To find it uncomfortable when parents of MULTIPLE children complain about these things…

I've seen a few videos of gender reveals like that coming up on FB. I'm never sure whether or not they're genuine.

They tend to be Tik-Tok videos that have been re-posted on other platforms - sometimes there's a screaming mother; sometimes an irate father; sometimes you get a picture of a toddler bursting into tears because it wanted a brother, not a sister, or vice-versa.

Personally wouldn't put being annoyed about others gender disappointment into the same bracket as people moaning about it taking longer to get pregnant.

It took us 7 years to get pregnant with my first so when it came to the second, I was fully prepared for another long uphill battle (ended up being 2nd month trying). If I had got pregnant first time trying twice, I would then worry/moan if, when I tried again, it just didn't seem to be happening and was giving me months and months of negative tests. It's normal to worry when things happen outside of your personals 'norms'.

Gender disappointment though, that's ridiculous so yanbu about that.

People do this? Know they write on here-at least there is anonymity. Didn't know that about videos. They should keep it to themselves. Lack.of thought re potential discovery by 'disappointment later. 🙄

i get what you’re saying and it doesn’t invalidate their feelings but I actually think it’s somewhat refreshing that they reflected on their own experience and gained some perspective.

I think too many people only look at the world through their own lens. If we put ourselves in others shoes a bit more, many of us would be more grateful for what we have. It’s ok to feel your feelings but don’t lose perspective on what really matters.

I feel for the kids i know what its like being in a family that didnt want you because you was a girl.
I also know what its like to know your parents had a favourite child.
Kids pick up on these things and pick up on them very quick.
I knew from about 4.

I can't have children and thankfully I've never had jealousy of those who can and do. I just don't think that way, their children have zero impact in my situation.

Life is just unfair sometimes and you've got to suck it up and get on with it.

That said, the gender disappointment people...what a load of emotionally immature, self indulgent crap. If anything other than a happy, healthy child is the desired outcome, they shouldn't even be having kids.

I will never fathom the gender disappointment me and hubby couldn't have cared less we loved our brood as it grew no matter what they were

Could not agree more. I find gender disappointment morally reprehensible and the lowest of the low.

We've been going through a tough time as a family and I've had to be the one holding it all together. Last week we had a particularly tough week and at work this week, a crappy email cracked my veneer and I was upset. A colleague said to me that, having heard about the situation (very complex and complicated) she felt bad for getting annoyed about something that happened to her that morning, because, 'It doesn't even come near to what you are going through!'

My response? 'It's not Top Trumps - you have valid emotions in the context of your situation and hou shouldn't be afraid to feel them!'

It's madness to think that people's feelings are not valid in their own bubble, whether or not we think we'd feel the same way in the same situation.

I don't put my life on the Internet for all to see, but my feelings and situation don't automatically make anyone else's invalid - it's just different.

Our feelings are often irrational. Looking through that lens I can understand gender disappointment.

I can't understand spreading awareness of it as opposed to dealing with it privately.

I suspect the reason they have that many is down to gender disappointment. If they'd had one of each they might have stopped.

My SIL swore up and down she was done when pregnant with her second. Ended up having 3 girls and a boy, and I do wonder what they'd have done if #4 had been a girl too.

I’ve never heard anyone actually say that and if I did; I would massively judge them for it and not hang out with them.

Sorry, deleted.

I don't have a problem with gender disappointment - people feel how they feel.

Plastering it all over social media however..

But then I suspect these people are total idiots in general

Yes, I judge people who get really upset because they're baby isn't the sex they want! I've seen videos of people screaming and crying about it and it's just pathetic. I was convinced DS was a girl until my 20 week scan. When the sonographer asked me how I'd feel about having a boy, I said I know some very sweet little boys, and she said I'd be having a very sweet little boy. I did feel disappointed, for all of ten seconds, and then got over it. I didn't say anything, I didn't do a stupid video about it. It's ridiculous.

100% this….xx

Even more upsetting when someone tells you how easy it was to get an abortion, and how 'inconvenient' it would have been to have another baby. Still upsets me now when I had a miscarriage and this person was literally bragging about her abortion on the same ward.

An unpopular opinion now but I think no one has a ‘right’ to be a parent. I think everyone feels very entitled now when it comes to having children. I don’t think this used to be the case. It’s all about the parents and nothing about the actual children imo and it makes for crap parenting.

You've made me tear up. Life's not fair.

I’m so sorry.

Even when I was going through losses, one of my friends told me she understands how hard grieving is because it took her seven months to conceive her fourth child as her others were first month tries.

Wow. What a self absorbed, tone deaf cow.

I think some people see parenthood as having little children as accessories, rather than raising another person to adulthood.

My mum would always say how pleased she was to have a boy and a girl, because it meant she had "the set". She talked about this all the time. Unsurprisingly she was a crap parent who smothered and then lost interest in me (the girl) once I got older.

I guess my point is that you can feel your feelings, but don't inflict those feelings onto your friends, your existing kids, or the earth's burgeoning population, please.

Completely!

I understand people have these feelings of gender disappointment and I think somewhere like MN is a good place to share these feelings and find support. I often see threads asking people to tell them what’s great about having a girl/boy and the contents are just the loveliest glimpse into parenting the opposite sex.

However, the instagram reels with the older siblings faces, posted publicly where the unborn child could find it one day of grown adults throwing temper tantrums for views because it’s not the sex they were hoping for? Disgusting. If a gender reveal goes wrong: delete the video!!!!

I commented on a Tiktok thing when a dad was overcome with joy because they were having a boy after 4 girls.
I said about a relative of mine who had 3 girls and kept going until she got a boy and the girls always knew he was the golden child and the most wanted.
I got torn to shreds but seeing the damage it can do had an effect on me.

Yes totally agree. Just love them and appreciate them for who they are.