If you were once beautiful and have lost your looks, how do you feel about it?

What’s the actual problem? Wrinkles? Jowls? Weight gain? What do you think is making you look less attractive?

Do you smoke? Drink alcohol? Sunbathe? These will all negatively impact your appearance.

Not quite the same but I used to be size 10 and am now size 14-16
I don't really mind within my own friends and family and people who see me all the time, and don't feel unattractive, but I get worried about photos on social media and bumping into old friends (or certain men from my past...) in case they think "blimey she's put on weight." It's not a nice thought.

I can't really offer advice other than for me it's really unhelpful to compare against a former self.

I think I was really beautiful when younger. I didn't fully realise at the time, tbh. I thought I was a bit nicer looking than average, but I look at old photos and I must have been blind.

I think I'm a fairly attractive fifty-something now and I am in decent shape for my age. But I am no longer head-turningly beautiful and honestly I'm OK with it. Firstly because I didn't fully realise at the time anyway, so didn't really feel especially beautiful. And secondly because my life is a lot better without the unwanted attention.

I try not to worry about it but I just feel irrelevant and meaningless after having such validation for years

That was your drug - time to break this addiction now. 99% of the population never get such validation anyway and hopefully they are still happy and useful citizens.

From the ages of 17-25 I got so much attention

Tbf that is the age range where everyone primarily wants to hump each other. Then people start getting busy with adult life.

I was at my absolute best in my 30s, I think it's very young to be worrying about losing your looks. I'm 56 now and beginning to notice signs of aging, fine lines and a bit of jowly horror.
Do you have a healthy diet and a good skin care routine?

It’s also about star power/X factor/charisma..

Think Jo Lumley etc.

That & bone structure.

I can relate, OP. I was never that nice looking, but I was happy enough with how I looked when I was younger, and the point is that it was my face. I knew what makeup to use, how to enhance my better features, etc.

Then, my face got old. I looked awful with eyelids that drooped so much that I didn't have eyelids any more. I got deep shadows under my eyes.

I had a facelift. It was wonderful afterwards! I got the old me back! Everyone at work kept saying how well I looked, unprompted . I felt like I looked like I used to look, again. It was odd, 'meeting' the me I used to know, and had forgotten.

I don't know if you're in the position to have some cosmetic surgery or not, but I can recommend it.

I'm in my 50s and haven't been sexually harassed or cat-called for about four years. It's great!

If you were only getting attention during the ages of 17-25. Then it’s not about being attractive. It’s about being young.

Youthfulness is attractive in of itself even if you are not especially beautiful.

People who are good looking remain good looking after the dew of youth has long gone.

Sorry but maybe you were getting attention due to your age.

Take it from someone who has always been ugly; you need to learn to accept it or you’ll waste your life worrying. I focus on looking presentable, or dressing in outfits that click for me. Get plenty of sleep and drink plenty of water, eat well. Have a good skin care routine. Personally I wash and moisturise my face 1x a day, and then clean my light make up off at the end of the day if I’ve worn any.

There’s also option 2 and just lean into the ugliness. Get a shite but fashionable hair cut and wear things that don’t go. But I couldn’t do it.

ps I bet you are actually still lovely looking.

I'm totally with you OP. I'm 40, my looks started fading around 35 and for me it's been a drastic change.
When I was 30 I did jury service and was with an 18 year old. After two weeks with her she assumed I had been her age all along. That's how young I looked at 30.
5 years later theres absolutely no chance someone would think that. And now at 40 I would be very lucky if someone thought I looked under 40. The issue for me has been facial sag. I had a pretty doll like face and was striking as a young woman but not a strong jaw, I've got weak scaffolding!!
I'm sure there's things I could do but I'm not rich and I have young kids I don't feel I can prioritise my face. It really gets me down though so I totally get you OP. I feel like I've totally lost my identity and it gets me down.

Re the male attention, sometimes it's more the vibe you give off - like if you're settled with a partner you don't give off that "available" vibe.

Female compliments - honestly that's something we just do out of politness, and often most effusively towards those who need a boost NOT the stunning ones.

In your 30s! - and worried about looking old!!!!

You need to get a grip on this now or the rest of your life - of which there is loads left - will be miserable.

I am over double your age and make up for my waning (or rather changing) looks by trying to be useful to those around me; and smiling a lot.

I worked as a photographer and the best portrait I ever took was of a woman in her late 80s - her personality shone through and everyone comments on how great it is.

It is also important to change how you think about this. Your looks will change as you age; but the assumption is that this change is for the worse - that looking 70 is a bad thing. But it isn't - it is life. If you cannot accept life as it is then you will be miserable - and will make those around you miserable.

This! I'm now in my 40s and love the fact that no one stares at me anymore!

The same. I was never the most attractive (especially day to day) but I scrubbed up well. I dont put all my value on my looks or what people think of me physically but I do miss looking in the mirror and thinking "you look pretty today".

It's no more vain than trying to flattering dress is.

I dont know how but Ive just sort of accepted it. In some ways I look older than my mum.

I do work out though so I feel better, even if I dont think I look great.

Plus age is a privilege blah blah blah

I sit staring at my mirror, asking it questions and fixated by my fading beauty, then I disguise myself as a hag and go around handing out poisoned apples to the young and hot.

If you're still in your 30s then you definitely don't look terrible through age. It's your perception of yourself that has likely changed.

Stop looking in mirrors, and wear a mask for wearing outside the house, or do what I do and only leave the house after dark.

This. Being beautiful with a good bone structure somewhat mitigates the aging process by holding together the face (not that aging should be noticeable in 30s anyway).

A few wrinkles on a beautiful face signifies soneone is older but they are still beautiful. OP do you have health issues that result in extreme weight loss or weight gain, sleep deprivation?

Sounds more like self esteem than anything else, but that doesnt really help.

Confidence really helps as does a touch of botox!

Not to get all Samantha Brick, but in my late 20s I was very hot 😅 but I also had cripplingly low self esteem and was infatuated with a man who didn’t feel the same way and would go on to smash my heart to smithereens.

Now mid-30s, objectively look a lot worse (stopped wearing make up, live in gym clothes, aging like a pear), but have very high self confidence regardless. Zero fucks given. 😌