Hoarder in-laws want us to inherit their stuff

Absolutely do a thorough check.

My parents have told me they have 30K stashed in the loft inside an old suitcase.

Do you expect them to clear out their precious (to them) possessions and just sit an an almost empty house for however many years it takes them to die? Ghastly!

You cant be forced to inherit. Decline.

We have this to a certain extend with FIL. No hoarded items in the main house as MIL won’t allow it but the (huge) loft and garage have to be seen to be believed. FIL has said he wants us to go through his stuff before throwing it away ‘because there are things there that other people will find useful’ but DH has been clear that he’s not spending months picking through it all and a skip will be obtained. MIL is in full agreement even if she is left if FIL goes first, that his hoarded stuff will just be cleared out. He has started to go through things and put some stuff on Freecycle but it’s a very slow process and isn’t likely to do more than scratch the surface of the issue.

MIL has very sensibly started a list which she has circulated around the family for people to note down if there’s anything they would like to keep after PIL have gone. A very good idea and it means that there will (hopefully!) be no squabbling when the time comes. TBH we only noted down two very small items of furniture which I wouldn’t be heartbroken about if someone else decided they must have them. Our adult DC just claimed a couple of things of sentimental value to them from their childhood times with the GP. All the rest will have to go. FIL sometimes says things like ‘After I’ve gone make sure you ask x about my tools before getting rid of them’ but DH bats it back and reminds his dad that he can’t dictate what happens after he’s gone and we will do whatever works best for MIL and seems sensible at the time.

That reminds me - a friend had to clear a parent's flat. Her sibling found 7k in the bath panel.

House clearance will get rid of it all.
When my DM died, I DID have some of her stuff, until I felt ready to get rid of it all. But I did not have too much, and have kept just one of two items out of loads.
Similarly, when my DMIL went into a Care Home, my DH did not want to get rid of her stuff (in this case its a bit different as she was not actually deceased), so everything went into suitcases in our loft, again, until my DH felt ready to dispose of it all. In this case, some of it was sold, some junked, and some to charity shops.

If they are in their 70's you might not have to do anything for another 20 years or so anyway.

Is your DH the sole beneficiary or does he have siblings?

YABVU.

Either tell them to re-do their wills as you’re happy for them to leave everything inc. the house to the local Cats and Dogs home and let them solve the problem for you.

Or, if you’re wanting to inherit the house, stay humble and accept that to be gifted a house worth several thousand pounds involves a tiny bit of graft.

They could outlive you
You could be divorced
One or both might need care home fees

But thoughts and prayers

I had to clear the home of a hoarder parent.
I was utterly brutal and kept only

• what made me smile
• what I would make use of on a daily basis

For when you inherit. We cleared the small bedroom and that became the 'keep room ' anything we/family wanted to keep initially went in there. My dm had done a canny job in some areas, infact she had gotten rid of stuff others would have taken.
If they smoked just grt rid as everything still stinks months later. If they have some nice things, ask their family and friends to come over and chose any pieces they'd like. Then either get a charity collection to come along ( very strict on upholstery labels) or pay a clearance company.
We paid our local council to remove larger items ( bit of a wait) and did many charity/tip runs.
We did try to sell some stuff on fb market place but was more hassle for little return.

Good luck 🍀

Ended up having a conversation with my mother about “what I will want to keep when they’ve both gone”.

She wasn’t happy when I said I’ll be taking nothing and if it’s down to me, I’ll get a skip or house clearance company, unless my brother wants to go through it and take stuff. If he does, he can deal with the rest.

The trouble is, in our expereince, we still had to go through everything to check we were not just passing on to the clearance company things of historical /personal intererest/essential paperwork, or a couple of faberge eggs, lol. So it still took months to go through the hoarded clutter, before we then paid a clearance company to do the rest.

Has this with late parent. Think own documentary on harders and i am sure you can get the picture. I had it cleared as he claimed to have a box full of important papers which I kept and everything else I got a clearance company to deal with. I was supervising but it was truly awful. The dirt and smell was horrible.

It cost £10,500 and it took the clearance company 5 full days with transit van after van taking things away and then refilling.

I accepted that I might be throwing some valuable but tbh it wasnt something I could do on my own. You couldnt even sit down in the house to start the clearance

Maybe you could, maybe OP could, I certainly couldn't add that. There's little to inherit, if anything, and not doubt my ever hard done by (in her opinion) sister has plans for that.

But once again, these particular expectations have, and it was selfish to communicate them because of the clear risk that they would. It is the ILs who have created this problem.

My friends do this kind of clearance work as a job. They find lots of gems and the new owners get a cleared house.

I’m in a similar position with my in laws. They have lived in the same house for over 50 years and they never throw anything out. I counted a dozen remote controls on their bookshelf from every tv/dvd player they’ve ever owned. The loft is crammed with dead electrical goods. They don’t seem
to know where the local tip is and just keep everything. We’ve offered to help them sort things out and have asked them to identify any special/important things but they are not interested. Goodness knows what we’ll do when the time comes!

you did know that you can pay someone to do this for you?

Smile and nod. When the time comes you can just get a skip. Clear what you want and let someone else have or chuck the rest.

brilliant!!

and once again expectations don't have to cause difficulties.....nod and smile.

There is a simple solution to your problem.

Ask your in-laws to change their will and leave the house to someone else.

Problem solved.

What's the value of the estate?

If it's valuable, just humour them and then employ a firm to remove it all.

No need to risk being disinherited.