To think DS doesn’t haveautism

please consider seeking assessment for yourself. That process might help you to understand why this is helpful for your child.

The assessments are very in depth and will take into account all professionals opinions that are working with your son. Having the right diagnosis can be very beneficial for understanding what support might be needed. It won’t change anything about your son it just means he’ll be able to access support if needed. Even if your son does catch up with speech etc - it doesn’t mean he’s not autistic. I have an autistic child that loves hugs and trying to speak to everyone - not all autistic people are the same.

Hi OP. I never considered by daughter has autism until she became very poorly - initially with depression and then severe anorexia, ending up in a psych ward - due to the strain of 'masking' and trying to fit in when she didn't really understand social cues, and was struggling with sensory issues. She was diagnosed at 17 and it was really life-changing for her. She is now flying, with lots of friends, and studying psychology at uni. She has bi-weekly autism counselling sessions and a load of specialist aids from the Disabled Students service. I just wish she could have been spared all the pain of her early life. The earlier your son can get a diagnosis, the better.

@puppymaddness there is no stigma and it's not a label. It's a fact - it's like you can call the moon anytime it's still the moon. If you are autistic - understanding that helps you function better in the world.

even if you never had any support at all - you yourself would know, you would know your child better by understanding autism.

Parents can parent with more information - I am a better parent to my autistic child for knowing and understanding her autism.

There are websites you can look at @TakingItall which might help. So you can be prepared for meeting at school

As a mother of an autistic child, and someone who has worked extensively with ASD children, it does sound like your son is on the spectrum.

A diagnosis won’t change him, but it will make both his and your lives easier when accessing support. He needs a lot of 1:1 time, and that can be implemented full time, which will help your son to develop and explore his interests.

Please don’t be scared of the whole process, as overwhelming as it can feel sometimes, it’s there to support you and your son and your family. So that he can enjoy life to the full, and blossom.

Is there? My DS got his diagnosis and nothing changed in terms of support for us tbh. Just a letter to confirm what we had suspected.

The support is very thin on the ground if there is any.

My daughter is autistic and loving, empathetic, extremely intelligent and intuitive - very verbally bright, good language skills. But nursery staff noticed - then school - then us - she was diagnosed by age 8 and is no longer in mainstream school by 11.

It's a big thing to take on a life long assessment OP I know that!

But you should take any help you can get.

What do you mean what support is there for children with autism? There's lots of doors that are opened by a diagnosis, do you have a child with autism?

Ask for a meeting with school SENCO, take someone else with you if you get overwhelmed in meetings. They can take notes and you can talk about it in more detail at home

You say labelling , I say diagnosing.

Single words would be more normal at something 1.5-2, your son is nearly 5 OP.

A 3 year old still only saying single words would be considered 'delayed'. By nearly 5 im not surprised they are now thinking there may be more to it.

Usually im the first person to say autism should not just be assumed but I have to say it does sound like something really needs investigating in the case of your son. Big deep breaths as im sure its not easy thinking about this sort of thing, but maybe try and see it as a positive if a diagnosis may help him access support and interventions that could help him develop?

exactly this

OP my son was diagnosed at 3 1/2. The professionals who do the assessment know the difference between speech delay and autism. The assessment process for us was 6 months and it was multidisciplinary and extensive. I know it's scary as a parent but honestly, having the diagnosis makes it a lot easier to access the support he needs. I would go into the process with an open mind and see where it goes. The school wouldn't put him forward for assessment without good reason.

How old is his sibling?

Do you work op?

If you get overwhelmed in meeting s and can't remember things, then you need to take someone with you.
A friend, relative or even ask if one of the TAs could do it for you.

Someone to make notes about what has been said, someone to say to you - is there anything you'd like repeated, any questions?

basically someone who is there for YOU.
Then after the meeting, maybe the day after, take some time to go over the meeting with that person, and make sure you understand what they said.

But a diagnosis will open doors for support for him?

That must be really disorienting for you to hear that he is being assessed for autism without a discussion with you. That’s not helpful for you. What’s important is that he gets the right level of support for his speech development and I would be asking how an autism assessment may affect this level of support (positively or negatively).

people say this a lot but I'm wondering what support there really is for children with ASD? Sometimes I wonder if there's just the label and a lot of stigma without any really action in place?

Naughty is a label OP, stupid is a label, autism is a diagnosis. Children aren't 'just' this delayed, there will be a reason for it and autism is the most likely.

Everything you say suggests ASD and it sounds like you're just starting to realise that you may be autistic too OP. Remember you've got this far in life so you'll be ok and so will he - but the more support you can get the better for both of you. It tends to run in families so it's not surprising your niece is autistic too.

Remember your son is still exactly the same child with or without a diagnosis. This doesn't change anything about him, he's still the same child. It will just help everyone to understand him better and hopefully get the right help and support if he has a diagnosis. Mine wasn't picked up till nearly secondary school age and i really wish we'd realised earlier.

Your just being selfish. If proffesionals have accepted him for an assessment then that shows he has something going on

Keep denying it will just mean your child won't get the support and help they deserve as their growing up

My sister was referred for an assessment over 15 years ago. My mum point blank wouldn't have it. Forced her to go to a mainstream school where she was horrificly bullied and unsupported for years

As an adult she has gone NC with my mum as she has been diagnosed and is really upset at the lack of support she received

Lots of parents don't recognise it in their own children because they have it too so think what they see is 'normal'....

Ok, and how old it your other child?

and what does your partner think (he’s the father?)