Hoarder in-laws want us to inherit their stuff

I doubt there is any inherited house that does NOT need clearing out. No matter how tidy and "unhoarding" a person may be, their tastes and likes in furniture and "stuff" may be rubbish when they die. But there are varying degrees of clearing out I suppose.

I know in my own case, despite the fact that over the past year or so I've done the Swedish art of death cleaning (kind of!) and I have a lot of things down to the minimum, the house will still need to be cleared out. Minimum for me is a load of crap to someone else, and it will still have to be cleared when I go. But it's not as bad as a hoarder's house admittedly.

The only things of value (to me) that I kept were albums of old photos. I am in the process, slowly of copying them on to a usb storage thinggy and getting the originals up to the attic. There's nothing else up there besides the Christmas tree!

if you arent careful you'll find certain items eg a teapot with no lid or a gravy boat thats chipped that evokes certain memories and you decide to keep it and the mantle is passed over. if you are sure there is nothing of value monetarily or sentimental just get someone in

either you dad is blowing smoke up the ass of your sibling

or

your sibling is blowing smoke up your ass!

You will hire a skip

😮 How would you feel if your DC gave you that?

Smile
nod

hire in house clearance company

job done

My dad told my sibling he keeps sums of money in the house, hidden in a coded place only he knows, some within pages of books. So every book will need to be checked (1000s) plus it could be amongst the uni notes in boxes from the 1960s or the boxes of broken walkmans and hairdryers that might have come in handy or maybe in the 60 year old box of Christmas decorations. When the time comes we might get all grandchildren on board as a kind of treasure hunt. It makes me sad now but I used to really stress about it. We can't have family gatherings for years now, visiting is difficult for us.

Christmas gift idea for them: the book The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning: How to Free Yourself and Your Family from a Lifetime of Clutter

Just smile sweetly, say OK then get the number if a skip company when the time comes.

I think if it was my parents I’d just humour them and then clear it out once they’re gone. I’m guessing there will be some level of inheritance and I’d use that to pay for funeral and house clearing rather than have this battle now. Let them believe that there leaving their family valuable treasure rather than a load of rubbish

You want them to get rid of stuff that they cherish to save you a job?!!

Like others have said, you take what you want and get a clearance company in for the rest.

We just did it for my dad's house. It was incredibly straightforward.

Just placate them and then hire a skip when the time comes. What they don't know won't hurt them.

I cleared my parents’ big house myself. I certainly did not expect them to do it before they died.

I found it cathartic and kept pretty much nothing.

A good house clearance company will work with you to empty the house. My SIL's place was awful, but they helped over a couple of days to clear stuff out whilst also helping to look for any important documentation (financial info, passports, jewellery etc) amongst all the chaos.

It would have been nicer not to have needed them, but they made a difficult time much easier.

I sympathise because I am currently living this with my mother. She won't clear anything because 'it might be useful' or 'she might need to sell it one day'. She will not accept that there is no use for documents relating to a car that was scrapped 10 years ago because someone 'might want to ask questions'. And so on...

However, I have learned to accept that this is how she is. If she offers me things that I do not want, I take them, and thank her. Then dispose of them as she will never know and no longer cares after it isn't hers anymore.

I have every intention of Swedish death cleaning for myself. We used to move house every two years. A combination of that and my mother's habits have given me an absolute loathing of clutter and tat.

Can understand about the house clearance concerns. Perhaps take some collections to auction houses? Although prices tend to go by what's popular at the time.

They won’t see it the way you do, and if they really are hoarders no amount of telling them will make them understand that their stuff is worthless.

Also, it’s a bit insensitive to expect people to chuck away their own belongings while they’re still alive just to empty the house for your benefit in the expectation that they’re going to drop down dead soon.

If you don’t want any of it, I’m sure you’ll be able to pay to get the house cleared from the money you’ll presumably make on it. If you’re being given a free house, the least you can do is chuck a few bits in a skip, surely.

Just drop the subject. When the time comes, have a quick look through for anything valuable or that you want or could use, offer the furniture to charity, then get a house clearance firm in. You don't need to stress or argue about it.

My parents aren’t hoarders but their house is full. The loft is packed with crap.

My grandma died 20 years ago and a lot of her crockery, glassware etc is in my parents kitchen, they also had a narrow boat for 12 years that they lived on for 6 months so tne contents of that are also in the house.

Ive never seen so many plates! There are only 2 of them and they don’t entertain anymore.

I’ve offered to help them declutter but they say they will sort it! They’re both in their 80’s.

My DB and I are dreading having to deal with it all when the time comes.

My husband's granny ran a B&B - she continued to live in it long after it had ceased trading - it took 17 skips to clear it after she died. There was nothing to be gained from trying to clear it before she did...he vividly remembers his mum getting as far as clearing one kitchen drawer with her - before the granny threw her hands up and ushered them all out - while refilling the drawer.

My parents have a lot of stuff. I don't think they expect us to want it but I also doubt theyll deal with it beforehand.

Unless DSis feels differently (and wants to do the work) we shall share any bits we do want and employ a house clearance company.

Parents dont need to know that.

I'll be the same with my Dad, it's actually something I've discussed with siblings. We have resigned that we will have to do it all. I know no one will have the heart to use a clearance company and I live nearby so I know it will be on me with others doing a few days here or there. It will be a long process but a somehow satisfying one in a way, I've often fantasised about removing the old newspaper mountain or seeing what the couch under the books looks like. It's just sad DF won't be there to enjoy it when it's done.

There is absolutely nothing you can say to them that will make them suddenly start tidying and clearing out. So stop trying.

Accept that the house is going to be full of stuff when you inherit it.

Plan to get a house clearance company in. Find out which charities will come to collect clothes and furniture. Plan to get a lot of skips.

If the house is that big, the cost of this will be peanuts compared to the house value. A mercenary way to look at it, but a practical one.

Don't fight it. You don't want to be fretting over it.

Get a firm in to clear everything or hire skips and chuck the lot.

All straight in a skip