To think it’s inappropriate how my neighbour treats her daughter?

Same op?!
That explains a lot! So basically in this story she’s the girl and just trying to see what we all think from another pov. How bizarre

I guess not or I assumed it was a typo. Perhaps from a different part of the U.K.🤷‍♀️

A "pageboy" isn't a 'boy's haircut' - it's just another name for a bob but not really used since the 80s (when I had one).

Bob was seen as 'cooler' - but it's not different.

Have you not? "Naice" is a MN staple - "naice ham" has been a thing here for years.

I and others do 🤷‍♀️

and the op hasn’t been back….

I read the other thread at the time so I know what one is being referred to. I don't think it's the same poster.

She absolutely can't change schools until GCSEs are over.

After that though it's an ideal time.

Take it you haven’t read the backstory to this

the 15 year old is the op

she is a very troubled woman who is obsessed with her past

No I don't see that. Some people are friends with their neighbours, just like the OP.

Helping her gain interest and confidence is a first step. Finding an activity she’d be interested in… sport, yoga, art, drama, music, needlepoint, bird watching… It doesn’t really matter. Finding an interest or a passion will be a great way to connect with others, even if they’re not at school and will start building her confidence and friendship group over time.

I’ve never seen the term “naice” before. 🤷‍♀️

I, too, think this is the same poster.
Very similar story.

Yes

this op is very fucked up. That other thread… mind blowing. And to think she’s a parent herself is nothing short of terrifying

Or, if the OP is cosplaying an imaginary neighbour as she reimagines her childhood being viewed by someone external to it.

I can’t bring it up directly with the mother she’s got a bossy, defensive personality

Sure you can. You just don't want to.

You're a churchgoer. What would Jesus do?

Ah…. There’s a back story.

yes I sensed something more was going on here

Do you not see that how one may address this situation differs from if you were just neighbours ie said hi and bye to one another as most of us do with our neighbours versus a very close and enduring friendship, which this is!

I think it's really odd that you even pointed out that OP is also her neighbour's friend. Don't you wonder why you're the only poster who has an issue with this?

Sounds like the daughter needs a decent haircut, a fresh set of clothes, to attend a drama club to boost her confidence and social skills (and then she can project body confidence, too) and make friends,

A fresh start at school would be good, but she’s in the middle of gcse’s. Not unheard of, though.

The mother on the other hand needs to stop restricting her daughter’s ability to take important steps to independence. The limiting of friendship opps needs to stop.

Everything you've said points to this girl being seen as 'weird' by her school mates. Her mother sounds very controlling. Religious people (in my experience) can use religion to justify being abusive (obviously not always, but it does happen) and sometimes have very disciplinarian/authoritarian outlooks. She sounds like this odd family who used to live up the road from me when I grew up - religious, overweight, clothes and hair looked like they came from several decades earlier, the two girls appeared to have one skirt between them that they wore every day (not at the same time obvs, they weren't THAT weird). It's hard to know what you could do to make a difference though.

OP, I posted on your other trhead where you were saying this has realy afffected you and you cant forgive your mum for making you be friends with 'Jane'

You really need to let it go, or get some therapy, It was a long time ago 💐

I feel very sorry for this girl. Confidence in yourself starts young. It comes from being heard, from having parents who care about you, your feelings and your viewpoint, who make it clear that you matter, who "scaffold" you in difficult situations and are there to catch you when you fall (literally and metaphorically). It comes from them providing a secure base that you can retreat to, and from that base you grow in the courage to strike out on your own. And this has happened from a young age, so that by the time you're a teen you might be shy in certain situations but you've had enough practice at social interactions to know how to go about connecting with others, and you've had sufficient successes to not take rebuffs personally.

It's difficult to know where to start with fixing this one, but unconditional, supportive parental love and understanding would be a start, I suppose. But if it wasn't there before, it's not suddenly going to develop now.