Close friend has gone NC with me over her DP

Shes being short sighted... its only a matter of time before he says it to someone with less scruples

Tbh if she will discard you so easily maybe the took itself out

They’re not married. He’s a bf of just 9 months. She’s a twat.

Hi op,

you meant something or she would not have bothered but it still hurts!
she is insecure. And you can’t change that. If I’d fell any women trying anything, I would plant my flag no issue so for her to think she needs to not see you…is sad…coz if he wants to cheat, he will.

I would have chosen a friend over a man that can’t be trusted! You need a better friend and when she comes back…tell her you « moved on ».

He's got form I guarantee it and wifey knows but rather than dump his ass she's thinking of ways for him to stick around... oh dear one thing is for sure they haven't got a decent marriage

Your friend may be infatuated but she's a complete fool to dump you, who presumably have been a friend for some time, for this guy. Bad judgement all around.

You need to raise that bar with female friendships.

Wow @Abbeyshome really now it’s happened to two of you the other person should let your mutual friend know. The boyfriend is a real piece of work!

Of course he did! What a tosser 🙄 she's very foolish to fall for it, unfortunately you're right, she will find out in time.

Make sure you tell them as soon as you get there. You don’t want them hearing his fake version first.

You did the right thing to tell her OP. She needs to know what a sleazy POS she’s with. And she’s a shit friend for choosing him over you.

Disagree completely.

I also had this (who didn't?). Told the friend, she promptly dumped me and stayed with him. They married. He made her a broodmare, she's at home, birthing and raising child after child, no job, no own money, no education, no prospects. He fucked his way through our hometown, neighbouring towns and is currently working through further fields. She's not going to leave him, nowhere to go.

I was sad for a while, I was young. Now I have better friends. The ones self-respecting and smart enough not to stay with an absolute sleaze and a cheat, and loyal enough, not to put a random dick above else.

You did the right thing, OP, don't feel bad. She made her bed.

Also, honest to god, I hope my friends are not like (some) people commenting here. If my 'boyfriend' offered to fuck any of them on the kitchen table, I really really hope they'd come and tell me.

I did a similar thing back in my 20’s. I told a work friend about how her fiancé had come on really strong to me when I saw him in a nightclub. It completely backfired. Exactly the same as you, she was fine when I told her and said she appreciated me letting her know. But when she spoke to him about it, apparently it was me all over him and he practically had to fight me off! She wouldn’t speak to me again.

I never get involved now.

Lol at the saddo menz pitiful attempts to minimize and denigrate the OP. Nice try fellas. 🤣

Oh honestly. I despair. The misogyny. 🙄

Because there are absolutely no men or women out there who would ever regard this kind of awful attention from this kind of creep as flattering. And there are absolutely no women or men out there who would ever respond to it. (There are many).

Please do some dictionary work.

You have done nothing wrong op. I’m sure that you aren’t the first and won’t be the last friend that she loses due to her disgusting partner.

Poor misunderstood little man.

My Ex friends part time boyfriend made a pass at me whilst sitting in between me and her in the back of a taxi and I asked him to stop very clearly. My friend sided with him, I was so shocked. Completely ditched me as a friend, cancelled all the shared invites we had including a party I helped organise for her. A week later he’d moved on to someone new and dumped her. Whilst I am sympathetic as she was clearly desperate and had just been dumped by a married man she’d been with for 20 years (behind everyone’s backs) I’m shocked I didn’t call her out on it now. However about a year later she got in touch and I just accepted her back as a friend although I have to say the very easy friendship we’d had wasn’t the same. It wasn’t until I caught a message from her a while later to my OH on his mobile that it finally hit me what a dire friend she had been. To cut a long story short my dad had died and my MH took a nose dive and my OH reached out to her to see if she would come and visit me and she suggested he take me to the Dr instead. Gutting but this time I couldn’t really explain her behaviour away. But I also know why she acted like she did and that wasn’t a reflection on me it was her own issues. I now have better boundaries.

Oh that will be the victim of his sexual harassment causing the drama - because misogynists state horrors like this:

“He’s probably found it usually works a treat and he will be more successful with other desperate women who love that kind of man because they think it’s flattering”

To be ‘fair’ he didn’t know the OP wasn’t one of those types of women identified by the misogynistic poster above - so it’s ‘understandable’ that he sexually harasses any woman in his predatory path until someone ‘relents’ as ‘they love this type of man and find it flattering’

Honestly with other women holding and spouting these views, I despair.

This isn't about you. This is about her wrestling with the ugly realisation that she's involved with a known creep.

So many women will put up with anything rather than be single, and we can't always know what drives them to do that.

And sadly instead of the friend who considered her wellbeing and happiness, she has chosen to cling to the man who will inevitably go on to destroy it and so weaken her friendship circle.

If you love her, accept her decision with a kind, polite reply that lets her know you hear her point of view, tell her you'll always think of her as a friend and hope you can be again. Wish her all the best and end with a reminder of your contact details. Then step away. You may find one day there's a tentative reaching out from a regretful friend who now really needs you.

Who caused all the drama sorry?

Op, sorry if I have missed it but did you tell her the detail of what he actually said to you?

She will realise soon enough. And then you will have difficult decision as to what to do with your friendship.

Apparently different responses to him from different people expressed here makes you a misogynist. 🙄

That's very sad, and a very immature response from your friend.

If anything, she should be kicking the DP to the curb, not the friend!

Ok, you are right, I missed that post from OP.