Close friend has gone NC with me over her DP

Maybe if he was doing it regularly that might be a consideration. But a drunken one off comment which he apologized for? Nope

I am aghast at all the (presumably) women saying she shouldn't have told her friend!

He made un unwanted, disgusting, sexual comment to her - of course she should call him out on it! This is why men get away with it.

Vile.

She has chosen a tosser.
You did the right tning giving her the heads up.
But like a lot of stupid women she has decided to go with him.

This will not end well for her, but you now have the measure of her.

By all means wish her well, but make it clear YOU told her the truth about HIS sleazy creepy behaviour, and YOU did NOTHING wrong.

Be honest with anyone who asks why.

She may well contact you again when things inevitably go tits up, but I wouldn't ever invest in her again.

She's one of those women that puts any loser ahead of a friend.

I'm so sorry for you, but better you know.
This is who she is.

The point in telling her was so that she knows her partner isn't trustworthy. Would you really not tell your friend that, keep seeing them socially, have to be nice to this man in front of her, all the while knowing what he was like? What about if he later cheated on her? With friends like these...

You did the right thing.

She's desperate / in denial.

Not everything has to be shared. Some moments are best left where they finished. If you shut it down and he apologised for the comment, what was the point in telling your friend? There's immaturity on all sides here. The friend, the partner, and you.

Total mea culpa, didn't read the subsequent post about what the comment was. You did the right thing, OP. The comment is beyond the pale. Apologies.

Unfortunately OP you have no idea what he's told her, he's probably denied it and said you were trying it on with him! She's very foolish to put this creepy man above a friendship which she'll live and learn in time. I'm not surprised you're upset but you did the right thing.

That comment is so horrific and you did absolutely the right thing. She is being a mug, but it’s shit for you that you are the collateral damage.

Let her know you will always be there for her

I bet he told her you made up the comment or you tried it on with him hence the comment she can’t leave you alone with him .

She wants to keep you away from her "happy" haha relationship as you are a risk to it. It is very sad that she has chosen him over you. But there is nothing you could have done about it.

Sisterhood!

YANBU.

You did the right thing.

She is dillusional if she thinks she has a partner she can rely on.

She treated you badly. I'd call her out, but then I'm happy to call ad behaviour out, you might not be. In any case, you don't need friends like her.

What a disgusting man. If she really values her relationship with a man who would do that over everything else, there isn't much you can do except wait for it to fall apart.

Just seen your update - 9 months. She binned you off for a guy she's been seeing for 9 months. That's a boyfriend and not a keeper, not a partner. How long have you been friends? I agree with the above posters, she'll be back, question is would you want her back after this .......

When he cheats and leaves her, dont be there to pick up the pieces.

It's on her, not you. I'd second telling someone else in your friendship group so that when he tries it on with someone else, they'll be forewarned and maybe your friend will realise where the problem is. It's not uncommon- a close relative told me when she got divorced, she had a few men in her wider friendship group try it on with her, as if she were desperate for a man, any man!

Oh okay, well here’s the link as it’s a good perspective of what he might have told her

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5436715-my-fiance-told-another-woman-he-fantasises-about-her?page=1

It's not unnecessary drama, it's another shitty man who thinks it's ok to chase any woman he wants. Your friend needed to know this about him.

I think I would wish her well and put that you hold no grudge against her , but you would never make a move on any friends partner and are completely innocent in what she has been told what went on .

I completely agree with you

you should have drawn it line under it and moved on instead of causing all this unnecessary drama

Um… I’m pretty sure your friend posted about this OP but I’m not sure if linking it is the right thing to do or not…

She’s lucky to have (had) a friend that would tell like you did. What a creep. And what a shame she’s currently reacting like this. Certainly from a place of jealousy, and sounds like she wants to (perhaps while processing) stick her head in the sand and pretend it didn’t happen by eliminating in her mind the “threat”. Unfortunately for her, her husband is the real “threat” and she’ll carry this with her into the future of her relationship. Sorry you were treated so poorly by her, I hope she comes around.

You did exactly the right thing OP.

It sounds as though when she has talked to him about this either he has spun it that you were the one instigating the inappropriate remark. Or she has sussed that he has an inappropriate interest in you and she is guarding her territory.

Don't beat yourself up about this. If that's the way he behaves when he has had a drink and how she reacts then you are probably better off not being involved with them.