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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Men!

58 replies

Mummy621 · 04/11/2025 19:33

Am I being unreasonable here?? Iv been busy with the kids all day while partner been at work 6-2 so Iv had two kids home all day then picked the rest up from school been rushed off my feet since they got home then just made 8 kids dinners then made the baby a bottle and came sat down and said do you need me to get him his response “what now he’s asleep” so I said eh I’ll happily sit on my backside holding the baby whilst you do everything else I don’t mind he obviously didn’t respond but it’s annoyed me sooo much

OP posts:
Original poster
Mummy621 · 04/11/2025 23:03

ToKittyornottoKitty · 04/11/2025 23:01

People have just gone off what you’ve said in your OP, your post implied you had 9 children and that is a lot and unusual. And you’ve said you were both busy all day, him working you with kids, then when all kids are home you’ve cooked while he’s held the fussy baby, which doesn’t sound unfair on either of you, sounds like splitting the jobs. Your OP missed the back story maybe

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I’m new to this and don’t know how long post are allowed to be 🙈 I wasn’t trying to be rude to anyone so I do apologise to anybody I offended

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · 04/11/2025 23:01

Mummy621 · 04/11/2025 22:57

I’m just trying to explain it’s me always doing the cooking and stuff because he would rather just hold the baby then make me feel crap because he’s had hold of the baby iv not just been sat on my backside leaving him to deal with the baby, I didn’t mean to come across as rude to anyone

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People have just gone off what you’ve said in your OP, your post implied you had 9 children and that is a lot and unusual. And you’ve said you were both busy all day, him working you with kids, then when all kids are home you’ve cooked while he’s held the fussy baby, which doesn’t sound unfair on either of you, sounds like splitting the jobs. Your OP missed the back story maybe

Original poster
Mummy621 · 04/11/2025 23:00

Tryingatleast · 04/11/2025 22:58

I don’t think you were particularly snappy- I think people heard 8 and you answered as you would!

Yeah that kind annoyed me as even if I did have 8 why would that matter to anyone and nobody should ever judge anyone for the amount of children ect

OP posts:
Tryingatleast · 04/11/2025 22:58

I don’t think you were particularly snappy- I think people heard 8 and you answered as you would!

Original poster
Mummy621 · 04/11/2025 22:57

ZoggyStirdust · 04/11/2025 22:55

I think it’s because you’re not clear in what you’re posting and what you’re unhappy about, and then you’re a bit snappy with other posters.

Edited
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I’m just trying to explain it’s me always doing the cooking and stuff because he would rather just hold the baby then make me feel crap because he’s had hold of the baby iv not just been sat on my backside leaving him to deal with the baby, I didn’t mean to come across as rude to anyone

OP posts:
ZoggyStirdust · 04/11/2025 22:55

Mummy621 · 04/11/2025 22:54

I’m not getting aggressive I just don’t feel people are seeing my point and asking how many kids and stuff then making statements about the amount of kids I had here I just find it really rude tbh

I think it’s because you’re not clear in what you’re posting and what you’re unhappy about, and then you’re a bit snappy with other posters.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 04/11/2025 22:54

Mummy621 · 04/11/2025 22:51

My question was about my parent I didn’t complain about running around after the children I complained about his reaction nevermind I’d rather not respond as I feel your being rude and judgemental have a good day

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Well you are wrong and snippy. Have a good day yourself.

Original poster
Mummy621 · 04/11/2025 22:54

I’m not getting aggressive I just don’t feel people are seeing my point and asking how many kids and stuff then making statements about the amount of kids I had here I just find it really rude tbh

OP posts:
ZoggyStirdust · 04/11/2025 22:54

Mummy621 · 04/11/2025 22:52

I didn’t say he was lazing around I said he was holding the baby I was all day then doing stuff for kids after school until I offered to get the baby my issue was his reaction when I offered to get the baby my point is I’d happily sit on my backside holding the baby whilst he did everything for the kids

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Nope still not seeing what’s wrong with holding a cranky baby

