Close friend has gone NC with me over her DP

She's insecure in her new marriage relationship, isn't she. Poor woman. Looks like she's finding out "I'm so special that he's stopped wanting other women" is a delusion, as always.

She was completely wrong to blame you, OP - more accurately, she doesn't blame you but sees you as a temptation strong enough to lure her man off his freshly-chosen path of righteousness 🙄

But I sympathise with her. She's made a massive, public commitment to coupledom with this Lothario. She's placed all her trust in him and now finds it was misplaced. She's not going to want to face that. She will, in time, when the evidence mounts to a level she can't ignore.

You didn't do wrong in telling her: the stakes are too high for her to back away from him now, but you've contributed a piece to a puzzle she won't want to complete. I'm sorry that man's put you in this position.

EDIT: I thought they were married. Now I see they aren't, I hope she can get out of this faster!

You did the right thing and ever doubt yourself about that.

She's being delusional, and this is a classic case of the messenger getting shot.

I’d be telling them what happened. Don’t cover for either her or him. What he said to you was disgustingly and if my partner said that to anyone they’d be an ex. It’s a new bf. If she was married to him with kids, it would be more complicated (but still no reason to defriend you) but for a new bf then her standards must be very low. Well done you for calling him out and letting her know. Yeah you’ll grieve the friendship you thought you had but she’s shown you her values now. That’s who she is. Someone who puts a svummy man before her friends.

Is there a chance that the boyfriend messaged you from your friend's phone? Easier for him if you're not speaking to her.

I don’t think you can misunderstand what that pig said. Stop excusing men’s poor behaviour and expecting women to smile and be uncomfortable.

Also, I know you said you’re seeing other friends tonight.

Personally, I wouldn’t bring it up unless they do — and if it comes up, stay non-committal and move the conversation along, unless these are very close friends you truly trust.

You don’t want your name linked to a sleaze or a cheat, and the more energy you give something, the more it sticks to you and pulls you into it.

This is a sign to move on from her friendship!

I wouldn't want her back if she's the type of woman who chooses to bin a close friend over some slimeball she's only been seeing for 9 months!

You were a good friend and told her: she’s a big girl and made her choice based on the information you’ve given her!!

She’s actually done you a favour by distancing herself from you- after she’s chosen to stay with someone like that - he’s a creep and she’s choosing to stay with a creep.
so she probably would have then blamed you in the future:

you’re well rid!

Read the update

She's being extremely stupid and coming across desperate. Thowing away a long standing friendship with a loyal friend for a 9 month relationship with a sleezy man is crazy. Does she think keeping him away from you is problem solved lol. She can't keep him away from every woman that he might take a fancy to and try it on with. Others won't have the loyalty to her like you do, so it is only a matter of time until he finds 1 that doesn't turn him down.

She will be back with her tail between her legs. If I was you I would turn her away. She is not a good friend to you to do this

You did the right thing

Friend is digging her own grave. Should have been an instant dump of this man.

I would just not contact her again.

I think that the partner has told her that you came onto him or that it never happened so she doesn’t believe you. Either way you did the right thing.

Your 'friend' is an idiot who prioritises dick over her friends who genuinely care for her, she's no big loss. You did the right thing op, it's not your fault she's stupid.

What a creep!

You did the right thing OP by telling her.

She is incredibly daft to lose a good, honest friend like you and to chose to keep a pig of a man.

My feeling is that she will be back full of regrets in a few months when she inevitably realises that she was dating a complete asshole...

Wtf?

Are you sure you didn't misunderstand and thought he was hitting on you? That would explain his wife's reaction.

And once again, I am sure there are some people out there who would regard his advances as flirtatious and attractive. The op doesn’t. He’s a total creep.

nothing to do with misogyny. Dearie me.

You did the right thing, but unfortunately the messenger usually ends up getting shot. There is a price to be paid for being the one who tells an uncomfortable truth.

As much as people may protest that they would rather know the truth, it often doesn't work out like that. And you become an inconvenient reminder of that truth.

My best friend in my 20's hasn't spoken to me since the night of her 26th birthday party. I'd crashed at hers after with a few others, but there was no room in the spare bedroom so I was on the sofa. Her husband (not that drunk by the way) snuck downstairs, woke me by attempting to kiss me, and suggested we 'have some fun'. Their young children were also sleeping upstairs to add to the grimness.

This is a man that never showed any previous inclination of being a cheat or a creep.

I immediately shouted, woke everyone up, and told friend what had happened. She was so upset she asked everyone to leave.

I was completely frozen out of the whole friendship group the day after.

I don't regret for an instant standing up for myself. To be honest I couldn't have reacted differently, my anger and disgust was too great.

I've heard apologies from some over the years saying he'd done the same to them and cheated with other women, but I wasn't interested in striking up a friendship with such weak women again.

"Pick me chooses dirt bag over long time good female friend". The good news is you won't have to listen to her crying on your shoulder when he starts cheating on her and the whole things falls apart. Don't take her back and enjoy the car crash.

Who needs enemies with "friends" like this?

Once again. I am saying your comments are misogynistic - we have a proven sexually harassing predator described by the OP and your thoughts don’t go to his victims but find an explanation that ‘other desperate women’ would welcome this sexually harassing predatory behaviour.

The messenger always gets shot in these situations. Something similar happened to me, but I didn't tell and she found out anyway from someone else and then blamed me for NOT telling her. You can't win either way, unfortunately.

I think I would have to give her a bit of tough love here.

‘It’s really sad that you don’t value yourself highly enough to walk away from some creep who will hit on your friends and humiliate you. It’s even sadder that you are willing to throw away our friendship because he can’t keep his dick in this pants. ‘

Hi OP, I can only offer advice from a similar situation with a close friend of mine. I was slapped across the arse hard by her 'DH" at a party 5 years ago whilst no one else was watching. I left the party and told my friend the next day. She also told me not to contact her or her children (my godchildren) as it would rock the marriage.
I was devastated. I felt minimised and assaulted but ultimately I chose not to chase the friendship or contact the police as my safety had to come first and I was frightened of him. Last year friend separated from the husband as he had been abusing her and he now has access to the children via a contact centre. I haven't made contact with ex-friend- the bridge has burnt, but ultimately, look after yourself first. Your friend won't listen to you if he is manipulating her and sometimes it takes a wake up call for her to realise.

OP you did the right thing BUT Unless shes going to LTB you are going to be the collateral damage. I mean she either believes you or she believes him, or more correctly she wants to believe you or she wants to believe him. She cant have a relationship with you both.

If he behaves like this it wont be long until your friend sees the light. Im sorry but this situation is one your going to have to move on from.