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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Does it matter to you if your kids are neat/well turned out/well dressed

127 replies

Eroney · 04/11/2025 23:22

Hi all, my DD who is 4 recently started school, it’s a really lovely all girls prep. I’ve noticed of the 32 children in her year there is a real split, about half of them always come to school seemingly perfectly turned out, hair always super neat etc. then the other half tend to have there hair in a slightly messy pony tail, cardigan half on etc.
We have done a few play dates now and I’ve noticed that the children who are always super neat for school are also the children who are in planned outfits etc. outside of school. Personally I wish I was one of the neat put together mums but in reality my daughter’s hair is always frizzy, a little messy and just about in a ponytail. On the weekends it’s just whatever is clean and fits, rarely a planned outfit.
Im close friends with one of the put together mums and I live in some sort of envy of her, she works 3 days a week but still her children who both have curly hair come to school with perfect little ringlets, neat uniform etc. I have no idea how she is doing it tbh. My sister is under the opinion the put together mums probably have the least fun but I spend a lot of time with my close friend and she doesn’t care if her kids get dirty or messy or if their hair ends up half out, she just makes sure they always start the day/activity well put together. She is also incredibly well put together, I’ve never seen her do the school run and not have her hair done and a nice outfit on.
AIBU to envy these mums? Does your children’s outfits/hair/presentation matter to you?

OP posts:
JipJup · 04/11/2025 23:26

It depends on the occasion.

They always went to school looking clean and smart, but came home looking like they'd been stuck down a sewer all day.

Going to the park/seaside/theme park etc, I wasn't too fussed what they looked like as long as they were comfortable.

I think your sister is wrong though.

Some kids are just very compliant when it comes to having their hair done, and some kids have fun but appear to stay cleaner than mine did most of the time 🤷‍♀️

SuccinctlySaidSusan · 04/11/2025 23:23

These kids are four. Why are you devoting so much attention to their appearance?