To think DS doesn’t haveautism

Yes my DD. Totally non verbal at 4/sensory issues/dyspraxia. Thought to be autistic.

Turned out to be DLD which affected her language understanding.and caused a secondary impact in lots of areas including social difficulties

Intensive speech and language therapy later she has no sensory issues, dyspraxia disappeared and whilst DLD is lifelong she can talk the hind legs off a donkey, got great A levels and her first choice for uni. People can jump to autism too early.

I think it happens a lot with language disorders, our consultant told us that area of the brain can develop later in some kids.

Op please check out DLD which is far more common than autism ( about 3 kids per class) and often misdiagnosed for it

It was initially thought dc was autistic as she was also nonverbal at 4 but I knew it didnt fit properly. She only had social difficulties because she couldn't understand what people saying.

It's definitely worth looking into.

The diagnostic criteria for autism. (You said a person can't get diagnosed without meeting the criteria..)

It should be possible to have a difference in opinion / exchange of ideas with someone without resorting to insults.

Which is why it used the be described in many papers as ‘childhood autism’ as children sometimes seemed to emerge around the age of 5.

I can think of more than a few kids with this profile who are now adults who can drive etc and some live semi independently. Verbal intelligence and nonverbal intelligence are very different things which is why the NAS used to have the puzzle piece as its logo.
If anyone could accurately predict outcomes of an autistic child at five they’d be the first person professional or otherwise I’d know of.
I’ve known autistic adults who started making progress with speech in their 30’s but no one has ever reliably identified why this sometimes happens and why it sometimes doesn’t.

But when you consider that Autism is really just an umbrella term for a set of behaviours, physiology and difficulties that can be caused by a huge variety of things, that’s probably not too surprising. I hope they never reliably find the so called autism gene as there is so little real understanding of why and how people progress/regress within their spectrum.

@puppymaddness the diagnostic criteria of what are very broad? I don’t think you have any real life experience but are trying to sound as if you know what you are talking about by confidently asserting unsubstantiated nonsense.

which others are available? The diagnostic criteria are intentionally very broad, and presentations/ challenges of those included under the umbrella vary very widely . I think (/hope) in the future we will see a lot more differentiation.

@puppymaddness again that is not true. Unexplained neurodevelopmental difference is not diagnosed as ASD if the criteria is not met. It a diagnosis of last resort with strict criteria frequently involving input of SALT, OT, EP as well as input from parents and teachers before formal ADOS. Do you have relevant experience of the diagnostic process?

My nephew was diagnosed autistic when he was 3 and as he has got older it has become clear that he isn't autistic but was massively delayed in many aspects especially speech.
I don't know how common a misdiagnosis is.

Yes they will rule out hearing- but ASD is pretty much the only available / used label for any presentation of unexplained neurodevelopmental difference - and these can be hugely varying in their presentations. ADHD is the other major one but it's hard to get a diagnosis for that at 4- normally children need to be at least 6.

@puppymaddness I don’t think that is true - the diagnostic process is much the same as that in the older population - ie differential diagnosis - it is only when more common diagnoses are ruled out that autism is considered. DS2 started school with a SLCN concern and was referred for hearing assessment. It was only later after further assessment that ASD and ADHD diagnoses were made. If anything this leads to under and late diagnosis given the delay in progression to further assessment.

I don't think that catastrophising is helpful, but neither is head-in-the-sand minimising.

The sooner children with developmental differences are helped, the sooner they can develop the skills they need to flourish. Not being supported and struggling for years with being different and not understanding why can cause severe mental health issues in the ND population. MH problems and suicide rates in this popularion are much higher than the NT population, and if earlier help goes any way to reducing that it is morally right to put the support in place asap.

I have an (undiagnosed) autistic family member by marriage who is flourishing now at nearly 50, but he nearly didn't make it. His parents refused to accept there was a problem, or looked for solutions in the wrong places (and to be fair, since he was not profoundly disabled, 'just' non-verbal for a long time, and as he was bright it was not picked up in the education system in their country). He has suffered through various MH crises and misdiagnoses, but at least he is still with us! His 8 year old child is now being seen by the school psychologist for assesment - his wife is not as passive or head-in-the-sand as his mother was. My autistic DC (aged barely 9 at the time) picked up on this child's differences two years ago. It was really obvious to us, but harder for them to identify because lots of family members have the same traits.

