Hoarder in-laws want us to inherit their stuff

I agree with this. This would be devastating to a hoarder. Just accept that you will have to do this for them.

So just leave it. If there's anything left after care home fees and your in-laws have actually died, then is the time to work out whether it's worth you doing anything or just writing the sheds and their contents off. Why would you bother with the 20 billion stays to clear junk etc. ? Live your life and stop resenting your in laws - you are choosing to get involved, you are not legally obliged.

If you’re lucky they might even take some photos of the house and put it on the market for you to save you a job!

Have they completed their own probate application yet?

💯

I don't think they're looking to save themselves money, tbh - I think they just don't want me to expect any of them to attend the funeral.

You're looking at a massive amount of money coming in when the time comes.

They are hoarders, which is a mental illness caused by things you probably know nothing about. And when they're both doing it, it's much harder to stop.

Their stuff around them probably makes them feel more secure.

Telling them 'you have to get rid of the stuff you love and feel better having around you at this end of your life to make lives easier for us, the people who are getting your house' is unkind and rather callous.

Think of it as a last service, a last duty you'll perform for them.

When you visit, familiarise with the contents so you know if there are any pieces that must not go to clearance. Sounds mercenary but look at it as saving good pieces from getting junked.

Once they're secure , you might consider having an open house where people can come and take what they like. Invite charities, shelters, etc. Dealers may scoop up dvds without you having to do anything. Sell or give, whatever.

Then bring in the house clearance for the rest. See it as an investment in your new property.

Apologies to the poster who I referenced. My internet connection today is spasmodic and causing problems and closing down intermittently.

So selfish my in-laws are just heading to care homes and have left us with an absolute headache and financial issue by all of their selfish hoarding. We’ve had the very rural very run down manky house valued and frankly I’m tempted to set fire to the darn thing or hire some diggers and flatten it.

By the time we’ve traveled up, sorted, cleared paid to stay local x 20 billion times the house value doesn’t warrant the bloody bother, it’s all going on care fees anyhow.

there are sheds, house, barns you name it piled high of “valuable” crap. Makes me so mad.

It doesn’t apply to me. I have a lovely and caring adult child. I was referencing a quote to a post from someone who was leaving her estate to grabby cousins who suggested she have a direct cremation ostensibly to save money being taken from their share of the estate…bloody @2cubesoficeandasliceoflime cheek of them!
My mistake, I should have replied to to the original poster.

One man’s ’house full of stuff’ is another man’s ‘hoarder’. No matter. They value their possessions, you don’t. Smile sweetly, when the time comes pick what you want then get a clearance firm in.

IME it is best not to think about it until the time comes. It will only cause great stress for you and them if you try and force them to deal with it now.

I’d say ‘How kind, we will treasure it all’ and as soon as they have popped their clogs, I would bin the lot.

Clearly they're not true hoarders, they just have a lot of stuff you don't want.

Presumably gaining the house, you come out of it very profitably even with clearing expenses, so I don't think you have cause to keep nagging them.

But seriously, why leave your money to horrible relatives who don't give a toss about you when you can leave it to a charity of your choice - so that your money can do some real good after you die? Surely that's the way to go?

The older I become the more I realise that many, many people are self serving uncaring grabbers. The realisation of this from my own family of origin is quite shocking. I will add, not all people are like this…there are some lovely caring gems out there.

Crystal, China etc are very collectible. Take to local charity shop and they send to auction. They got over £600 from my in laws crystal plus could claim back tax. We all kept 1 piece of it mine was a very useful nice bucket. Was good to see someone benefiting. And my fil was happy to see it go to others to enjoy

I've considered that, but apparently it can cause problems when the estate is being settled.

Anyway, it might well be a moot point. If reach the stage that I need to move into a care home, then the house will be sold.

They have shown care towards me in other ways, to be fair - and I have very fond memories of their parents.

I’d be grateful if someone offered me to inherit a big house like this. Tell your in laws I can take it with all the rubbish if you don’t want 😀

Silly to get worried

they may live for a decade or two longer and here you are, worrying

just leave it

when they die your husband can get a clearing company, it’s what I did with my parents house

job done

no need to already fret over something like this

The thing is though, whether it is reasonable or kind to expect your in-laws to get rid of their treasured ‘stuff’ before they’re actually dead. Possessions are never just things. They are memories, identities, biographies, treasures. I’ve advised my children to put everything in a skip when I shuffle off, but until then I enjoy spending time with my valueless stuff because it is meaningful to me and gives me pleasure.

Huh? Four kids and they're leaving it to just one? Why? And if that is the case, why not make up your mind that it won't be "falling" to you? You don't have to clear anyone else's mess - certainly not when they treat you like that.

on the other hand they are the ones saying that all that stuff is coming to OP and her DH whether they want it or not, which is also a pretty dick move.

We have this to a far lesser degree in my family. Some of the things are useful, some... less so. All the family know that if an offer "oh would you like this" meaning "do you want this now?" the answer is yes, and take the thing right away and put it in your bag/car/suitcase. And then dispose of it as you see fit later when the family member isn't around. Either use it, give it to someone who can use it, charity shop, Vinted or dump.

That way everyone is happy. And any time a "what will happen to x, y, z after I'm gone" is met with "don't worry about that now, let's just enjoy it now" or with photos "let's look at them, who is this? let's write it on the back so we don't forget"

My god. Why do you want to leave a penny to these pricks?!

OP even your 'amusing' title of your post shows your contempt for them. You sound callous and lacking in humanity. They are human beings, not an inheritance waiting to happen - one where you expect to cash in without the inconvenience of the fact they lived a life.