To think DS doesn’t haveautism

That didn’t answer my question

EVERY nigbt you need to be working on this op

yep

@TakingItall have you been given guidance by speech therapist?

Sorry I clearly got angry remembering what my mum had done and snapped at you. I'm sorry for that

I was diagnosed with autism and adhd in my 30's and my dd was diagnosed 6 months after me. She can make eye contact, isn't fussy about food, can talk and is very clever.

But she also gets really overwhelmed, can't process her feelings or her body signs of hunger tiredness ect, her meltdowns were awful she would really really hurt herself

The process is easier than you think. The fact he's been accepted for an assessment means that half the hard work is already over ( for lots of parents even being accepted for an assessment is a huge battle )

So now, all you really need is for nursery, you, your family members to just tell the asd team what you have all noticed about his behaviour. They will probably meet with him a few times too. And they make it fun for the kids

The assessment for kids isn't anything terrible, they have to read a book, do some imaginative play and somthign else I can't remember. All very stress free and easy

The asd team should offer you a parenting course on having an autistic child,

Life will be a lot easier for him and people will be more understanding and supportive of his behaviours and needs

My DD is so much happier in herself now she knows how her brain works

Op do you have a job?

You need to acknowledge the fact your son needs further support and most likely has autism rather than burying your head in the sand.

Your son isn’t just “delayed”.

“Delayed” may be a 24-30 month old who has just started putting a couple of words together.

Your son is 5 in February, the fact he can only say single words is concerning.

You need to start advocating for your child and pushing for help, speak to your schools SENCO. The reason some struggle with autism diagnosis so much is because their parents were completely unphased and didn’t put in the work to get their child the help they need.

This is something you could be channelling your efforts in to.

Getting more S&L therapy.

Is private an option?

Do you work on it every night? That’s what I did with my ND speech delay DS

It’s really sad that you’re holding him back from flourishing with the support he clearly needs but won’t get without a diagnosis

Neurotypical 4yos, in school, are busy, social, and enjoy chatting to their friends.
The fact that your DS isn't, should be concerning to you. Being non-verbal until 4.5 is particularly concerning. How was/is his physical development? Did he meet his milestones?

Yes, he is delayed from what you've described, and perhaps there is Autism there as well. But it sounds more like a general developmental delay, rather than specifically Autism.

@TakingItall who did you have EHCP meeting with? I assume (if in England) your DS is in reception year. Arrange a meeting with class teacher and SENDCo (name and contact details should be on school website). But can arrange through class teacher. It would be ideal if partner is there too as you will both hear the same messages.

A diagnosis isn't something to be afraid of - it will unlock support and help for him. It's a good thing that the school are so on the ball with this - they're trying to do the best for him.

What are you doing already to support him? That might help with giving you advice.

They tried to involve you with the EHCP but you were too “overwhelmed”

They have probably tried to involve you with getting the ball rolling on an assessment

If he doesn’t have Autism he won’t be diagnosed. It’s not about the “label” it’s about him being able to get the correct help and education.

I’m going through this with my daughter at the moment who is a little younger, do I wan’t her to be autistic, nope, no parents do, but I will
make sure she has appropriate help at school and the best education she can. You need to realise autism is a possibility and the sooner you find out the better, it’s likely he will be on the waiting list for sometime, it’s a slow process, he will progress, but he will need some help doing so. You won’t do him any favours by delaying this.

Could you name some? For children as young as 4? For which diagnosis of ASD is required? Genuinely would really like to know/ understand. I have a (very young) child on the assessment pathway.

An almost 5 year old who has a handful of words has speech and language therapy every 6 weeks???

@TakingItall contact the school and ask for a meeting with the SENCO, the person at school who is responsible for coordinating the SEN provision for the school.

Sounds very much like autism to me. It also sounds very much like my DS, DH and me. But then we all have diagnosis of ASD.

We all found being diagnosed very helpful. DH and I because it explained why we were like we are, and could stop feeling inadequate and guilty, and stop trying to force ourselves to be normal (and failing)

And it meant that DS got extra help at school, and was able to go to a club for ASD children. This has really helped him, as he had no friends at school, so having some outside of school was very beneficial.

We are all much happier with our 'labels'.

DS was able to take his exams in a small room, use loops if he needed and could have had breaks if he needed them. He got the interview questions in advance for some of the degree apprenticeships he applied for. He has had a meeting with an OT through work and reasonable adjustments made for him (access to a quiet room if he becomes overwhelmed) although he has never needed to use it because he feels so well supported and loves his work (software engineering). The biggest thing though is that he understands why he is the way he is.

My ds has autism, and he is loving and does eye contact

OP you have a very rigid view of Autism. People present in different ways, that’s all. I think it’s positive school has put in a referral.

you say speech and language go in once a week but then further up once every 6 weeks? How much does he actually have? We found the therapy invaluable when DS was young.