If you were once beautiful and have lost your looks, how do you feel about it?

I agree, the good looking don't deserve/need sympathy if they start to lose their looks. I mean what exactly are they mourning, street harassment? For a start they usually remain better looking than their peers anyway so they don't even lose their looks, they just get older. It's very well documented that better looking people have an easier ride through life. I'm on the lucky side of that divide. I have to do a fair bit of public speaking at work, sometimes having to try to win round a hostile crowd. I'm sure having a pretty face and good body, even in my 50s, helps with this.
Your post made me so angry though. How dare men speak to you like that ! Just how fucking dare they!

I have always been, not just plain, but noticeably unattractive. It's my face, not my figure, so absolutely nothing I can do about it. It's in the bone structure of my face so even surgery wouldn't help, not that I'd waste money trying.

What stands out from some of the posts here from former beauties is the sense of entitlement, to male attention, 'privileges' such as always being bought drinks, etc.

No, that is not the world most people live in, whether they're in their twenties or their nineties.

I'm in my 50s now and glad to be invisible, not because general hagdom has levelled out but because I no longer have to suffer random men calling me names when I'm out and about. If you're 20 and ugly men seem to take it as a personal affront and they're desperately keen to show their mates that you are far, far beneath their standard for a shag, so you get the delights of barking dog noises made in your wake, and "you make [insert comically unattractive celebrity of the day] look good" or simply "God, you're ugly!".

So I have no sympathy for people who were once attractive and have lost it - be glad you have had that experience in your life, and get on with living in the real world.

I have some sympathy for women who suffered from unwelcome male attention in the form of being pestered by men who fancied them, as this is the other side of the same coin, but it is far more humiliating to be on the 'tails you lose' side of that particular coin, believe me.

Well there you have it! No wonder you don't look and feel your best right now.
All the best, I hope you can have your surgery soon and enjoy energy and good health afterwards.

@FouroutofFivee how are you feeling in yourself? Because I would agree with you, you are likely in your prime. If you feel you are not looking as good as you did there are two possible main culprits - mental health (ie this is a perception issue, or you have people in your like making you feel like this) or physical health - are you eating right / exercising etc). Your 30s are also the time to discover a good exfoliating facial wash - the only real ageing thing you deal with is your skin isn’t turning over as well as it used to.

I felt like you in my 40s, but looking back at the photos it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought - but my mental health and self-esteem weren’t where they should have been.

To answer your question though - I didn’t really enjoy my looks as much as I could have. Both men and women could be quite unpleasant about it in different ways. People are nicer to me now.

Yes I know I’m not a hot 23 year old anymore but I still want to look good for myself really.

Love the clip of the young woman on being threatened with aging as “men won’t find you attractive anymore” she eye rolled and responded “boo hoo don’t threaten me with a good time” 😀

You can be both.

This about sums it up.

@FouroutofFivee It helps for me to think of and watch video clips of older women who have lost their youthful looks but who I still think are amazing. People like Olivia Coleman, or to go a bit older, Judy Dench for example. It helps me to remember that attractiveness is not about being wrinkle free, or having amazing cheekbones. It’s about the expressions on your face, being an interesting person, the way that you carry yourself and engage with other people.
Likewise I also look at celebs who have aged badly (by which I mean have unfortunate effects from plastic surgery) and I remind myself that they don’t look any the better for it, no money or fame in the world can buy youth.
We just have different currency for attractiveness as we get older and I quite enjoy that in its own way tbh, and any lingering looks you DO get from men will be all the more flattering because you know it’s your personality that is attractive.

I have really struggled with how I look since hitting my mid 30s but I think it’s mostly in my head or some sort of hormonal shift.

I still look the same as I did when I’ve made that little bit of extra effort to pick a nice outfit or to take a few more minutes to style my hair.

I'm mid 50s and modelled in my teens and twenties. Most days, I enjoy the invisibility of being a very average looking older woman, but there are times when I catch sight of myself and feel nostalgic for my younger self and, being honest, the 'pretty privilege' I no longer have!

