So my adult son has a 3 y/o daughter who he has sole custody for. Mother walked out deciding she didn’t want to be mum and has gone no contact with child. Very sad for all involved. He was evicted from his home as had to give up work to care for her alone. Had to stay in hotels in a different town for around 6 months then moved to a parent and child shelter in home town before finally being accepted for social housing. So granddaughter especially has had very unsettled time this last year. He has now been in new house for around 4 months, he’s messy, won’t let anyone in so knows he has an issue but won’t do what he needs to do. I understand he’s probably overwhelmed. I myself raised 3 children in my 20’s alone after suffering dv from their dad. And am raising another 3 as a 40 something 2 teens (1 with significant special needs,)and a 9 y/o. I help where I can mostly but sometimes it feels like it’s expected of me regardless of how I feel. My son has started to date a lady down the other side of the country he met online. The first time he met her he took gd with him. I had a pop at him and said if I did that to meet a man off the internet with a baby with me there would be uproar and there’s nothing different in regards to risk because he didn’t at that point know for certain who he would be meeting. So the next time he went (3 days) I had grand daughter, he came home a day late after dropping her to mine with minimal belongings and clothes, I went shopping and spent £300+ on clothes and essentials for her. No thanks off dad for that. Then he wanted to go again a month later I said no as I’d already had a convocation with him regarding him demanding for me to look after her while he worked, he wanted me to have her overnight during the week for the whole week, so essentially I look after her for 5 days a week full time and he will pop by before work and have her on the weekends. I did have her a few nights a week at the start of summer hols but had already booked a week away camping with my own children so told him I couldn’t do those weeks, I got the feeling he was expecting me to take her but I said no. That was planned for my own children. He started having his dad look after her, which in itself is a real concern as the man was very violent with me when we were together and had been on and off drugs (anphetamines) for at least 20 years so has periods of psychosis, we have been split up for 20+ years but he tries his hardest to find out where I live. Has told my kids he’s got trackers on my car ect over the course of the last 18 months yet my son deams him suitable to leave granddaughter with him while he goes off for between 4 and 7 days at a time. I’m at my wits end and honestly scared for my granddaughters overall wellbeing. It’s getting to the point I feel like social services should be involved but I don’t want to be the one to make that call. I don’t know what else to do. I have said all of this to him but he doesn’t seem to see the issues. I’ve even had a frank conversation with him about the fact he doesn’t seem to with his actions be a father and told him as much as it would break all of us if that’s what it is he needs to do what’s in her best interest. He cried but nothing improves. I just don’t know what to do anymore.