If you were once beautiful and have lost your looks, how do you feel about it?

I think the male attention is often more about looking young and less intimidating than looking better. I'm sure you still look great

I wouldn't say I've ever been a real beauty (I'm no Angelina Jolie) but like you always used to get attention and compliments etc.

Now I've got older (probably a similar age to you) and had kids and put on weight i don't get the same kind of attention.

Honestly I love it, the invisibility I've gained as I'm not considered conventionally attractive anymore has been absolutely liberating. I'm not bothered by men anymore, I can just exist in my own space without anyone trying to engage me I just get left alone.

When I was younger I felt like I couldn't relax in the same way, almost like I was on show by default. It's hard to explain but people (men, let's be honest) seemed to think i should enjoy being constantly approached no matter what I was doing and if you don't enjoy the attention you're somehow "stuck up", a "bitch" and "rude".

Have you got children? I felt and looked awful in my early 30’s due to lack of sleep with small children. Partly I think I was lacking in confidence. I wonder if those around you think the opposite to what you do. Now I get decent sleep but if I have a tough night it makes a lot of difference! 40’s now I do get attention but it’s not always wanted tbh so I wouldn’t judge your looks on that. Work on your self worth would be my advice.

I remember aged 18 being in the audience of Who Wants to Be A Millionaire, when my godfather won £500k.

Another girl was a relative of one of the phone a friends too, and we were both young, attractive teenage girls, beaming at the camera and the film crew literally made most of the programme focused on both of us. It was pretty funny, and I never considered myself really attractive until then. I was even compared to Catherine Zeta-Jones in a Daily Express review which really made me chuckle 😂

I have to say, my looks have faded, and i am definitely a knackered 44 year old mum of three, with bags under my eyes, perimenopausal skin and teeth, about two stone overweight, and very occasionally feel like I don't want to be here after a decade of poor health/head injury/post concussion syndrome and movement disorder.

My old self is very much gone, but I'm still attractive as a person hopefully. Softer, kinder, more empathetic I hope - but not as smooth skinned, thick haired or with a fully working brain or body lol 😆

But I love my family and have been blessed in many other ways. Being pretty isn't necessarily the most important thing in life. Being grateful, healthy and happy is much better 💓

I hope you can find peace with your looks. I'm sure you look lovely 🥰

I'm now in my 50s... obviously I'm decades past my prime.

Gosh, I'm 50 and think I am just hitting my prime now!

I wasn't beautiful but was often described as cute. I've lost most of looks (it started around mid-30s when I gained weight and wrinkles). It's hard because I don't like how I'm heading but accept there's not much I can do.

I'm fine. Never beautiful but absolutely OK. In my mid 40s now. Men in their 60s plus seem to be very interested in me. No idea why I seem to be so appealing to that demographic.

I am very average looking, and I've noticed in the last couple of years that I have aged somewhat, and I don't like it. I was always someone who looked young for my age, and now I think I just look my age..(55). I loved how I looked and felt at 50 - 53, even at 54, but now....meh. I'm very sad about it. I look at pics of my peers (school friends etc) and it seems most of us have visibly aged in the last two or three years. It is what it is. It's hard to come to terms with, but it fills me with fire to make the bloody most of things.

I bet you don’t even look half as bad as you
think you do. We are so critical of ourselves.

I hear you.

I’ve had a really really difficult few years and it is written all over my face. Still slim-ish. I’m determined to get back on track though and I’ve been seeing a psychotherapist for CPTSD which is helping.

I'm the same age and also think I look good!

My skin is good and after losing weight through intermittent fasting I'm nearly as slim as I was in my prime. Facially I've not changed much, just an older version of my young self. But that's exactly what it is. An older version. I'm now deep into 'looking good for my age' territory. As opposed to just looking good, full stop!😕😒😣😫

Absolutely this. Very wise words. 👍

I remember feeling like this from 42, when I had my second child. So much so that I have so few photos at this time- I took them but found looking at myself so depressing I didn’t let dh take them. I regret it now so much. But surprisingly, of the photos I do have, I look not that much different from what I was before- just a little tired. My self loathing was off the scale - no idea why because as an older woman now I am perfectly accepting of how I look. I wonder are you maybe in the eye of the storm and knackered by life? You are too young to feel this way - try and be kind to yourself.❤️

I hate to break it to you, but you are in your prime. Somewhere just past 40 it really begins to happen. I would suggest you have some work to do on your thought patterns, otherwise the next couple of decades are going to be brutal for you.

