To think that good managers don’t ask colleagues to “look in my diary and book something?”

I think it’s good management. Not only are you allowing your employee to choose a time that suits them which recognises their time is valuable and they may have lots of things planned, you are also avoiding wasting their time (and your own) on the inevitable and tedious back and forth trying to find a date and time that works.

This all day. it’s basically ‘Look at my diary and pick a free time that suits you and your workload/pattern’.
I don’t have time for the back and forth on Teams…
’Hi egg’
Me: ’Hi how can I help?’
’Did you have a good weekend?’
Me: ‘Yes thanks you?
’Great thanks’
Me: ‘Great’
……[random silence]
’When is good to chat about project x?’
[consults diary selects random free time]
Me: ‘Tuesday at 4pm?’
’Sorry I have something then’
Me: ‘Wednesday at 9?’
’Sorry I don’t work Wednesdays’

AGGGH! I expect the team member to take the time to consult my diary and select a mutually available time rather than a to and fro guessy game so my response is usually ‘my diary is up to date so pick a time that suits you’.

I would I’m afraid judge a team member for not having the critical thinking skills to do that in the first place. It drives me nuts.

OP, you are being a prig about this. Frankly, you aren’t the “boss” in this situation. You need to get on with it- without making points or acting put out by a reasonable management request.

A good manager, coaches you, gives you opportunities for growth, gives you exposure to decision makers, etc. Taking on admin tasks that you deem fit isn’t really important. You should adjust your attitude- the meeting is for your benefit. Face time with your manager is a good thing for you, and takes your manager’s time.

I don't mind this at all OP.

What I do dislike is "I'm looking at my calendar and I'm free then. Please contact my PA to book in the meeting." The meeting was just us two and on his request not mine.

He could have just clicked on it and added it in. But instead he decided to involve someone else to make himself look important.

Honestly don’t understand why this is an issue at all. Quite usual in my experience - it’s the most efficient way of booking a slot that works for both with minimal fuss all round unless the manager is senior enough to have a PA do it for them.

I am quite fastidious with my calendar, I mark important meetings and those where there is some flexibility. I always mark days I’m in a particular location and travel time if it applies and my days on leave. I get frustrated when I look in other peoples calendar to suggest a meeting date/time and they come back and say oh sorry I’m on leave that day, or I have another commitment that’s not in their calendar. So now I sometimes ask my teams to suggest dates/times for meetings rather than trigger that frustration. Although some will always suggest dates times I can’t make, which would be obvious if they had looked in my calendar. The optimum would be for everyone to use their calendar well then I wouldn’t mind arranging the meeting.

It depends.

I am a senior manager and I would not expect my team members to have to book their own regular one to one supervision meetings with me for example. That's my responsibility.

Also, I do think it is a bit lazy if a manager initiates a meeting but then just expects everyone else to do the job of organising it. If a manager does that to me I would certainly think ''I am not your PA...''.

I think it is fine if someone asks to meet with me to ask them to find a day and time to meet in my calendar though.

The context is that a meeting needs to be arranged to suit both your diaries.
What on earth more context could you need?

Take comfort in the fact that 88% of people agree that your way is better (which is obviously is, imo)

Saying check my diary and put something in is more proactive than messing about suggesting times.

I think, as someone else has suggested, you see this as a menial task that someone is fobbing off rather than a collaborative process. I prefer a collaborative relationship with my reportees and managers than what feels like micro managing - which to me is quite disrespectful.

Good managers, in my experience, handle their own requests instead of delegating the admin to whoever happens to be there.

Surely the point of being a manager is that you delegate stuff able to be done by other people.

I strongly prefer to pick the meeting time. I need blocks of time to do my work best. If someone schedules a meeting in the middle of a free block, it can ruin an excellent opportunity.

My manager asking me to pick a time shows respect for my work. It’s the ones that just plonk something on my schedule that I don’t like.

I think formal 1-1s should always be booked by managers (and be a regular series). I hate it when managers say to book your own 1-1s - really poor leadership imo. It’s so important to show your team you value them enough to dedicate the time. I have a 1-1 every week with my direct reports and if I need to move it I ask first - it’s important and I consider it to be their time not mine. My manager does the same.

Ad hoc meetings to be booked by whomever instigates the meeting - don’t expect me to book in time if you want to meet, equally I don’t expect you to book in time if I want to meet.

I also ask my team to book meetings when we are meeting with other teams, but only if they are also going to be attending the meeting or I’m delegating the meeting to them.

I think you’re being a bit precious here. When a meeting is booked through a diary system you get reminders for the meeting, something you won’t get when manually coordinating. And the back and forth would be annoying - assuming you are quite busy too.

Also it’s strange you argue that the person requesting the meeting should organise it. It’s literally a managers job description to discuss stuff with their colleagues, so of course they might request a face to face meeting. It’s not their job description to book it into the diary.

I think you’re feeling a power balance that doesn’t sit right with you?

Putting the scheduling to the more junior person gives them some control of the time frame. It’s generally seen as more respectful, and that would be because most people don't see the administrative task of booking the meeting as demeaning. They recognise the very real control and ownership it gives the person doing the booking.

They set the date, they set the participants, they set the agenda, any pre read requirements etc. Whereas the manager sets it and has consequence of others having to dance around them. Probably with wrong participants, probably wrong time frame. Because they’re not as close to tye details as their team are.

You may wish to take a pause and reflect on your opinions of administrative actions.

(Once you get senior enough you then have an assistant who does that for you, but what they tend to do is source the required information from the team member and then play diary reshuffle to accommodate).

I say this all the time out of respect and consideration for my team, so they can choose any of my available slots to best suit them. It would never have occurred to me that there were people out there who would twist that into something to moan about.

Also if I can deal with organising a meeting in two emails (1- ask Person A to add it 2- click "yes" on their invite) it decreases the chance of the email being lost in the twentybillion emails I've had in the meantime.

AIBU? Yes you are
no I’m not

why raise it as an aibu if you are convinced you’re not when 85% of us think you are

I am a manager of other managers and I will delegate these types of things to them as I am the most senior so my time costs the most and likewise my manager delegates them to me for him. It’s makes sense.

I can tbf see OPs argument that her method is (for want of a better word) gentler and might feel a bit less like a hierarchy but I don't think there's any world in which it's more efficient.

I totally disagree, it’s far more respectful and empowering for someone to say, choose a time which suits you, than mess about trying to debate it.

I really don’t understand the issue with it to be honest.

"I don't know, I'll have to check my calendar" just wastes time too though. If you asked me about next Tuesday, I wouldn't have a clue. If I suggested Wednesday, my manager might not. We're both busy. It's simpler to just say to find a time that suits us both.