Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Redundancy announcement - furious with manager and colleague

130 replies

Robin85 · 04/11/2025 08:09

I was told my job is being put at risk yesterday, along with almost 85% of those in my department (100+ people). A lot of us have been there 15-20+ years so there was a lot of emotion and anxiety about the future.

Today’s my non working day so I’m trying to take stock of things, and I can’t help but still feel angry about something a much younger colleague said. He is in his first role out of college and only been here about 1.5 years, so I don’t think the impact on him is quite the same (also lives at home).

About 10 minutes after we left the room where the announcement was made, he said in earshot of about 5/6 of us female colleagues, that at least we will all be alright. He was asked what he meant and said well it’s not like the men can go on onlyfans. One of my colleagues relayed the comments to our manager and he just laughed and said he was just trying to lighten the mood.

I think I’m more annoyed with how my manager replied but appreciate I am still emotional due to the announcement. Do you think that comment should be reported to HR or should I just forget it?

OP posts:
LimeGalah · 04/11/2025 08:53

It’s not ok and it doesn’t become ok just because he’s stressed.

I’d probably report it. If I’m going to lose my job anyway might as well. I’d also report the manager - you reported inappropriate behaviour and your manager dismissed a legitimate complaint.

Booboobagins · 04/11/2025 08:52

Def a very poor taste joke and exist, but you will fair better than him as you've been there longer.

But 85% is not 100% job losses and as the company goes through restructuring things may change slightly.

Best of luck with it all, it's shitty to find out before Christmas x

senua · 04/11/2025 08:51

A lot of us have been there 15-20+ years ... He is in his first role out of college and only been here about 1.5 years
You are only entitled to redundancy after you have been in a job for two years. He will be cheaper to get rid of than you.
Karma will get him.

TheUsherGirl · 04/11/2025 08:49

You're very dismissive of the impact this will have on him...

It's his first "proper" job but being made redundant can be scary whenever it happens (I was made redundant at my first job, only 4 months after starting and I was in tears over it). Maybe he was making plans to move out, start his life independently, maybe his parents will be hard on him for being out of work, maybe he has a partner he was planning on proposing to or taking on an expensive holiday...

Being young and living at home doesn't mean redundancy isn't scary and emotional

He handled that by making a slightly crass joke. You could have batted something back to him like "you could always join the cast of Magic Mike" or "it's ok, no one would pay to see you anyway" etc

Pricelessadvice · 04/11/2025 08:45

I think it was a poor attempt to lighten the mood. I’d let it go.

HelpMeUnpickThis · 04/11/2025 08:42

someepeoplearenice · 04/11/2025 08:15

YANBU to be annoyed. He’s a fucking arse and has shown he sees women as primarily sexual ( I am sure he could sell his arse on Only fans btw).

I wouldn’t tell HR when my job was on the line though. It’s unfair that it might go against you if you did, but it might.

Have to agree with this.

DickDewey · 04/11/2025 08:36

It was a joke. Would you really consider reporting him for this? How petty.

Modernsoul · 04/11/2025 08:34

Robin85 · 04/11/2025 08:32

Thanks all. I won’t take it any further, my emotions are just heightened I think.

Squash any thought of this
and use your day off to take stock and plan

AngelsuseAlgorithms · 04/11/2025 08:34

Sorry but I probably would have laughed at that and given as good as I got. But it seems I'm in the minority.

HR will do absolutely nothing as they have bigger fish to fry with the redundancies to manage. It's going to be manic for them. At very best, he would get an informal chat with his manager who will probably just laugh it off again as they have bigger concerns about 100 people facing redundancy. It cynical to admit but you on the other hand would be seen as 'that person' creating drama when there's much bigger issues to deal with. Don't do it.

Just focus on what you need to and don't look to redirect your stress and anger in the wrong direction.

MyFlabbersAreGasted · 04/11/2025 08:32

Christ it was a joke - you have much bigger fish to fry

Original poster
Robin85 · 04/11/2025 08:32

Thanks all. I won’t take it any further, my emotions are just heightened I think.

OP posts:
TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 04/11/2025 08:29

You could have pointed out that it is not restricted to women, so he could go on there too.

ilovesooty · 04/11/2025 08:27

He's a misogynistic little shit and his comment should have been challenged on the spot.

helpfulperson · 04/11/2025 08:26

Why does everything have to reported or dealt with by a manager? Whats wrong with just saying at the time 'not funny' or similar.

BendoftheBeginning · 04/11/2025 08:24

The sad thing is he probably does believe it. There are a few men out there who genuinely think women have it easy because we can coast through life on sex appeal while they have to have “real” ability.

Imisscoffee2021 · 04/11/2025 08:24

It was a bad taste joke and shows him to be a misogynistic little arsehole, however I think you're transferring your worries and energy onto the wrong thing, which is natural in this situation.

Modernsoul · 04/11/2025 08:22

HostaCentral · 04/11/2025 08:20

Does nobody come back at these kind of comments anymore. There are so many ways you could've responded.

Anyway, don't dwell, he's an immature man who was trying to be funny. It wasn't, but definitely not an HR issue.

I am a woman

i might have smiled, not least bit offended. Instead more concerned about the pressing matter of the redundancy news!

rwalker · 04/11/2025 08:20

Lifes too short and there’s bigger problems

HostaCentral · 04/11/2025 08:20

Does nobody come back at these kind of comments anymore. There are so many ways you could've responded.

Anyway, don't dwell, he's an immature man who was trying to be funny. It wasn't, but definitely not an HR issue.

ExtraOnions · 04/11/2025 08:20

He said something stupid, when reacting to a stressful situation… people do.

Not sure what “going to HR” will achieve.. I think you are angry at the redundancy news, he’s just something convenient to pin it on

NotForTheMoneyandNotForTheApplause · 04/11/2025 08:19

Given the circs it's not something that would bother me, I'd think he was a bit of a dick but nothing more than that

Eenameenadeeka · 04/11/2025 08:17

It's a silly joke, but it's just a bad joke in a tricky situation. It sounds like there are much bigger issues to focus on, and in your current position I wouldn't want to be involved in taking any dramas to HR

MermaidMummy06 · 04/11/2025 08:17

It was off colour, but having been through the process with my last employer - three times - each taking almost a year, and dumped on the third, concentrate on your own position.

Start your resume & learn how jobs are applied for now - it's vastly different to 15 years ago (I was at my employer 20 years). Even if you're not made redundant now, it's a warning that no job is secure & you need to be agile & ready to move on.

You might even find a better opportunity!

Modernsoul · 04/11/2025 08:15

someepeoplearenice · 04/11/2025 08:15

YANBU to be annoyed. He’s a fucking arse and has shown he sees women as primarily sexual ( I am sure he could sell his arse on Only fans btw).

I wouldn’t tell HR when my job was on the line though. It’s unfair that it might go against you if you did, but it might.

Goodness, are you prone to seeing shadows everywhere??!

Modernsoul · 04/11/2025 08:15

One of my colleagues relayed the comments to our manager

as in reporting him
or
sharing the joke