Original poster
Mummy621 · 04/11/2025 22:52

ZoggyStirdust · 04/11/2025 22:50

So he was holding the baby, you said you’d take the baby and said he was just lazing around.

not sure what he’s done wrong tbh

and you getting all aggressive on here over nothing isn’t a good look

Edited

I didn’t say he was lazing around I said he was holding the baby I was all day then doing stuff for kids after school until I offered to get the baby my issue was his reaction when I offered to get the baby my point is I’d happily sit on my backside holding the baby whilst he did everything for the kids

OP posts:
Original poster
Mummy621 · 04/11/2025 22:51

ToKittyornottoKitty · 04/11/2025 22:49

It’s a fairly basic question on a thread you’ve started about running around after all your kids and your husbands laziness about it. It’s not like I asked you what colour your car is.

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My question was about my parent I didn’t complain about running around after the children I complained about his reaction nevermind I’d rather not respond as I feel your being rude and judgemental have a good day

OP posts:
ZoggyStirdust · 04/11/2025 22:50

So he was holding the baby, you said you’d take the baby and said he was just lazing around.

not sure what he’s done wrong tbh

and you getting all aggressive on here over nothing isn’t a good look

ToKittyornottoKitty · 04/11/2025 22:49

Mummy621 · 04/11/2025 22:16

What’s that got to do with anything or anyone?

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It’s a fairly basic question on a thread you’ve started about running around after all your kids and your husbands laziness about it. It’s not like I asked you what colour your car is.

Original poster
Mummy621 · 04/11/2025 22:41

Thepeopleversuswork · 04/11/2025 22:34

YANBU about this situation but I can’t bear it when people say: “Men!” As if its an inviolable law of nature that they are all useless feckless workshy losers.

Its not “men” its “this man”. Yes he’s useless but why are you tolerating it?

My apologies I shouldn’t of worded it like that I was just annoyed

OP posts:
Original poster
Mummy621 · 04/11/2025 22:41

AmIthatSpringy · 04/11/2025 22:35

Leaving aside the number of children, what does it mean, who did you offer to "get"?

I offered to get the baby because he’s been cranky due to teething and he was holding him when I was busy

OP posts:
AmIthatSpringy · 04/11/2025 22:35

Leaving aside the number of children, what does it mean, who did you offer to "get"?

Thepeopleversuswork · 04/11/2025 22:34

YANBU about this situation but I can’t bear it when people say: “Men!” As if its an inviolable law of nature that they are all useless feckless workshy losers.

Its not “men” its “this man”. Yes he’s useless but why are you tolerating it?

sharkstale · 04/11/2025 22:31

LocalHobo · 04/11/2025 21:43

Did your DP suggest the DC had friends over for supper? If so, he certainly should have been the one catering for them.

I don't think any parent particularly wants extra kids over, but you do it for the kids. So I think that's a moot point.

Original poster
Mummy621 · 04/11/2025 22:16

ToKittyornottoKitty · 04/11/2025 22:06

How many are yours then?

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What’s that got to do with anything or anyone?

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · 04/11/2025 22:06

Mummy621 · 04/11/2025 21:42

Just to clarify not all the children were mine not that I feel that would or should make a difference

How many are yours then?

LocalHobo · 04/11/2025 21:43

Did your DP suggest the DC had friends over for supper? If so, he certainly should have been the one catering for them.

Original poster
Mummy621 · 04/11/2025 21:42

Just to clarify not all the children were mine not that I feel that would or should make a difference

OP posts:
Screamingabdabz · 04/11/2025 21:40

I’m sorry op, I sympathise and know the frustration and exhaustion but I voted YABU because you’re enabling the useless lump. Stop trying to be superwoman and tell him to get his arse into gear.

Original poster
Mummy621 · 04/11/2025 21:39

NConthe · 04/11/2025 20:11

I don’t really understand the do you need me to get him stuff but, 9 kids?!

When in the post did I say I had that many, the kids had friends over!

OP posts:
Brelim · 04/11/2025 21:39

Sorry you have such a shit man in your life, especially one who is a role model for your children.