Same here...

I would never have called myself beautiful . Pretty would be doing a lot of hefty lifting actually.

Never hear a problem getting a date, married very young (23).

But now in my 40s, I don't care; sspecifically being beautiful especially whatever other people think.

I'm blessed with nice hair and great skin that's always slightly tanned. Favourite feature is dark green eyes :)

No problems getting make attention and I'm moderately overweight!

They are probably worried you think blimey they are bald and have a beer gut now.

Can people really change this much, I was very pretty in my teens and 20’s, I’m mid 50’s and am still pretty. Obviously I don’t have the young glow but I look like a pretty 56 year old.

I was very beautiful when I was young. I was a model in my late teens. I disliked the male attention. Youth is wasted on the young. But I never had to buy a drink or pay to get in a club. I’m 46 now though, and married, and I don’t need external validation from anyone other than my husband and friends/family. What strangers think of my face is less important than what everyone thinks of my heart.

That said, I do still try and make the best of the genes I was given. What are you doing to help the ageing process?

i really noticed the impact of ageing when I got to about 44. My skin looked awful - dry and loose and wrinkled and dull - my eyes had bags and dark circles and loads of tiny lines.

Implementing a decent skincare routine has made the world of difference and my skin is much tighter and now glows. I still have some
wrinkles but that’s ok. I’m 46.

I take a load of high quality supplements, most notably collagen, omega oils, and a very good multivitamin. I drink 2 litres of water a day minimum. I use vitamin c serum, hyaluronic acid and an SPF moisturiser in the morning, and retinal, HLA and a multi-ceramide night cream at night. I massage my face to encourage lymph drainage and tighten my jawline.

it’s made a massive difference. I don’t really consider whether I’m beautiful or not now. I don’t know. It’s not really for me to say, eye of the beholder and all that, and as I said I don’t really value it in the same way. But I am
comfortable with how I’m ageing.

I’ve name changed for this, but yes, I was very good looking when I was younger. Overall I’m unhappy about having lost my looks, but there is a silver lining. The attention I used to get from men could be very difficult and scary at times. I was constantly battling to keep certain people away from me, and it made life stressful. I was always aware that eyes were on me, wherever I was. No one looks twice at me now. They don’t even look at me once! Being good looking was my identity for so long, so it’s really odd to feel as though I’ve stepped into the body of someone else, and I do struggle with that. But the anonymity can be a real blessing. I actually feel safer a lot of the time because I blend into the background. I can go anywhere and do anything without being noticed. I like that part of it. The hardest part is seeing people from the past. I’ve aged badly, partly due to illness, and I do think people can be shocked by what I look like now. That’s hard.

I’ve never been anyone who got hit on like you describe OP (in line at the shops) even in my best years which is long ago. I just never had that pretty face. Although I’m glad my DH thought I was ok maybe I wasn’t too frightful in hindsight in my early years. My DD is beautiful (her looks favour a lovely mix of other family members on both sides not me - people don’t link me as her mum they think I’m the nanny lol!).

Because I didn’t focus on looks I focused on other things. When I a read a question like yours I can’t reflect myself as I was never on that boat (but sometimes wished I was!).

I think overall I noticed a decline in skin elasticity in my 30s.

Honestly OP if you had started a thread about how you no longer felt you looked great about your appearance and asking for advice on how to make changes to improve yourself i would have had some sympathy.
But this " I was one of the beautiful people and I don't like it now I'm older because men are no longer fawning over me " attitude is just horrible.
Ageing happens. It is inevitable. All we can do is try to keep our selves healthy and looking as good as we can.
There is more to life than outward appearance.

A face lift in her 30's?? Crazy idea. I don't think that many people get facelifts, definitely not in her 30's.

OP - if you were beautiful, how is your face going to be ugly now? It doesn't make sense. You may be a bit 'older', but your face doesn't change from beautiful to ugly. Bodies can change a lot, but your factions will remain the same, maybe a fuller face if you have put on a lot of weight. Still people can be very beautiful with a fuller face

But the OP cares? That's literally the point of her post.

I was never beautiful but still find ageing hard. I started getting a little bit of Botox a couple of years ago which helped open my eyes a bit and make me look less tired. I think good eyebrows help!

unfortunately I got hit with cancer in my 40s and the treatment aged me. I’d love to say it made me reassess what was important in life and just feel thankful to be alive but nah, didn’t work like that. I looked older and didn’t have my lovely hair to frame my face. Shit it.