Hen party drama

Why ignore the comments that presumably align with the feelings of the cousin? Surely that's helpful to the OP who wants to know if the cousin is unreasonable or not. It shows both sides of the argument.
You can enjoy what you like and have opinions on it, as can those who think it's tacky/exploitative/gross.
I don't want someone serving me food and drinks with their arse out and think it's revolting 🤮. Cousin shouldn't be chastised for having her own feelings about it, or made to feel like she's a shit friend for not just going along with it. I agree that they should just let her make her own decision and leave her to it rather than making her feel like an outcast for having her own standards.

Not sure why you get to tell me what I can and can’t say, but I can’t do the same for OP.

I'd hate it, too. It's so juvenile.
Plus who wants to see a man's naked bum when you're eating or drinking? 🤮 🤢

Yes, that’s right. Well done! Still room for improvement - I haven’t said what segment of society I’m from. You have assumed that so perhaps brush up on comprehension and the bigger picture.

You told the OP to ignore other comments, you could express your view without doing that. Alas, I do get to point out that you cannot just sweepingly override loads of other comments.

I can't imagine why anybody would find that kind of activity amusing! I would absolutely hate it and cringe with embarrassment. Why is it considered funny for people to take their clothes off in public??

Override? 🤣 It was just my advice to the OP. Whilst we’re at it, “you don’t get to” tell me what I can and can’t post.

Eh, you don't get to override multiple comments that you happen to disagree with.

It's totally not my cup of tea and I don't think I'd fork out to attend something like that. Yabu to expect her to go if she really wouldn't enjoy it though. What would that achieve for anyone?
Arrange to catch up with her separately .

Ugh. I feel so sorry for the cousin. Bitched about, made to feel awful for being the odd one out and no support from the bride. Yet she’s the only one with any integrity.

Ignore everyone on here with their comments about a butler in the buff evening being tacky.

Leave your cousin to it. If everyone else genuinely is happy to pay for/ take part in the evening, it should go on as planned and she can just choose not to go, that’s up to her. Don’t change the plans for one person, if it’s something everyone else is looking forward to.

nah - i don't like things like that and i wouldn't go either.

I don't drink prosecco and this "prosecco drinking screeching women ogling buff men" vibe is really not my scene.

So cousin just doesn't go, and you can all enjoy yourselves? Or cousin goes on the weekend and doesn't attend that dinner?

I’d step away from the hen too. I’d assume that the tone of the whole event, not just the meal, would be something I’d absolutely loathe and struggle to endure with good grace. It would be no reflection on the bride and would enable others who would enjoy that sort of thing to have fun without enduring someone in the party who was uncomfortable.

it's not part of the course 🙄 I didnt have anything like for my hen recently nor been on one with similar. you can change it

Not so. PP are trying to show the OP that we don't all "want to oggle naked men after a few Proseccos" and that her cousin seems to feel the same as a large number of MNers. It has nothing to do with her relationship with/ lack of respect for the OP, it's just the way she is and the OP should respect her desire NOT to take part in (and pay for) such an activity.

" We all secretly like a bit of eye candy when we’ve had a few Prosecco’s don’t we? "
What the fuck ? Did you escape from a Hollyoaks episode ?
😂😂😂
Lovely, don't degrade yourself. I am sure you can carry yourself with a bit more class.

No.

The low, low, low bar for men on Mumsnet.

It is your cousin's choice whether or not they attend and they can't force everyone else to change it just because of them.

I would hate it myself though, so don't blame her.

I don't like 'eye candy', prosecco or naked men. It would be my nightmare 😅

Agreed. Definitely no ‘we’ do not ‘all’ like it.

That's a really sad view you have of the world

Jesus Christ, butlers in the buff.
What kind of desperate attention-seeker muppet would go for that crap in 2025? I can’t think of a more brain-dead spectacle.
You would do well to listen to your cousin. Kudos to her for going against the grain and pushing back against the rest of the group. It is not easy to be vocal in this kind of situations but at some point common sense must triumph over the herd mentality,

Butlers in the buff! Yuck

Your proposed response is unreasonable. Lots of people would be uncomfortable with this plan, so if she wants to bow out just accept it.

You're not in the WA group, so I'd just thank the other person for the headsup and then either do nothing, or ask the organisers to change it.

It really isn't a drama. Plenty of people decline hens.