I didn't want to believe my son had "something wrong with him". I cried when he got his autism diagnosis. Because I knew at that moment that he would never "grow out of it" and "get better" - that this was him! That he had a life-long limiting disability.

BUT - now he got help and funding for extra help. Now his teachers (who often already suspected) knew that he wasn't "just being naughty". I knew I wasn't just a "bad parent" (I am too soft on him but that's another story) Scout leaders, dentists, youth club leaders can all be told he is autistic and have some clues to understanding his behaviour. It has been a positive step.

When he was first diagnosed, I refused to read the "autism information" that we were given as I just wanted to deal with my son as himself. As he's got older, learning more about autism has become useful as a guide to what might be happening inside his head.

A diagnosis is a turning point for you as well as him. But it will probably be a positive and beneficial step. Sending you both lots of love

My DD was diagnosed very young - I think 5, maybe 6. School pushed for a diagnosis. Initially they said 'you might want to think about getting her assessed' But after one incident it changed to more 'you need to get her assessed'.

She presented entirely different to your DS. Not delayed, if anything, academically advanced (she is one of the youngest in the year too). My husband had a similar reaction to you - he didn't want her to be 'labelled'. Didn't want Autism to be used as an excuse for things. But really, I think we were both aware there was something. As a family we could constantly make adjustments to accommodate her needs. Eg avoid things we knew what would upset her; abandon plans last minute if we could see she was hyped up over something. Things its much harder for school to do.

I could write an essay (already have!). One thing I would say though, it doesn't get better as they get older. It gets more and more noticeable and challenging. And in fact the biggest struggle we have had has been the move to secondary school. And she wouldn't have survived it without the tremendous amounts of support from both schools.

Follow the advice. Go for the diagnosis. Get the support your son needs.

I know someone who was a very late talker, but he doesn't have autism or any other disorder. However, there are certain indicators that need further investigation, and that is one of them. You can't know unless you're qualified to carry out such an assessment.

If he has behavioural, developmental, or coping difficulties, they will be noted whether you get him the help he needs or not.

I agree, my autistic child was almost non verbal at 5 but made significant progress after that. But he is still behind his peers and the gap has gotten wider with age, not just with speech, but with everything academically. Everything is impacted by his communication delays including friendships (he has none).

I would worry less about a potential diagnosis (especially as it sounds like an assessment is still years off) and focus completely on getting adequate support.

yes some children will remain non verbal. However, studies show that a significant number of nonverbal children develop language skills after age 4 and become fluent speakers.
Language development can occur later than previously thought, sometimes happening well into the school years or even adolescence.

Theres simply no way to know at this stage.

What is important for OP's child is he gets the support he needs now- regardless of diagnostic labels and catastrophising about the future.

I think it's the other way around, I see an awful lot of non verbal older autistic children in my line of work.

Well your experience is really limited in that case. it's not as unusual as you think.

Ok. So you do know autistic people can go to university etc right?

He sounds like he does have autism, what you have described is quite a bit more than just "delayed" you've described trouble with speech, social communication difficulties and sensory difficulties. I think you don't want to accept that, I understand I didn't want to at first but that didn't help my DD. Teachers wouldn't put him forward for assessment (to get accepted onto the asd pathway is incredibly difficult) unless they was pretty sure. He won't be diagnosed with autism unless he actually has autism. There's a lot of criterias he will have to meet to get a diagnosis. Accept the process OP you aren't doing your son any favours by sticking your head in the sand, been there done that worn the t-shirt and I wish I'd had someone to tell me straight back then.

Well its true. Mind you you our family have always been late speakers anyway. My DD was 3,5 and had 6 words she could say. Got into grammar school at 11. With my 3rd i didn't even bother taking him to 2 year check as I knew they'd waffle on about his lack of speech. Another one with only half a dozen words by 3ish. Graduated from uni now

Apparently I said absolutely nothing until my mums friend bribed me with 10p to say sausages lol at 3ish

That's interesting. I've genuinely never seen that!

Yes the relative i spoke about earlier. Non verbal at 4,5. No delays at 7,5 . Perfectly average kid these days in mainstream