out of date. He listened to my chest and said I didn't have an infection there. I explained that I knew that but a short course of steroids would mean that I likely didn't end back with a worse issue or worse in hospital. I also explained I had something very important coming up and I couldn't afford to be ill for it. He demeaned it instantly saying 'Just because you have some kind of party or something coming up, I can't be giving you medication'. I asked him why he thought me flying 4500 miles for 3 days just for a medical (as I'm emigrating) was deemed a 'party'!?

Like OP I got 'oh you didn't say that' - I didn't think I had to, I just wanted the doctor to make sure I didn't get more ill as I inevitably would have (if he'd looked at my notes when I initially explained this, he would have seen that the pennies (cost price) pack of steroids would save a considerably more expensive hospital stay that neither I nor the NHS really want!!

He ended up giving me steroids and antibiotics that I didn't even want, but weirdly refused to replace my rescue pack despite me clearly showing that I am not taking them willy nilly or they wouldn't have had chance to go out of date 🤷

Ooops, that's a long post, but basically I hear you OP, all too clearly!

Please write a letter of concern to the Practice Manager!!
Not only should he have at least glanced at your notes (being a transplant recipient should be highlighted for multiple reasons), but having missed it he should have apologised. But also you need to check how he documented the meeting too. If you have a good relationship with your renal team you could let them know too.

I know someone with a kidney transplant and, just as you’ve highlighted, they wouldn’t have spoken up as you did. They would have deferred to the GP and their transplant could have been at risk. His behaviour was not acceptable.

You were not unreasonable. I also try to start with my relevant medical condition when starting the consultation. For one the best are the doctors (including some specialists) who will say it’s not something they’ve dealt with before. There is a specialist in London and that’s pretty much it.

On the reading the background for some reason there are two ways of getting appointments online for my GP. both ask for details of the reason for contact, , but only one can be seen by the GP. Madnes.

Good for you, OP. Complain to the Practce Manager.

He is a bad doctor. Can you change practice or have it put on your notes that you don't want to see him again (I'm not sure if you can do that in the Uk but you can in the US).

Well done for standing up for yourself. It's a long hard battle for the chronically ill or those with "invisible" conditions. I know that myself and I'm proud of you.

And I think the badge is an excellent idea. 😂

I don’t know why some HCPs think patients are idiots. Why ask “did you google that”? I have no medical training, have never had appendicitis and have never googled appendicitis, but I could easily list those 5 symptoms of it just from general knowledge.
You’d hardly listed the unusual symptoms of a rare disease!

The Dr was acting like an arrogant arse.
However, it is not always possible to read everyone’s notes before every appt (especially in a non specialist environment), starting with the most important information. An save everyone time

I often get asked if I'm a doctor/medic.

No. I am an intelligent degree educated professional who can read. I have a medically complex child, I've read widely on her condition including a huge amount of the latest research on it. I tend to understand far more than the average GP about it.

Doctors would do better to respect patients and be delighted by people with a useful bank of knowledge.

I would complain. The ‘bububub’ alone is unacceptable. As you rightly said, you were able to advocate for yourself, but not everyone can.

So well said

A lot of doctors are incredibly arrogant. They expect patients to be completely uneducated and tend not to handle it well when they have a knowledgable one.

I have learned to say:

'I have heart failure, inoperable gallstones due to my co-morbidities, if you do x y and z i can be out of here in 4 to 6 hours. If you do not, the chances are ill go into a fast AF as a response to the spasming and pain levels, risk a bile duct blockage and I'll be with you for a week or to (unless I you actually kill me).'

However whilst this cuts out the 'bubububub' shit, I then get the snarky 'oh are you a medic' or 'oh did you google that' bullshit. No, I did neither, I just know my body and conditions, know you won't read the notes til a week next Tuesday and have been round this particular rodeo several times now.

Before I took this approach, I'd have to endure loads of faffing whilst they tried to work out what was wrong, deny what was actually wrong, try to stuff oral medications down me which I would immediately vomit back up - give me IV cyclazine which makes me trip my tits off (fun, but not very good for you once that phase wears off)... its all a bit of a palaver. I once ended up in for three days whilst a dr who had not read my notes tried to schedule me for a surgery I absolutely could not have, but didn't actually tell me this is why he was hanging on to me (and had he, I'd have told him it wasn't possible). When he DID finally come and say 'well we're going to discharge you now your pain is under control as it turns out we can't operate on you' I said (no longer in a morphine fug) 'But of course you can't... you told me that 6 months ago' . Yup, he hadn't even realised he'd SEEN me before!

Patients can help themselves sometimes by cutting to the chase and delivering the key information swiftly - however many times, for many reasons, they won't be able to - if I am off my tits on IV morphine, or in screaming agony, I am going to talk total biscuits at you. It is the medics job to take a proper history, check any available notes and handover information, it is not MY job, the suffering patient, to pander to their poor bedside manner and lack of people skills.

Doesn't their computer system have a warning box pop up which states you have a kidney transplant? However the GP sounded awful in this case.

He talks over her, he patronises her and it's her fault because she didn't get the first 5 words right?
No, sorry, can't agree about that.

Great idea, but would a t-shirt be better? And you are not being unreasonable, so thanks for this and to everyone else who's had similar experiences. Knowing it's not just me is a massive relief. I would speak to the practice manager if I were you and ask if your status as a transplant patient could be pinned to the top of your notes rather than complaining. Go on the 'it'll save your valuable time and make things easier for me when I'm feeling lousy and scared because I know what can happen and I hate hospitals' line.