If I were you I would have a month off booze and sugar and eat lots of fiber and protein. Then go to a cosmetic injector for filler and Botox. Get your teeth whitened too.

Absolutely this. It is liberating.

Do what you can to make yourself look / feel better.

Eat as nutritionally well as possible, stay hydrated, exercise, lose weight, improve your skincare and make up routine, dress for your body and the right colours for you (figure out your colour season), spend a bit of time or money on your hair / nails / teeth.

My mother once said “there is no such thing as an ugly women, just a lazy one…”
I don’t fully agree with that statement but there’s something to it.

I was an attractive young person and am now 37 with 2 young kids feeling like my best years (looks wise) are behind me… and they probably are but I’m going to work with what I’ve got and be the best version of me that I can be.

I disagree with those saying you look better in your 30s. There’s something about very early adulthood where beauty peaks for men and women. It’s biological. You can be attractive after that but it’s not the same. It’s a transient stage to be enjoyed while it lasts.

When I am with dd2 (aged 17) who is stunning men literally do not see me. It’s quite funny I had to literally wave my hands in front of a barista to get served my coffee as he was so entranced by my glam model neatly 6ft 17 year old he didn’t even see me! .

I was once beautiful. I was even quite beautiful when plump, sleep deprived with two SEN kids and approaching menopause. Thing is, I didn’t realise until I was ‘old’. It’ seems obvious in old photos, but I just didn’t see it at the time.

So now, I’m thinking less about how I look to others and how I feel about and within myself. I’ve had some botox to get rid of my 11s - as resting bitch face made me look scary, frankly - and I have facials/hyal70 treatments so that I feel I look fresher, but I’m not worried about looking old (I am getting older, fact) or the fact I don’t look 20 anymore. So long as my kids aren’t [too] embarrassed to acknowledge me in public, I’m okay.

Totally this.

Whilst I haven't aged in some ways as I would wish (weight mainly) in other ways I think I look ok but with no work done I just don't look as "current".

I've never been stunning or beautiful, but life has not been kind to my body/hair/skin. In my early 40s I lost 2 friends who were my age to cancer and realized it's such a privilege to age. I don't look any better for it, but I manage it by not looking in the mirror. It's oddly freeing.

Everything in life is transient OP. Life is just a series of moments, and you can choose whether to embrace the present moment, or to keep grieving for moments that have passed. If you keep grieving the past then you are wasting the moments that you have now, much like someone who fails to move on from a relationship that long over.

My advice would be to forget about what you once were, and to embrace who you are now. Make the most of it, because before you know it, this moment will have passed you by. In 10 years time you’ll look back and think how great you looked at 36, and wish that you had embraced it to the full.

A truly beautiful woman will always be beautiful whatever her age ...

I enjoy not being constantly harassed by men. I like that I'm now invisible to them. It's very freeing. I also realise now - and always did actually, just how utterly shallow 99% of men are. I would have men eating out of my hand for no reason other than that I was attractive. It used to make me feel depressed that that's all they cared about. It still does make me sad. Men are generally quite horrible really. I make absolutely no effort to stay young/ attractive because they can all fuck off😆😆😆 (plus I'm married to a rare decent one)

Im doing weights now and really appreciate how well my body works ans responds when i treat it to some exercise. Loads of endorphins and can see my body getting fitter week on week. Grateful to be healthy

I stayed fairly similar looking in my thirties but ageing has definitely hit me in my forties. I'm heavier and my face is heavier, which i hate. I used to be lovely and slim. I don't enjoy ageing but at the same time I'm fairly accepting. I just try and have nice hair, nails and clothes and look reasonably presentable. No way would I bother with botox or weight loss injections though. Truthfully, having my children changed my body quite a lot but I wouldn't change anything.

I was superficially “attractive”. But I work in a very male dominated sector, so I spent years playing that down. I could hide it very well at work, but be very different socially and that worked for me. I didn’t want the job because I was “attractive” I wanted it because I’m bloody good. I was and am very good at my job. Now I am older and much more senior? I can’t be arsed much, but if I make the effort? I’m still me 🥰 And I don’t really care what anyone else thinks.